# Mad Scientists: "They Peppered in God's Lo Mein" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 3, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067 "2003-07-03T16:57:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/1 "2003-07-03T16:57:56Z")
I was reading through capsule reviews of some old films, and one of them read, “A mad scientist puts the brain of an executed murderer into the body of a gorilla.” Now. Come. _On_. You just know that’s gotta end badly. What was he thinking? Putting the brain of an executed murder in the body of a _kitten_ would be a bad idea, but a _gorilla?_ So I got to thinking about other mad scientists, and each and every one of them suffered from the total inability to _think things through._ • Dr. Jekyll and the Invisible Man. Sure, test your untried, possibly deadly serum on yourself. _That’s_ a good idea. • Dr. Moreau. Create a race of half-beasts/half-humans, piss them off and _maroon yourself on an island with them._ • That _Brain that Would Not Die_ doctor. I can see the whole Jan-in-the-Pan idea; but the huge, distorted, angry monster kept behind a flimsy door in your basement? Nuh-uh. • Dr. Frankenstein. Send demented assistant to get brain. Don’t even check receipt. • Bela Lugosi in _Bride of the Monster_, talking about “creating a rice of pipple: atomic supermen to rule de vorld!” and all he manages to do is create one rubber octopus? Which winds up killing him? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/2 "2003-07-03T17:12:35Z")
**The Return of the Jedi.** Start work on a new Death Star to replace the one the rebels blew up, then, once the rebels find out where it is, go hang out on it. **Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.** Nuclear hand grenade. Think about it. Actually, most of the Tom Swift books involved the following sequence: 1. Tom invents a new thingy, usually a vehicle, usually nuclear-powered. 2. Tom decides to test the new thingy, usually by strapping himself into it and firing it up. 3. New thingy malfunctions and almost kills Tom and, usually, his best friend. 4. Tom fixes the malfunction and the thingy performs flawlessly from that point on. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/3 "2003-07-03T17:17:33Z")
Obviously, “Tom Swift” was an ironic nickname his friends gave him. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/4 "2003-07-03T17:47:47Z")
“I’ve dropped the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/5 "2003-07-03T17:48:27Z")
My favorite mad scientist is from Georges Franju’s _ **Eyes Without a Face** _, probably because his compassion and humanity make his cringe-worthy deeds that much more horrific. Although he doesn’t necessarily do anything stupid, he still would’ve been better off if he’d been nicer to those dogs. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/6 "2003-07-03T18:03:28Z")
Of course, then there’s also the classic “Big Switch that Destroys the Entire Laboratory”. Uh, why is that switch there in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/7 "2003-07-03T18:13:26Z")
Dr. No, Auric Goldfinger, etc. etc. etc. What, do these people never read newspapers? They don’t talk among themselves at the annual Mad Scientists Hell-Bent On World Domination Annual Convention? Does James Bond actually have that terrible a publicist? Come on, you guys. Get with the program! It really is quite simple. Bond. James Bond. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/8 "2003-07-03T21:16:54Z")
• **X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes** You’ve developed a serum/eyedrop solution that grants the user the ability to see through solid objects. The Rhesus monkies you’ve tested the drops on do indeed seem to develop “X-Ray vision”…but they all keel over and die within a few minutes of taking the drops. So, you decide to test the drops out on yourself. In both of your eyes. Now, I could understand using the drops if you were already blind, or something… I can even understand, if not condone, using the drops in ONE of your own eyes. But, _this_… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/9 "2003-07-03T21:33:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Dr. Jekyll and the Invisible Man. Sure, test your untried, possibly deadly serum on yourself. That’s a good idea. Ditto Norman Osborne. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/10 "2003-07-03T22:00:24Z")
I love **Doctor Gogol** the best, as portrayed by Peter Lorre in 1935’s _Mad Love_. First, sew the hands of an executed knife murderer onto a famous concert pianist. Attempt to drive him insane by dressing up as the decapitated knife murderer. Provide him with a knife. Now…try to strangle his wife! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/11 "2003-07-04T01:56:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Ditto Norman Osborne. \*\* In the film, Osbourne does try the formula on himself. In original comics however, he is working on a serum when it explodes violently. He ends up unconscious, breathing fumes and with the serum seeping into numerous cuts. Re The OP For the true Scientist, there are times you must be not just the experimenter but the experiment [EG](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3654418#post3654418) That being said. I am a firm believer in adequate safety precautions. If you’re building monsters you should have reinforced steel cages and triple redundancy saftey measures. Any mad scientist should have back up generators and those generators should have back ups. