# Mad Scientists: "They Peppered in God's Lo Mein" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 3, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067 "2003-07-03T16:57:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/21 "2003-07-05T03:51:48Z")
I can look up the cite if I have to(OTOMH it’s mentioned in Panatti’s Extraordinary Endings Of Practically Everything And Everybody.) The doctor who introduced leeches as the perfect tool to balance the body’s humors had students. One of those students had a disagreement with those fools who maintained that some kind of invisible germ caused illnesses like syphilis. So he infected himself with syphilitic pus in front of an audience. Why worry? The oozing lesions were just a symptom of the imbalance in the humors, nothing some leeches couldn’t cure. Naturally, the leeches were no help. The student lost all faith in bleeding and killed himself about two weeks later. LSD- I admit that I have never heard a firsthand account of this story and that it may be a UL. A chemist named Hoffman was attempting to create a drug for the treatment of migraines by synthesizing ergotimine. He experienced some minor effects after getting a few drops of one experimental batch in a cut. He later deliberately ingested some and became the first man to drop acid. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/22 "2003-07-05T04:03:50Z")
Well, you know, in the past it was considered the only ehtical course of events to use yourself as a test subject for anything really dangerous, rather than trying to find some innocent volunteer to experiment on. But using both eyes is still dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/23 "2003-07-05T05:05:47Z")
In the Roger Corman stinker “Terminal Virus” a military engineered virus that makes sexual intercourse between men and women instantly fatal to both parties. Result – birth rate drops to zero and men and women live in separate enclaves. Young mad scientist invents cure. Kidnaps man and woman to test it on. Gives them the cure, then chains them by one ankle and leaves them alone in a room to test the serum by making love. So what happens? The man escapes successfully, the woman tries to escape but is caught. Well, DUH! ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/24 "2003-07-05T05:27:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Oh, _dear_, **Andy**. Are you creating a rice of pipple? \*\* Hah. I have trouble making rice pilaf. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/25 "2003-07-05T18:02:22Z")
I would have loved to have become a mad scientist if my guidance counselors had ever mentioned it as a career option. It’s a shame that there don’t seem to be any mad scientists in real life. I mean, there have been scientists who might have been mentally ill, like Nikola Tesla, but the scientist who tries to conquer the world with his homemade superweapons does not exist outside of comic books, etc. In real life, scientists who can make superweapons usually seem to wind up employed by persons who are not nearly as smart as they are, but much more rich and powerful, and who have their own agendas. I mean, just imagine you’re a real-life mad scientist. You have worked all the bugs out of cloning, and now you’re going to create an army of gene-engineered, mindlessly obedient supersoldiers, and conquer the world! Only . . . where are you going to get funding for the project? Only a government has that kind of money! You’ll have to sign up with Saddam Hussein, or somebody like him . . . and then, when you finally produce your army of slave clones, it’s not **your** army, it’s your boss’s army! ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/26 "2003-07-05T18:11:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BadBaby \* > \*\*Rice of Pipple is Soylent Green!:eek: \*\* [Charlton] **Soylent Green is a MOVIE! It’s A MOVIE!** [/Charlton] ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/27 "2003-07-06T04:36:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrainGlutton \* > \*\*I mean, just imagine you’re a real-life mad scientist. You have worked all the bugs out of cloning, and now you’re going to create an army of gene-engineered, mindlessly obedient supersoldiers, and conquer the world! Only . . . where are you going to get funding for the project? Only a government has that kind of money! You’ll have to sign up with Saddam Hussein, or somebody like him . . . and then, when you finally produce your army of slave clones, it’s not **your** army, it’s your boss’s army! \*\* Good point. But if you’re a mad scientist – not you in particular, **BrainGlutton,** I use the phrase merely in a rhetorical sense. If you are a mad scientist capable of thinking up something truly world-threating, you must be a bright person with many, many ideas. In that case, you could patent and sell many of your other inventions in order to fund your world-dominating goal. If you are particularly sadistic, you could invent things designed to incapacitate the populace and make them ripe for takover. Or you could invent things to torment and distract them. Come to think of it, this would be a likely explanation for rap music. Other things that I suspect are part of this plan: [ul] [li]SUVs[/li][li]Jet-engine-level car stereos[/li][li]Xerox machines[/li][li]That European game where they kick a ball around[/li][li]_Fans_ of the European game who kick each other around.[/li][li]Cinemax[/li][li]Howard Stern[/li][li]Friggin’ pixilation on Howard Stern[/li][li]Needing three remotes to watch one DVD.[/li][li]Toll booths[/li][li]After-market auto customizing[/li][li]Pickup trucks with _spoilers_[/li][li]The latest slang[/li][li]Older slang[/li][li]Daytime TV[/li][li]Nighttime TV[/li][li]Slooooooooooow message boards.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/28 "2003-07-06T05:23:06Z")
