# Machine or not a machine? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 1999, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926 "1999-12-10T19:04:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/1 "1999-12-11T06:49:00Z")
## machine: noun a device with several moving parts which uses power to do a particular type of work POSSIBLY A MACHINE: Bicycle Garden Weasel Swiss Army Knife Cheese grater Lava Lamp Suction Cups PROBABLY NOT A MACHINE: Pop Tart Mud Turtle Chap Stik Play Dough ---
**Author:** ![fippo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2bfe46/32.png) [@fippo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fippo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/2 "1999-12-11T06:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > PROBABLY NOT A MACHINE: > > Pop Tart > Mud Turtle > Chap Stik > Play Dough but wouldn’t the little screw count inside the chap stik count? it’s a lever! ## btw: what’s the point of this? Fippo- _Uh-Oh! The truck have started to move!_ ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/3 "1999-12-10T19:04:00Z")
You may have a point Fippo. I was focusing on the waxy stuff, but I think your right. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/4 "1999-12-10T19:17:00Z")
Why should there be a point? Did they change the name of the forum? What about the premise that all mechanical machines can be reduced to variations on the lever and the inclined plane? * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/5 "1999-12-10T19:22:00Z")
I give. What makes a cheese grater or a suction cup a machine? Neither has moving parts. And if the mud turtle is an actual amphibious creature, as opposed to some reference I don’t get, I think it IS a machine. If it’s parts didn’t work together with levers (muscle and bone), how could it locomote? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/6 "1999-12-10T19:24:00Z")
Spiritus, I think you left out one of the simple machines, the hydraulic press. * * * “There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.” ~P.J. O’Rourke~ ---
**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/7 "1999-12-10T19:26:00Z")
I thought a screw was a _inclined plane_ mapped onto a cylinder. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/8 "1999-12-10T19:32:00Z")
It is. * * * “There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.” ~P.J. O’Rourke~ ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/9 "1999-12-10T19:33:00Z")
The cheese grater is made of several parts (if you consider the cheese a part) that use energy (your arm I assume). The turtle is debatable. Hey, I’m looking for a fight! Inky ---
**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/10 "1999-12-10T19:34:00Z")
Oh, and the little flexable wings of the suction cups might be considered moving parts. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/11 "1999-12-10T19:57:00Z")
Oh, sure, now that you’ve put it that way, the “cheese grater + cheese + arm system” does qualify as a machine. But really only the arm should count on its own. I mean, what kind of work does cheese do? Or the grater by itself? And if the arm is a machine, then the turtle’s a machine, too. As for the suction cup, I guess if you wanted to call it an inclined plane, you could, but the logic is a little contrived. * * * Lots of questions - no good answers. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/12 "1999-12-10T20:16:00Z")
Here’s a point for this pointless topic: In Virginia, like other states, animals, pedestrians, and bicycles aren’t allowed on the interstate highways. But instead of being simple about it, they have a very wordy sign. One of the things not allowed on the highway is “self-propelled machinery”. What that defines is _every_ car, truck, or bus! It’s not like they’re getting their power from a third rail or anything. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 1999, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/13 "1999-12-10T20:43:00Z")
We need signs like that where I live. Then maybe the deer’d know to stay off the roads. Seriously though, I like my machines well oiled. * * * Lots of questions - no good answers. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 1999, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/machine-or-not-a-machine/11926/14 "1999-12-11T15:12:00Z")
“I’m a machine, you’re a machine Everybody that you know, you know they are machines.”