# Madonna's "Sex" book - My God, it's TERRIBLE! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462 "2002-06-22T17:01:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/1 "2002-06-22T17:01:13Z")
I found a website that has every single page from “Sex” posted, so I went through the entire book, one page at a time. When I was done, I sat back and just shook my head. I was not the least bit scandalized. If I had been, then at least the book would’ve generated some interest. But what’s so remarkable about a bunch of medium quality BDSM shots? Madonna shows her tits a lot, but there is never any sex actually depicted, odd for a book entitled “Sex.” Sprinkled throughout are some X-rated letters from “Dita” to her boyfriend, “Johnny.” I’ve seen letters to Penthouse that were better written, seriously. In fact, _any_ issue of Penthouse from the last 10 years is better written and more arousing than this entire book. I didn’t actually start this thread to bash Madonna, but if this book is a genuine reflection of her sex life, I just have to say she really lacks depth. If anything, this schlock just proved to me what an incredible opportunist she is. I guess she’s “daring” and “pushes the envelope,” but not so far that she can’t be mass produced for distribution to Waldenbooks and Barnes & Noble. The book was not the least bit erotic, arousing, sexy, interesting, or noteworthy. Geez. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/2 "2002-06-22T17:15:33Z")
I don’t know your age but back when the book came out, Madonna was huge; arguably the most famous woman in the world. So when she decided to put out a book of nude pictures and erotic stories, it was approximately the equivalent of Britney Spears and Jennifer Aniston deciding to pose for a lesbian pictorial in Penthouse. Nowadays of course, Madonna is still well known but has fallen far from the heights she once held. This may be due in part to overexposure such as her Sex book and her inability to keep finding new limits to go past. As Rosie O’Donnell told her in _A League of Their Own_, “Do you think there’s anyone who hasn’t seen your bosoms?” ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/3 "2002-06-22T17:18:50Z")
Her new movie isn’t much good either. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/4 "2002-06-22T17:35:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Nemo \* > \*\*I don’t know your age but back when the book came out, Madonna was huge; arguably the most famous woman in the world. So when she decided to put out a book of nude pictures and erotic stories, it was approximately the equivalent of Britney Spears and Jennifer Aniston deciding to pose for a lesbian pictorial in Penthouse. > \*\* I’m almost 26, and I well remember the commotion over “Sex” when it came out. But upon looking at it, I’m not sure why anyone cared. Your tongue in cheek example of a lesbian spread is not a good comparison, since there is no actual sex in this book. And nude photos of Madonna had already been published years earlier in both Playboy and Penthouse. It was my understanding, then and now, that the commotion over this book was because it was perceived as “kinky.” After looking at it, I can’t believe anyone ever really thought so enough to get worked up about it. It is very, very, tame. Even in 1992 you could buy stuff trashier than this in any bookstore at your neighborhood shopping mall. And it cost what, $75? If I had paid that much for it even today I’d feel really ripped off. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/5 "2002-06-22T18:11:30Z")
Did you like Madonna to begin with? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/6 "2002-06-22T18:14:33Z")
The book cost $49.99, as I recall, and came in a mylar pouch that prevented bookstore browsers from flipping through the pages and finding out just how over-rated the thing was. If nothing else, it was a triumph of marketing. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/7 "2002-06-22T18:42:00Z")
Fifty dollars for a book? Fifty dollars for a book by Madonna? Ye gods…My head is still spinning a la The Exorcist… ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/8 "2002-06-22T18:54:52Z")
Holy shit…fifty dollars. There were \*HOW[/] many copies of that book made? ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/9 "2002-06-22T18:56:06Z")
Forgive meeeeee…I am coding-incompatable… ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/10 "2002-06-22T18:56:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*Did you like Madonna to begin with? \*\* Actually, yes! I have her Greatest Hits (the Immaculate Collection), I think “Express Yourself” is one of the all-time great vides, and “Live to Tell” is one of my favorite songs. ---
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/11 "2002-06-22T19:38:06Z")
With a “band” name like Madonna, and a first big hit of “like a virgin”, I think a book with bare Madonna boobs was just a matter of time. I’ve not seen the entire book, just pages and a few pictures. I have to agree, Madonna must be boring in bed if that reflects her sex life. BTW, after seeing her naked, she’s the LAST person I want to see naked again next to Barbara Bush. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/12 "2002-06-22T19:38:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Fifty dollars for a book? Fifty dollars for a book by Madonna? Ye gods…My head is still spinning a la The Exorcist… \*\* $50 is nothin’…I’ve spent over a hundred for a freaking _dinosaur_ book! Of course, dinosaurs are more interesting than Madonna… ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/13 "2002-06-22T19:47:14Z")
I thought Madonna WAS a dinosaur. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/14 "2002-06-22T20:33:57Z")
Dieter, Madonna is actually her real name. On her birth certificate and everything. That doesn’t make the book or her crappy music suck any less, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/15 "2002-06-22T21:05:33Z")
Hey, don’t forget it has a steel cover. Ya pays for da quality, son. I got mine for $15 about 10 years ago. A pal of mine picked it up and called me a week later saying it was rotting his soul and did I want to buy it off him. I had $15 in my pocket and he took it. Now it’s WAY up there on that top shelf with my Omaha the Cat Dancer comics. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/16 "2002-06-22T21:41:39Z")
I had this nursing student friend who was a big Madonna fan. Right after Sex came out I was over at her place smoking pot. There were three or four of us passing around the bong, Madonna’s book, and a textbook filled with photographs of different horrible kinds of trauma, like ax wounds and severed limbs and shit. I haven’t really been attracted to Madonna since then. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/17 "2002-06-23T00:00:02Z")
Once again, people have missed the forest for the trees. The book was a masterstroke of timing in terms of generating publicity for Madonna’s Erotica album. It is also one of the few “explicit” books to hit #1 on the NYTimes besteller list. Unfortunately for Madonna, the publicy for both the book and the album very quickly turned bad and ugly, but Madonna being Madonna she managed to get through it all fairly well. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/18 "2002-06-23T00:15:00Z")
I like Madonna-I like her music, and I have the Immaculate Collection. That said, I think she way overexposed herself on that one. Hehehehe…no pun intended. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/19 "2002-06-23T00:58:15Z")
I remember that one picture of her straddling the dog. :eek: Was bestiality implied? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462/20 "2002-06-23T01:27:07Z")
I recall a tasty pic of her hitchhiking nude, and looking pretty hot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/madonnas-sex-book-my-god-its-terrible/115462.md?page=2)