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/12 "2003-07-04T03:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I was reading through capsule reviews of some old films, and one of them read, “A mad scientist puts the brain of an executed murderer into the body of a gorilla.” Now. Come. _On_. You just know that’s gotta end badly. What was he thinking? Putting the brain of an executed murder in the body of a _kitten_ would be a bad idea, but a _gorilla?_ > \*\* This isn’t so far-fetched. Using the mind of an executed killer is obviously unwise but, from an anatomical and neurological standpoint, a human-to-animal cerebral transplant might have the greatest chance for success with a member of the ape family as recipient. The adult human brain has been hard-wired for walking upright and using the opposable thumb – hands are indeed a core factor in human intelligence and identity. Take such a hard-wired cortex and place it in an animal that goes about on four feet, and the brain might not even be able to adapt to controlling the body. That is what I told my colleagues, but they laughed. Laughed, I tell you! Now that I’m about to unleash my race of super beings, _we’ll see who’s laughing then!_ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/13 "2003-07-04T03:26:49Z")
Oh, _dear_, **Andy**. Are you creating a rice of pipple? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/14 "2003-07-04T05:59:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Oh, _dear_, **Andy**. Are you creating a rice of pipple? \*\* I had Rice of Pipple once. I had a sore stomach, and the store was all out of Tapioca. ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/15 "2003-07-04T06:54:47Z")
Rice of Pipple is Soylent Green!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/16 "2003-07-04T07:27:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*• Dr. Frankenstein. Send demented assistant to get brain. Don’t even check receipt. > \*\* Actually this did not happen in the book. He just got scared when the _very_ ugly thing woke up and chased it away. Then chose to go on with his life like it never happened. That was smart. ---
**Author:** ![hammos1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@hammos1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hammos1)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/17 "2003-07-04T09:32:19Z")
While we’re all here, anyone care to explain what the hell “They Peppered in God’s Lo Mein” means? ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/18 "2003-07-04T11:03:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hammos1 \* > \*\*While we’re all here, anyone care to explain what the hell “They Peppered in God’s Lo Mein” means? \*\* It’s a Mystery Science Theatre joke from _Bride of the Monster_. At the very end of the movie, a police officer observes of Bela Lugosi’s mad scientist, “He tampered in God’s Domain,” but says it in such a indistinct mumble that Joel and the `bots are not certain what the heck he said. They interpret the line as “They Peppered in God’s Lo Mein.” “Rice of pipple” comes from the same MST’d movie, based on Bela’s pronunication of “race of people.” For sheer mad-scientist goofiness, my personal favorite would be the tiny people Dr. Pretorius creates in _Bride of Frankenstein_ and keeps in mason jars. Think of marketing potential; who wouldn’t want their very own minature Henry VIII? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/19 "2003-07-04T11:50:56Z")
A true story for those who think this kind of behavior is only fictional. Back in the 1970’s a biologist was studying some of the genetic causes of cancer. He had isolated a gene that he believed caused cancer in humans. In order to have a ready supply of it, he planned on splicing it into an E. Coli bacteria colony in his lab. Before he actually did so however, he attended a conference where he mentioned his plans to another biologist. The other scientist was shocked and pointed out how taking one of the commonest bacterias in the human body and breeding a cancer causing gene into might be a triflingly bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/20 "2003-07-04T14:46:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Nemo \* > \*\*A true story for those who think this kind of behavior is only fictional. Back in the 1970’s a biologist was studying some of the genetic causes of cancer. He had isolated a gene that he believed caused cancer in humans. In order to have a ready supply of it, he planned on splicing it into an E. Coli bacteria colony in his lab. Before he actually did so however, he attended a conference where he mentioned his plans to another biologist. The other scientist was shocked and pointed out how taking one of the commonest bacterias in the human body and breeding a cancer causing gene into might be a triflingly bad idea. \*\* You know, I’m quite sure this is done daily in biological research labs around the world. Heck, a bacteria with an oncogene would be harmless. It just means that the _bacteria_ might be prone to cancer (or uncntrolled division, since it’s single celled) than wild-type cells. A virus (which could transfer the oncogene to the host) could be more dangerous, but not more so really than the hundreds of carcinogenic chemicals routinely kept in labs. Be careful and you’ll be fine. I’m working with potentially oncogenic viruses right now, actually. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067.md?page=2)