# Mafia: Evil Dead - Signups and Night Zero **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 11, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736 "2008-12-11T17:51:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/161 "2008-12-17T23:30:26Z")
> [@Rapier42](#): > > Prehensile colons are far funnier than pee-emitting colons. Thats just gross. I think we need to wait for **buffers** to weigh in on this to reach a definitive conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Rapier42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/90db22/32.png) [@Rapier42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapier42)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/162 "2008-12-17T23:39:40Z")
She takes her butt-pee kinda serious-like… she might be offended by all the joking. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/163 "2008-12-17T23:39:57Z")
How about a pronoun/gender check? Total Lost - f brewha - m Rapier42 - m Hockey Monkey - f Blaster Master - m Almost Human - m Chucara - m Hal Briston - m Pleonast - m mhaye - m JSexton - m Thing Fish - m? CometotheDarkSideWeHaveCookies - f hawkeyeop - m pedescribe - m NAF1138 - m Millit the Frail - m bufftabby - f Natlaw - ? amrussel - m Diggitcamara - m macey - ? peekercpa - m Nanook of the North Shore - m Zeriel - m special ed - m Polydeuces - ? All you womenfolk out there lurking, toss your hat in the next game and help even things out! ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/164 "2008-12-17T23:59:18Z")
> [@Rapier42](#): > > She takes her butt-pee kinda serious-like… she might be offended by all the joking. You have offended my honor. There is only one course of action available to redress that wrong: pee in my butt. Pretty please, with a moist towelette on top? I’m serious about trying to cut down on fluff. Y’all are just a bunch of damn enablers. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/165 "2008-12-18T00:01:14Z")
psst… **cookies** … **Almost Human** is very female. And **macey** (Hi DOM!) is male. ---
**Author:** ![Rapier42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/90db22/32.png) [@Rapier42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapier42)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/166 "2008-12-18T00:14:48Z")
> [@bufftabby](#): > > You have offended my honor. There is only one course of action available to redress that wrong: pee in my butt. Pretty please, with a moist towelette on top? > > I’m serious about trying to cut down on fluff. Y’all are just a bunch of damn enablers. No can do, I can’t pee with a woody. Hurts like _hell_. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/167 "2008-12-18T00:18:49Z")
Sorry **AH**! I swear I knew that… ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/168 "2008-12-18T00:43:18Z")
Nope! Female here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Thing\_Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@Thing\_Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing_Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/169 "2008-12-18T00:54:40Z")
Hi everyone. As far as the randomness idea, I like Pleo’s concept. Since we have this time for discussion in which we know nobody has scummy motives, I would like to discuss an idea I have been considering. I am thinking about selecting a small group of players at random, say 4-5 (whose names I would not reveal), and resolving to vote for one of them on Day One (barring the unlikely event that someone else lets some massive scumtell drop). The idea would be that it would allow me to sift through the huge mass of Day One postings and focus in carefully on a few people, at least one of whom would be statistically likely to be scum. It seems like this might be a good way to make the early part of the game more manageable and give me a better chance of identifying scummitude. What do people think of this technique? On a related note, maybe some of the vets would like to weigh in on the topic of random voting. I did it in Doperville (my first game) because I had the idea it was expected, and it, um, didn’t go very well. My impression is that some have said one should vote randomly early, but then move the vote to someone you have real suspicion of well before the end of Day One. My problem with that is, I never seem to have real suspicion of anyone on Day One. If you are going to end up voting based on some vague hint of a ping anyway, why preface it with a random vote? Conversely, if you are going to place a random vote, why should you feel bound to move it until someone else actually strikes you as legitimately suspicious, even if that isn’t on Day One? Could someone enlighten me on the theory of how this is supposed to be pro-Town? ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/170 "2008-12-18T00:57:32Z")
