# Mad Cow Disease? Woman Arrested for being Disorderly in Cow Suit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2008, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983 "2008-10-01T12:09:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/1 "2008-10-01T12:09:09Z")
Being dressed as a cow doesn’t itself seem to have anything to do with it: > [@](#): > > MIDDLETOWN – A Middletown woman is accused of being disorderly in public – while wearing a cow suit. > > A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening. > > Allen also urinated on a neighbor’s front porch, the report said, and was warned by officers to go home and stay there. My favorite line: > [@](#): > > The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit. Go to the site. There’s a picture. [http://www.wlwt.com/news/17589970/detail.html](http://www.wlwt.com/news/17589970/detail.html) ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/2 "2008-10-01T12:13:02Z")
Maybe she got out of her pasture through a hole in the fence, and then was just running around confused. That happens sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/3 "2008-10-01T12:30:14Z")
I read it on a different site. There was more detail, but I can’t find it to link. One point made is she wears costumes for no reason, and the cow is just another one. I think she’s one damned ugly Holstein. She would have done better as a Golden Guernsey. She has the teats all wrong. They never get the teats right. She had the cows pee all over part right. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/4 "2008-10-01T12:44:13Z")
Here’s another report, with only marginally more detail: [http://www.middletownjournal.com/news/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/09/30/mj100108cow.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=16](http://www.middletownjournal.com/news/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/09/30/mj100108cow.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=16) This one’s even shorter, but with an interesting line: > [@](#): > > They couldn’t explain why Allen was wearing a cow suit, but she is known in her community for different incidents, including once standing outside the police station with a fishing pole, fishing the front lawn. [http://obscurestore.typepad.com/obscure\_store\_and\_reading/2008/09/cops-bust-woman.html](http://obscurestore.typepad.com/obscure_store_and_reading/2008/09/cops-bust-woman.html) AND this one: [http://www.wcpo.com/mostpopular/story.aspx?content\_id=d15fac17-5c19-4679-8572-44f76fcb7f81](http://www.wcpo.com/mostpopular/story.aspx?content_id=d15fac17-5c19-4679-8572-44f76fcb7f81) I like this line: > [@](#): > > Allen appeared in court Tuesday morning dressed in the suit. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/5 "2008-10-01T12:46:02Z")
The Smoking Gun has her arrest report: > **[The Smoking Gun: Public Documents, Mug Shots](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/)** > > Public Documents, Mug Shots ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/6 "2008-10-01T13:00:41Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > Maybe she got out of her pasture through a hole in the fence, and then was just running around confused. That happens sometimes. _splut_ ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/7 "2008-10-01T13:01:17Z")
But what would the milk taste like? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/8 "2008-10-01T13:03:54Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > But what would the milk taste like? Irish cream. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/9 "2008-10-01T15:26:40Z")
They don’t report whether she was facing north. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/10 "2008-10-01T15:32:00Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > But what would the milk taste like? I don’t know, but PETA wants Ben & Jerry’s to make ice cream out of it. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/11 "2008-10-01T15:34:00Z")
> [@](#): > > fishing the front lawn Band name. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/12 "2008-10-01T16:02:07Z")
I thought this was going to be PETA related but I guess it was just your average everyday crazy individual. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/13 "2008-10-01T16:10:29Z")
Oh my god! I clicked on the link to see the picture and… I OWN THAT COW SUIT! No, really! It was a Halloween costume I bought at Wal-Mart a few Years ago and kept. I think I actually threw it away last year, after I covered it in fake blood and McDonald’s wrappers. (I was a zombie cow come to feast on the flesh of my kind.) It was definitely the exact same cow suit, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/14 "2008-10-01T17:05:20Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > I OWN THAT COW SUIT! > > No, really! It was a Halloween costume I bought at Wal-Mart a few Years ago and kept. I think I actually threw it away last year, after I covered it in fake blood and McDonald’s wrappers. (I was a zombie cow come to feast on the flesh of my kind.) It was definitely the exact same cow suit, though. Given her history, it’s not inconceivable that she went through your garbage. [QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] She has the teats all wrong. They never get the teats right. [/QUOTE] Please elaborate! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/15 "2008-10-01T17:14:10Z")
My vet F-I-L usually charges 25 cents per preg check. She’s gonna be more. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/16 "2008-10-01T17:18:38Z")
The local news report talked about how udderly ridiculous this was and I realized what was missing here. I feel like we are falling down on the job here if we haven’t milked this story for all the puns we can, no matter how cheesy they may be. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/17 "2008-10-01T17:55:45Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > She has the teats all wrong. They never get the teats right. Is this a _Too Close for Comfort_ reference? If so, it may be the most obscure pop cultural reference I’ve ever gotten. Behold my geekiness, ye nerds, and tremble! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/18 "2008-10-01T18:16:05Z")
The whole thing is udderly ridiculous. I was moo-ved to tears. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/19 "2008-10-01T21:45:01Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Is this a _Too Close for Comfort_ reference? If so, it may be the most obscure pop cultural reference I’ve ever gotten. Behold my geekiness, ye nerds, and tremble! No. Note the size of the udder and the size of the teat. They always get it wrong. They shouldn’t stick out like four erections unless the udder is full to bursting or being milked. [http://www.flatnessintl.com/bertha-udder.jpg](http://www.flatnessintl.com/bertha-udder.jpg) I’ll add this little extra. Cows often have extra teats on the udder, but four is the normal number that are producing milk. Sometimes five or more will produce milk. These are supernumerary teats ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983/20 "2008-10-01T22:15:53Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > No. > > Note the size of the udder and the size of the teat. They always get it wrong. They shouldn’t stick out like four erections unless the udder is full to bursting or being milked. Not even if she’s … um … aroused? > [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > …supernumerary teats Band name! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-cow-disease-woman-arrested-for-being-disorderly-in-cow-suit/465983.md?page=2)