# M. Night Shyamalan, you should drown in a vat of boiling horse semen **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118 "2008-06-24T22:32:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/61 "2008-06-26T14:08:20Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Christ, enough about Alan Arkin! Horse semen! Horse semen! Great globs of yellowish-grey, stinking horse jissum - streaking from the nozzles of fire-hoses connected to a great vat of come, thousands of pounds of pressure sending the great waves of semen flooding through the hallways of M. Night Shyamalan’s mansion, knocking paintings from the walls, breaking windows and setting off burglar alarms, flowing flowing flowing until the great tidal wave of horse semen finally reaches Shyamalan’s bed-chamber and fills his room to the brim, drowning him in the stuff. [/QUOTE] Hey, you knew the risks going in. You willingly invited Shyamalan to serve you up your own overflowing yak-cock daquiri. Or “yaquiri.” ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/62 "2008-06-26T14:25:25Z")
I dunno. I look forward to his Airbender trilogy. My reasoning may be flawed though. I just can’t wait to see what the porn remake does with the giant flying beaver. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/63 "2008-06-26T14:59:59Z")
[QUOTE=Algorithm] _The Happening_ would be more believable if people were killing themselves because they saw _Lady in the Water_. [/QUOTE] Now THAT would have bene an awesome twist! It would turn the movie frm the super-serious ptemnetiousness into a wry self-commentary and mockery, and would instantly have elevated him to cool again. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/64 "2008-06-26T15:16:03Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] _The In-Laws_ is a drama? [/QUOTE] Well, it certainly wasn’t funny. > [@](#): > > And nearly-or-possibly-over 40 years old? … I gotta wonder what movie you’re talking about here. I fucked up. I meant “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter,” which is just as un-funny as “The In-Laws,” but with less pointless shouting. And none of them would have been improved, dramatically or comedically, by the writing and direction of M. Night Shyamalan. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/65 "2008-06-26T15:39:52Z")
Personally, I had envisioned the vat of horse semen as a big, oak, 1970s-style California hot tub. I don’t know why. It just seemed like something you would fill with reproductive fluids. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/66 "2008-06-26T15:44:58Z")
Which is why I stay out of big, oak, 1970s-style California hot tubs. There is no way you can sanitize them to my satisfaction. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/67 "2008-06-26T16:01:32Z")
I liked “The Village” somewhat but everything else he’s done except “Stuart Little” has sucked mightily. This latest piece of steaming draft horse poo isn’t even worth dumping on the Sci-Fi Channel at 3am. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/68 "2008-06-26T16:07:09Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] _The Sixth Sense_ worked well enough, but otherwise . . . Yeah. Hello?! _Signs?!_God gives a kid asthma and arranges an alien invasion of Earth just to help one priest recover his faith?! [/QUOTE] God is rich. He can afford it. Although as Carlin pointed out he has trouble handling money. Maybe this is an example of why he needs more . ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/69 "2008-06-26T16:56:21Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] A combination works fine for M. Night, being a hack. [/QUOTE] Ignorance fought. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/70 "2008-06-26T17:12:08Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Well, I see we already have a replacement for Carlin. [/QUOTE] This is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/71 "2008-06-26T17:40:02Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] This is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. [/QUOTE] Ah. Well, then I hesitate to tell you that I was referring to **Bryan**. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/72 "2008-06-26T18:06:43Z")
Heh-heh… I knew it, but modesty forced me to hold off until the evidence came in. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/73 "2008-06-26T18:13:32Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Heh-heh… I knew it, but modesty forced me to hold off until the evidence came in. [/QUOTE] Ah. Well, then I hesitate to tell _you_ that I was being somewhat facetious. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/74 "2008-06-26T19:44:15Z")
Takes all kind? Some relatives of mine love **The Lady in the Water**. Of course, they’re rabid RPG players, & they watch PBS children’s programs even though they don’t have kids. So there’s a love of low-tech storytelling in there that’s a bit off the median. I watched it once, thought it was cute in places if a bit dry. Haven’t seen the new one, don’t care. I’m not that interested in Night’s output. If Night S. only made one good movie, that’s not anything to be ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/75 "2008-06-26T19:59:57Z")
Given the abuse heaped on the film in this and other threads, I probably won’t be seeing _The Happening_, just as I didn’t see _Lady in the Water_. Too bad. _The Sixth Sense_ is still a fave of mine. Hope ol’ M. Night can salvage his career; he does have some talent. The original _The In-Laws_ has a few laughs, at least: the autographed photo of JFK with the inscription, “At least we tried,” referring to the Falk character’s role in planning the Bay of Pigs invasion, and Falk’s repeated orders to Arkin, “Serpentine! Serpentine!” as he’s running from machine-gun fire. But it’s far from a classic. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/76 "2008-06-26T20:57:25Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Ah. Well, then I hesitate to tell _you_ that I was being somewhat facetious. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I realize; the humour comes mostly from the shattering of Argent Tower’s ego. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/77 "2008-06-26T22:20:56Z")
Hah, well in any case, I’d be content to be the next Tom Green. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/78 "2008-06-26T22:23:34Z")
My bum is on the thread. My bum is on the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118/79 "2008-06-26T22:50:39Z")
[QUOTE=Weirddave] He was great as The Chief in Get Smart. [/QUOTE] Nahhhhhhh, that was Ed Platt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/m-night-shyamalan-you-should-drown-in-a-vat-of-boiling-horse-semen/454118.md?page=3)