> [@Thing\_Fish](#): > > My impression is that some have said one should vote randomly early, but then move the vote to someone you have real suspicion of well before the end of Day One. My problem with that is, I never seem to have real suspicion of anyone on Day One. If you are going to end up voting based on some vague hint of a ping anyway, why preface it with a random vote? Conversely, if you are going to place a random vote, why should you feel bound to move it until someone else actually strikes you as legitimately suspicious, even if that isn’t on Day One? Could someone enlighten me on the theory of how this is supposed to be pro-Town? I would love to. But I can’t. BlaM? You around? This is your deal isn’t it? It’s never made sense to me to do random Day 1 voting. I think that there is more information to be had from vote analysis of a true attempt at a good lynch on Day 1, and while I agree that random voting may spur discussion, I don’t necessarilly think it spurs discussion of any real quality. So, my unbiased $.02 on that subject. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/171 "2008-12-18T01:23:26Z")
Hey, just to keep the talk talking while I clean up the braciola and get down to business, I will post the vanilla Townie PMs. Yeah, I said PM_s_. There’s this one: * * * Welcome to the game; you are an **Alpha Redshirt** **ALIGNMENT:** Town **GENERIC:** Vanilla **WIN CONDITION:** All Deadites have been vanquished. **BACKGROUND:** Every horror movie needs a collection of characters whose only purpose is to die, sometimes horribly, as they help the hero toward his/her goal of standing alone atop a pile of dead demons. Ever since the dying started, you’ve had a sneaking suspicion that you might just be one of those characters… a suspicion that is not at all ameliorated by the fact that, by blind coincidence, you happen to be wearing a nice, cheery red shirt. Your life expectancy is limited, and you have no special powers, abilities, or knowledge relevant to the situation at hand. Still, only the darkest of horror movies end with _all_ the tertiary characters dead: you’ll just have to hope this is _Scream_ and not _Alien_. One important note. There are two kinds of redshirts in this world: the Alphas and the Betas. The Alphas are the jocks, the student council presidents, the drunken frat boys, the head cheerleaders, the hard-ass authority figures, and so on. The Betas are the others: the smart kids, the computer geeks, the stoners, the well-meaning but ineffectual parental figures, the creepy loners, and so on. You are an Alpha. You have no idea if this is a distinction with a difference, but it’s something to keep in mind all the same. **POWERS:** 1. You have no special powers or abilities, other than your intellect and persuasive ability. Good luck, and try not to die out there. * * * And then there’s this one: Welcome to the game; you are a **Beta Redshirt** **ALIGNMENT:** Town **GENERIC:** Vanilla **WIN CONDITION:** All Deadites have been vanquished. **BACKGROUND:** Every horror movie needs a collection of characters whose only purpose is to die, sometimes horribly, as they help the hero toward his/her goal of standing alone atop a pile of dead demons. Ever since the dying started, you’ve had a sneaking suspicion that you might just be one of those characters… a suspicion that is not at all ameliorated by the fact that, by blind coincidence, you happen to be wearing a nice, cheery red shirt. Your life expectancy is limited, and you have no special powers, abilities, or knowledge relevant to the situation at hand. Still, only the darkest of horror movies end with _all_ the tertiary characters dead: you’ll just have to hope this is _Scream_ and not _Alien_. One important note. There are two kinds of redshirts in this world: the Alphas and the Betas. The Alphas are the jocks, the student council presidents, the drunken frat boys, the head cheerleaders, the hard-ass authority figures, and so on. The Betas are the others: the smart kids, the computer geeks, the stoners, the well-meaning but ineffectual parental figures, the creepy loners, and so on. You are a Beta. You have no idea if this is a distinction with a difference, but it’s something to keep in mind all the same. **POWERS:** 1. You have no special powers or abilities, other than your intellect and persuasive ability. Good luck, and try not to die out there. ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/172 "2008-12-18T01:58:08Z")
Uh oh. Sounds like a fraterniy/sorrority thing. My fraternity college experience didn’t have a real positive impact on me. After the **Hal** it got better. But that was definitely a low point. If it could have been just a Foster **Silence of the Lambs** it would have been one thing but the **Frenzied Bleating of the Lambs** still resonates. Also this “gentle as a lamb” is hooey. Those sumguns kick like a mofo and their hooves are sharp. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/173 "2008-12-18T03:09:39Z")
