# MAD Memories and Useless Wisdom **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 6, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040 "2014-01-06T16:05:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/1 "2014-01-06T16:05:04Z")
For no reason I can identify, I had the sudden thought, > [@](#): > > “It’s crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide” and felt obliged to see what the interwebs had to say about it. The find that prompted this OP was [this one at Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magersfontein_Lugg) and it was among maybe a dozen hits that I have yet to investigate. The idea of this thread is to dredge up favorite things from MAD’s glory days and share them with other fans of that magazine and its offshoots. An old thread that had _The Far Side_ and _MAD_ references that might assist in memory-jogging is [Favorite “Far Side” Memories (MAD, too)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=192208) started 06-20-2003. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/2 "2014-01-06T16:10:45Z")
I didn’t remember that quote. Hope to hear more about it here. My favorite? First time in the men’s bathroom alone. “Pull down. Tear up.” And, oh, how sophisticated and sly I felt upon discovering my first copy of _MAD._ ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/3 "2014-01-06T16:26:38Z")
Another old thread that might have clues: [MAD words](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=317330) started 05-19-2005. I stumbled over it trying to locate the text of the poem _I wandered lonely as a clod._ ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/4 "2014-01-06T16:31:53Z")
I had one grunch but the eggplant over there. I understand completely. MAD’s influence on modern culture is vast and underrated. At least, it was until perhaps the last decade - color, ads and the NatLamp spin have not served the old rag well. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/5 "2014-01-06T17:45:53Z")
This thread really should have little drawings by Sergio Aragones in the margins. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/6 "2014-01-06T17:54:37Z")
One of the all-time great things is **43-Man Squamish** , the parody of organized sport written by Tom Koch and illustrated by George woodbridge. I can still quote parts of it. It also provided them with a parody game for the Harry potter movie satires they did, substituting “Squamish” for “Quidditch” > **[Tom Koch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/43-Man_Squamish)** > > Thomas Freeman Koch (May 13, 1925 – March 22, 2015) was an American humorist and writer. He wrote for Mad Magazine for 37 years. > Koch (pronounced "Cook") was born in Charleston, Illinois, and spent his youth in Indianapolis before attending Northwestern University. He published a book of poetry, I'll Remember Indiana, in 1948, and a book about Indiana basketball, Tournament Trail, in 1950. Later with Mad he published four books under the magazine's imprint. Koch moved to California in 1957, and ... Another notable thing is the **potrzebie System of Weights and Measures** , written by 19 year old Donald Knuth, who would later become famous for his multi-volume _The Art of Computer Programming_ > **[Potrzebie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potrzebie)** > > Potrzebie (/pɒtrəˈziːbi/; Polish pronunciation: \[pɔtˈʂɛbʲe\] dative/locative of potrzeba, "a need") is a Polish word popularized by its non sequitur use as a running gag in the early issues of Mad not long after the comic book began in 1952. > Mad editor Harvey Kurtzman spotted the word printed in the Polish language section of a multi-languaged "Instructions for Use" sheet accompanying a bottle of aspirin, and Kurtzman, who was fascinated with unusual words, decided it would make an appropriate bu... > **[Donald Knuth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_E._Knuth)** > > Donald Ervin Knuth (/kəˈnuːθ/ kə-NOOTH; born January 10, 1938) is an American computer scientist, mathematician, and professor emeritus at Stanford University. He is the 1974 recipient of the ACM Turing Award, informally considered the Nobel Prize of computer science. Knuth has been called the "father of the analysis of algorithms". > He is the author of the multi-volume work The Art of Computer Programming and contributed to the development of the rigorous analysis of the computational complexi... ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/7 "2014-01-06T17:57:15Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > … I stumbled over it trying to locate the text of the poem _I wandered lonely as a clod._ Finally located what I remembered seeing online once before. From [Axolotl poetry](http://www.caudata.org/forum/f1-general-topics/f5-general-discussion-news-members/f1167-off-topic/66549-axolotl-poetry.html): > [@](#): > > Some Axolotl poetry I found online: > > 1 > From MAD magazine #43, 1958: > > I Wandered Lonely as a Clod > > I wandered lonely as a clod, > Just picking up old rags and bottles, > When onward on my way I plod, > I saw a host of axolotls; > Beside the lake, beneath the trees, > A sight to make a man’s blood freeze. > > Some had handles, some were plain; > They came in blue, red pink, and green. > A few were orange in the main; > The damndest sight I’ve ever seen. > The females gave a sprightly glance; > The male ones all wore knee-length pants. > > Now oft, when on the couch I lie, > The doctor asks me what I see. > They flash upon my inward eye > And make me laugh in fiendish glee. > I find my solace then in bottles, > And I forget them axolotls. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/8 "2014-01-06T18:06:46Z")
Veeblefetzer. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/9 "2014-01-06T18:25:52Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > This thread really should have little drawings by Sergio Aragones in the margins. Was that “Marginal Marvin”? I remember equating those things with the little critter in _Pogo_ who was always commenting on nothing in particular. I can’t decide from the descriptions at [this page](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogo_(comics)#Cast_of_characters) what that little guy was called. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/10 "2014-01-06T19:11:35Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > This thread really should have little drawings by Sergio Aragones in the margins. And the last post should reveal a secret message when you fold it. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/11 "2014-01-06T19:14:35Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Was that “Marginal Marvin”? Marginal Marvin was before Sergio Aragones. Marvin was Proto-Seinfeld ruminations on the absurdities of then-modern life; Aragones does wordless cartoons (I gather from Wikipedia that he’s still contributing to this day). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/12 "2014-01-06T19:16:56Z")
I remember a regular subject in Mad was the way advertisers lie and mislead. I learned a lot about distrusting the media thanks to Mad magazine. Made it a bit weird when I picked up an issue years later to see that they’d started selling ad space. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/13 "2014-01-06T19:36:47Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I remember a regular subject in Mad was the way advertisers lie and mislead. I learned a lot about distrusting the media thanks to Mad magazine. Made it a bit weird when I picked up an issue years later to see that they’d started selling ad space. One of the great educational points I’ve always credited Mad for is that it taught me the words “ulterior motive.” As a trivia point, Mad did run advertising for a few issues early on, shortly after it switched from comic to magazine format. The ads were small and discreetly segregated onto a single column headed “Real Ads.” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/14 "2014-01-06T21:11:33Z")
“It’s crackers…snide” is British slang for “It’s crazy to pay off a cop in phoney money.” ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/15 "2014-01-06T22:03:42Z")
All I have to say on the subject is that the Black Spy kicks ass, and the White Spy sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/16 "2014-01-07T00:53:35Z")
“Blackhawwwwwwwwkaaaaaaaaaa” ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/17 "2014-01-07T00:57:39Z")
I liked the booklets as a kid but found the magazines tedious. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/18 "2014-01-07T01:23:47Z")
It stinks. The whole thing stinks. You stink. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/19 "2014-01-07T01:45:42Z")
Hanna’s original plan had been to extend the Baltimore & Ohio west to Honolulu. But before track laying had progressed more than two hundred miles west of San Francisco, the entire venture was abandoned as impractical. * * * VOID WHERE PROHIBITED But only if there is absolutely no toilet! * * * He joined the Communists to be different. Now he looks forward to the day when Communism takes over and makes everyone the same. Logic, logic. logic. * * * “Let’s do our little dance, kiddies…let’s have some music, Mr. Piano…don’t knock over Mr. Scenery…and don’t trip over Mr. Cable…” “What’s the matter, Freddy?” “I just threw up on Mr. Floor!” “Careful, boys and girls! Don’t step in Mr. Vomit!” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040/20 "2014-01-07T02:05:41Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > All I have to say on the subject is that the Black Spy kicks ass, and the White Spy sucks. The Gray Spy pwns them both. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-memories-and-useless-wisdom/678040.md?page=2)