# Magic Cacti! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199 "2009-11-19T21:12:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/21 "2009-11-20T16:59:54Z")
Get yourself a cheap cactus, put it next to your monitor. Then when she isn’t looking, turn the brightness control all the way down so the screen is dark. Tell her the damn cactus screwed up your monitor and it’s all her fault. ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/22 "2009-11-20T18:09:21Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Last month I got an email at work stating that we needed to set onions out around the office because they would absorb the swine flu. Really. We actually have about 7 pods in our cube farm that have onions sitting plates in them, as a result of that email! Dunno why the gummint is trying so hard to get everyone vaccinated when all that was needed was for everyone to carry an onion in his pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/23 "2009-11-20T18:28:10Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > It does block optical radiation if you put it between the screen and you. +17 ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/24 "2009-11-20T18:59:17Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Get yourself a cheap cactus, put it next to your monitor. Then when she isn’t looking, turn the brightness control all the way down so the screen is dark. Tell her the damn cactus screwed up your monitor and it’s all her fault. Better yet mess with her monitor controls while she’s out. Tint, contrast, brightness, etc. Then when she asks “What the heck is wrong with my monitor?” you can tell her it must be the cactus. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/25 "2009-11-20T19:10:25Z")
> [@wisernow](#): > > Dunno why the gummint is trying so hard to get everyone vaccinated when all that was needed was for everyone to carry an onion in his pocket. In my day, we wore onions on our belt, as was the style at the time. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/26 "2009-11-20T19:10:46Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > Cacti to absorb harmful radiation from computers? Really? Well, you don’t expect African violets to do the job, do you? Seriously, think before you speak. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/27 "2009-11-20T19:21:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well, you don’t expect African violets to do the job, do you? Everybody knows African violets refract the radiation–they don’t absorb it. But cacti? Maybe this is a pricklier problem than I first thought. I think I’ll go have a nice succulent lunch and ponder it. Saguaro gonna put the cacti, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/82dd89/32.png) [@Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yoyodyne_Propulsion_Systems)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/28 "2009-11-20T19:52:55Z")
Even if it was to work, my office has sufficient pricks around without addition of cacti… ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/29 "2009-11-20T20:18:33Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well, you don’t expect African violets to do the job, do you? > > Seriously, think before you speak. No, the violets tend to shrink. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/30 "2009-11-20T20:22:36Z")
Get your mom to buy a few of [these cacti](http://www.plot55.com/growing/l.williamsii.html) for each employee. It’ll help promote visionary thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/31 "2009-11-21T10:37:32Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Get your mom to buy a few of [these cacti](http://www.plot55.com/growing/l.williamsii.html) for each employee. > > It’ll help promote visionary thinking. When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be [these](http://snopes.com/photos/risque/planter.asp). What? They’ll help promote thinking too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/32 "2009-11-22T00:18:37Z")
> [@Mikkel](#): > > When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be [these](http://snopes.com/photos/risque/planter.asp). Me, too. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/33 "2009-11-22T04:40:26Z")
> [@Mikkel](#): > > When I clicked the link I was almost certain it would be [these](http://snopes.com/photos/risque/planter.asp). > What? They’ll help promote thinking too. 😃 Maybe she’ll notice the _phallicy_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/34 "2009-11-22T21:07:20Z")
You really don’t want those catci to absorb \*\*too \*\*much radiation. That would make the [tarantula eggs](http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/cactus.asp) mutate. There’ nothing worse than having your cactus explode and having the resulting giant mutant tarantulas overtaking your office! ---
**Author:** ![Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hadrian_s_Wall)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/35 "2009-11-23T03:38:45Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > So if I make my computer background a picture of a cactus. And set a cactus in front of it, will that cause some sort of rift in the space-time continuum? > > Doomsday device on a budget! \*Snap! It’s like a black hole in a bags of holding! ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199/36 "2009-11-27T01:23:33Z")
> [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](#): > > \*Snap! > It’s like a black hole in a bags of holding! I think you mean a Portable Hole in a Bag of Holding. [QUOTE=Wikipedia] In the physics of Dungeons & Dragons, putting a bag of holding inside a portable hole will result in a rift to be opened to the Astral Plane, and both items will be lost forever. If a portable hole is placed within a bag of holding, it instead opens a gate to the Astral Plane, sucking in every creature in a ten foot radius, and destroying both the bag and hole. The contents of the bags are either scattered throughout the Astral Plane or destroyed. [/QUOTE] > **[Magic item (Dungeons & Dragons)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding)** > > In the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy role-playing game, a magic item is any object that is imbued with magic powers. These items may act on their own or be the tools of the character possessing them. Magic items have been prevalent in the game in every edition and setting, from the original edition in 1974 until the modern fifth edition. In addition to jewels and gold coins, they form part of the treasure that the players often seek in a dungeon. Magic items are generally found in treasure hoard In... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-cacti/518199.md?page=1)