**EST. A SECLUDED CABIN IN THE WOODS - NIGHT** **EXT CABIN DOOR - NIGHT** _After a second or two, the door opens. SOME BIMBO (Jennifer Love Hewitt) leans out, raises an eyebrow. From behind her we hear the raucous SOUNDS OF PARTYING - laughter, Tears for Fears on the radio, and now and then a bit of vomiting. The BIMBO looks confused, which let’s face it, is not all that surprising, for her._ BIMBO Hello? _Nothing. She looks around again. There is a rustle in the bushes! She looks - but it’s just a cat. The BIMBO shrugs and turns to go inside, but then, just as she’s nearly out of sight, we hear an EVIL VOICE._ VOICE Join us!!! BIMBO Hello? VOICE Join us!!! BIMBO I told you, Vince, I’m not interested in a threesome. VOICE (sighs) BIMBO _Is_ that you, Vince? VOICE (sudden change is tone, like a Frat boy) Uh, yeah, uh, it’s Vince. Uh, yo. Come on down into the trees. We’ll, uh, go steady and stuff. _THE BIMBO hesitates. As she thinks it over, she bends over, and the camera does a slow zoom on her cleavage for no particular reason. She turns to the cat._ BIMBO Well, Kitty, it’s like my mom always says. When you’re in an old abandoned cabin in the woods at a sorority spring break party, and you hear a strange and evil voice in the trees that suddenly morphs into the voice of your boyfriend, inviting you to leave the warm, well-lit party and go into the darkness beyond the trees, where no one could ever hear you scream, there’s only one thing to do. Strip to your bra and panties and run into the trees alone. _She does._ BIMBO Hello? Vince? Anyone? Anyone here? _She is lost. Close on a tree branch, swaying ominously in the suddenly, improbably brisk breeze._ BIMBO (a very small voice) Hello? VOICE (loud) JOIN USSSSSSSS!!! \*The trees assault her. She screams in terror as the branches wrap around her. Close on her mouth, open to scream again, as a leafy branch wraps itself around her head, muffling her voice. CLOSE ON THE BIMBO’S BULGING EYES, THEN CUT TO:\* **EXT - THE WOODS - DAY** _We see three figures, two frat boy types and a snarky cheerleader type, looking down at the camera. Cut to a shot over their shoulder. The BIMBO is pinned against a tree, quite dead, pierced through the heart with a particularly sharp branch._ HOOPY FROOD Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “getting wood.” (laughs) CHERYL THE CHEERLEADER Hoopy, how can you? HOOPY FROOD Oh, come on, Cheryl, it’s just a joke. CHERYL Well, it’s not very funny. HOOPY FROOD Well maybe you’ll gain an appreciation for puns, when I - (voice suddenly guttural) Swallow your soul! _Close on HOOPY. His face has been transformed into the hideous visage of a Deadite: fangs, bad complexion, the whole nine yards. He lunges at CHERYL, and they tumble to the ground. Chaos, screaming, crosstalk. The gathered partygoers pull HOOPY off CHERYL, who is bleeding._ SOME GUY What’s wrong with his face? SOME OTHER GUY He’s a fucking demon, dude! SOME GIRL Eeew! SOME OTHER GIRL Don’t be such a baby, Crystal. SOME GUY What do we do? SOME OTHER GIRL Throw him in the cornfield! \*Everyone stops. They look at SOME OTHER GIRL. She motions with her head. CUT TO: A SHOT OF A CORNFIELD, JUST BEYOND THE WOODS, STALKS SWAYING OMINOUSLY. The shouting resumes. They drag HOOPY FROOD to the edge of the cornfield, and shove him in. The stalks close around him. After a moment, we hear a bloodcurdling scream, and then a small pink towel - all that remains of HOOPY - flies out of the cornfield and toward the camera. CUT TO:\* SOME GUY What the hell was that? * * * The game has now officially begun. Beginning with this post, all color counts. PMs will begin going out immediately following this post; please confirm receipt of your PM by return PM. Confirm in the thread if you wish, but return PM as well. Game discussion may continue, but be advised: a player may receive his/her alignment at any time. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/174 "2008-12-18T03:32:09Z")
Aaah! First post and I’m already confused! So, is Hoopy still in the game? Who was Cheryl? Or Vince? What does the cornfield mean? And what’s a deadite? ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/175 "2008-12-18T03:39:26Z")
Hoopy was a special guest star, and is not playing. ---
**Author:** ![Rapier42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/90db22/32.png) [@Rapier42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapier42)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/176 "2008-12-18T03:51:18Z")
> [@](#): > > … and then a small pink towel… Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/177 "2008-12-18T03:55:21Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#): > > Hoopy was a special guest star, and is not playing. Oh yeah. Got my PM…looks pretty cool. I wonder about how the color is significant though. I have no famililratiy with evil dead, so I’m in the dark here. Is there anything I’m missing? ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/178 "2008-12-18T03:57:59Z")
Tree sex. ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/179 "2008-12-18T04:01:05Z")
Uh, I already said that the whole **Hal** /fraternity thing was going to bring back bad flashbacks. The fact that **Cheryl** is involved is not so unusual. That’s my first ex-wife’s name so are you channeling or something? Having said that, I’d rather deal with this than her stinking attorney again. ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736/180 "2008-12-18T04:02:27Z")
NETA: PM received. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mafia-evil-dead-signups-and-night-zero/476736.md?page=10)