# Madonna declares herself an ambassador for Judaism **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438 "2007-09-17T00:21:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/41 "2007-09-17T19:32:33Z")
[QUOTE=MsRobyn] Dear Catholic Church: You can have Madonna back. We don’t want her anymore. Love, Judaism [/QUOTE] Dear Judaism: Sorry, you touched her last. She’s all yours now. Love, Pope Benny ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/42 "2007-09-17T19:44:55Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] I guess personally, I’m just trying to straddle the line between people who follow every detail of every celebrity’s life because they assume famous=important, and those who dismiss everything to do with performers because they must be attention whores and completely insincere. I highly doubt I am going to convince anyone who doesn’t already believe that Madonna’s work has value and relevance. That would be just about as probable as convincing me that Nickelback’s work is worthy of being taken with artistic consideration. I just thought I’d throw the opposing viewpoint out there for consideration’s sake, since a lot of people who dislike Madonna aren’t really familiar with the personal context of her work or how many self-perceived emotional risks she has consistently taken with it. OTOH, you either like it or you don’t. YMMV indeed. [/QUOTE] I don’t lump all of Hollywood or music in the attention whore category. But Madonna? She’s Queen of attention whores in my book. I don’t see her as taking emotional risks–I see her as making shrewd PR moves. I don’t buy her schtick. (who is Nickelback–maybe I don’t want to know!) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/43 "2007-09-17T19:53:45Z")
[QUOTE=jsc1953] Dear Judaism: Sorry, you touched her last. She’s all yours now. Love, Pope Benny [/QUOTE] To His Holiness the Pope & Bishop of Rome, etc., On our honor, we never touched her, she touched us! Inadvertant contact is simple enough to dispense or purify (as you know as part of your job), so we don’t have to keep her. Tell you what - if you and us can come to some agreement here, we’ll forgive you for that, ah, forced indiscretion of your youth. Perhaps can we team up and foist her on a Movementarian commune somewhere? Warmest regards, ~ Judaism ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/44 "2007-09-17T20:14:04Z")
She is Ambassador for Judiasm to Atlantis. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/45 "2007-09-17T20:18:20Z")
[QUOTE=Scuba\_Ben] To His Holiness the Pope & Bishop of Rome, etc., On our honor, we never touched her, she touched us! Inadvertant contact is simple enough to dispense or purify (as you know as part of your job), so we don’t have to keep her. Tell you what - if you and us can come to some agreement here, we’ll forgive you for that, ah, forced indiscretion of your youth. Perhaps can we team up and foist her on a Movementarian commune somewhere? Warmest regards, ~ Judaism [/QUOTE] Dear Judaism, Sorry, we had her for twenty years, and just couldn’t take it any more. We had to get rid of her before she embarassed us any further. We are looking forward to her video based on Psalm 137, though. y’r ob’d’t, ex-Catholicism. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/46 "2007-09-17T20:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > (who is Nickelback–maybe I don’t want to know!) A lousy rock band. I direct you to the YouTube video for one of their most regrettable songs, [Photograph](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohOKiLHEYjE). Honestly, I understand what you mean about age affecting your approach to music. Stuff I used to find unbelievably profound in high school now makes me :rolleyes:, as do today’s rock hits that seem oh-so-latent with melodrama. See above for good example. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/47 "2007-09-17T20:53:53Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] Dear Judaism, Sorry, we had her for twenty years, and just couldn’t take it any more. We had to get rid of her before she embarassed us any further. We are looking forward to her video based on Psalm 137, though. y’r ob’d’t, ex-Catholicism. [/QUOTE] Dear Catholicism, While we certainly understand the sentiment, must you have foisted her on us? Were there no other religions to choose from? I understand the Baha’i, for instance, are welcoming new applicants. Respectfully, Judaism. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/48 "2007-09-17T21:52:16Z")
Dear Judaism and Catholicism, May we suggest a solution to your troubles? Simply put, we will accept Madonna into our bosom, taking her off your hands and into our pockets. By the way, when was the last time either of you have had an audit? Are you a slow eater? Sincerely, $cientology ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/49 "2007-09-17T22:03:22Z")