**BrainGlutton** - [Mad Scientists Among Us](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=7382) and [Have there been any Mad Scientists?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43425&highlight=scientists) Your humble servant, Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/29 "2003-07-07T13:20:39Z")
Speaking of **Soylent Green** –They didn’t realize it when they made the movie, but now that we know more about things like Mad Cow disease, this is actually a pretty bad idea… ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/30 "2003-07-07T15:27:50Z")
And it was a good idea before that? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/31 "2003-07-07T15:45:10Z")
“LSD- I admit that I have never heard a firsthand account of this story and that it may be a UL. A chemist named Hoffman was attempting to create a drug for the treatment of migraines by synthesizing ergotimine. He experienced some minor effects after getting a few drops of one experimental batch in a cut. He later deliberately ingested some and became the first man to drop acid.” Sort of. Albert Hoffman did discover LSD-25 (it was his 25th attempt at islolating the drug and I believe his was working for the Sandoz pharmaceutical company in Switzerland at the time), but it didn’t get into a cut - he just got some on his finger and then accidentally injested it. You can read all about it in his book “My Problem Child” or you can read Jay Stevens book “Storming Heaven.” In fact, I think you can find the first couple of chapters of Hoffman’s book on-line. He had quite a bicycle ride home that first day. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/32 "2003-07-07T19:09:40Z")
\*\*Plnnr \*\* Hmm, Morrison probably did tell the story accurately and have Hoffman just get some on his finger. I haven’t read it in a while. I had assumed that the bike was Morrison’s creation. One of the characters reveals that it is imbued with the mindwarping, reality bending essence of the world’s first LSD trip. Mr Nobody incorporates the bike into a bus’ engine for maximum effect. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/33 "2003-07-07T19:58:30Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* \*\*Or you could invent things to torment and distract them. Come to think of it, this would be a likely explanation for rap music. Other things that I suspect are part of this plan:[ul][li]SUVs[/li][li]Jet-engine-level car stereos[/li][li]Xerox machines[/ul] \*\*[/li][/QUOTE] Wait a minute … _Xerox_ machines? As in photocopying machines? How the hack to **they** make everyone’s life more miserable? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/34 "2003-07-08T05:35:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Wait a minute … _Xerox_ machines? As in photocopying machines? How the hack to **they** make everyone’s life more miserable? \*\* I was thinking of [Boxes of Random Evil.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=188359) ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/35 "2003-07-08T07:10:47Z")
By now, you may have seen the announcement of the process that can turn anything organic into fairly high grade diesel fuel with 85% efficiency. So, Chuck’s famous line could very well become “High octane is made of people!” ---
**Author:** ![Trjckster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Trjckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trjckster)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/36 "2003-07-08T10:21:06Z")
What about professor Robert White, he is into [monkey head transplants](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1263758.stm), hoping to graduate to people soon enough. Personnally, I’m not with the torch bearing/pitchfork waving mob on this one and I wish him luck. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/37 "2003-07-08T20:04:31Z")
**Trjckster** —Agreed. I’d be first in line to help pour boiling oil over the castle ramparts onto the raving mob below, in order to buy enough time for the doctor to finish his work. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/38 "2003-07-08T21:07:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > \*\*In the film, Osbourne does try the formula on himself. In original comics however, he is working on a serum when it explodes violently. He ends up unconscious, breathing fumes and with the serum seeping into numerous cuts. > \*\* His last name is Osborn. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067/39 "2003-07-08T21:52:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrBoy1967 \* > **By now, you may have seen the announcement of the process that can turn anything organic into fairly high grade diesel fuel with 85% efficiency.** [The people hawking this process](http://www.changingworldtech.com/) seem to be blowing smoke out of their rears in an attempt to attract investors. I doubt their process will be anywhere near 1/100 as good as they’re making it sound. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mad-scientists-they-peppered-in-gods-lo-mein/186067.md?page=1)