[QUOTE=Ghanima] Dear Judaism and Catholicism, May we suggest a solution to your troubles? Simply put, we will accept Madonna into our bosom, taking her off your hands and into our pockets. By the way, when was the last time either of you have had an audit? Are you a slow eater? Sincerely, $cientology [/QUOTE] _pounds gavel_ _Sold_, to the cult in the brown suit! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/50 "2007-09-17T22:05:49Z")
[Reverend Lovejoy] _Madonna, have you considered another religion? They’re pretty much all the same…_ [/RL] ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/51 "2007-09-17T23:12:54Z")
There are people in Tel Aviv, tonight, who are wondering if the PLO takes requests. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/52 "2007-09-18T00:03:36Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] There are people in Tel Aviv, tonight, who are wondering if the PLO takes requests. [/QUOTE] _The king called up his jet fighters He said you better earn your pay Drop your bombs between the [minarets](http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/NR/rdonlyres/9CAAE5A3-95C9-4A4D-B958-125A15F5A1B0/55852/madonna_1990_body1.jpg) Down the casbah way…_ ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/53 "2007-09-18T00:06:55Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] _The king called up his jet fighters He said you better earn your pay Drop your bombs between the [minarets](http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/NR/rdonlyres/9CAAE5A3-95C9-4A4D-B958-125A15F5A1B0/55852/madonna_1990_body1.jpg) Down the casbah way…_ [/QUOTE] I don’t know about bombs, but I gotta rocket I wouldn’t mind dropping between those minarets, down the casbah way. Or, hell, up the Casbah way. I ain’t choosy. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/54 "2007-09-18T00:26:46Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] I don’t know about bombs, but I gotta rocket I wouldn’t mind dropping between those minarets, down the casbah way. Or, hell, up the Casbah way. I ain’t choosy. [/QUOTE] I’ll call McDonalds to have them [change the sign](http://www.brandi.org/photos/27march2004/CRW_1633.jpg)… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/55 "2007-09-18T00:38:54Z")
This is all a mistake. Madonna declared herself an ambassador for Jude Law – thet papers got it all wrong. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/56 "2007-09-18T02:12:20Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] A lousy rock band. I direct you to the YouTube video for one of their most regrettable songs, [Photograph](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohOKiLHEYjE). Honestly, I understand what you mean about age affecting your approach to music. Stuff I used to find unbelievably profound in high school now makes me :rolleyes:, as do today’s rock hits that seem oh-so-latent with melodrama. See above for good example. [/QUOTE] Madonna became a star when I was in high school! I rest my case… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/57 "2007-09-18T06:25:08Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I think the Song of Solomon doesn’t either. [/QUOTE] Debatable- Song of Solomon 8:6. Depends if how one translates “shalhebetyaah” as “vehement flame” or “flame of Yah”. – Transliterated Hebrew Song of Solomon 8:6 siymeeniy kaxowtaam `al-libekaa kaxowtaam `al-zrow`ekaa kiy-`azaah kamaawet 'ahabaah qaashaah kish’owl qin’aah rshaapeyhaa rishpeey 'eesh shalhebetyaah. – King James Song of Solomon 8:6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. – American Standard Song of Solomon 8:6 Set me as a seal upon thy heart, As a seal upon thine arm: For love is strong as death; Jealousy is cruel as Sheol; The flashes thereof are flashes of fire, A very flame of Jehovah. – New International Song of Solomon 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/58 "2007-09-18T14:32:44Z")
An anecdote I read. Jerry Seinfeld was in a NYC restaurant and Madonna was sitting at the next table. Seinfeld’s wife showed up and apologized for being late. Madonna leaned over and said that if she had the power of Kabbalah into her life, she’d never be late for anything again. Seinfeld said, “Why is that Madonna? Did they add a Kabbalah lane in the Lincoln Tunnel?” ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/59 "2007-09-18T15:14:07Z")
And no, us Wiccans don’t want her either. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438/60 "2007-09-18T15:14:54Z")
(pst, **Alessan** , that was signed EX-Catholicism) Madonna is too intelligent to become a $cientologist. She’ll do lots of things to get money… not to let someone leech it from her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonna-declares-herself-an-ambassador-for-judaism/419438.md?page=4)