# Magic doorway in wardrobe, what do you do ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940 "2005-01-27T16:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/21 "2005-01-27T19:25:18Z")
Do you know, ever since I read that book I check the back of the closet every single time. And I know exactly what I’d do: - ascertain that magic doorway stays open - go on a quick trip to Canadian Tire for camping supplies, etc. - call a couple of good friends and tell them to pack their things, it’s Questing time - never, ever come back! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/22 "2005-01-27T19:38:31Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > I bet you’re gonna fit right in. Join me? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/23 "2005-01-27T19:44:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > If \*that’s \* the case, I’ll strip naked and dance across the grass! I don’t know—seems a little witchy. And they don’t take kindly to witches over there, as I recall. Better go for the dryad look—comfy but not underdone. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/24 "2005-01-27T19:45:04Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > Do you know, ever since I read that book I check the back of the closet every single time. And I know exactly what I’d do: > > - ascertain that magic doorway stays open > - go on a quick trip to Canadian Tire for camping supplies, etc. > - call a couple of good friends and tell them to pack their things, it’s Questing time > - never, ever come back! Actually, for a while after reading the _Narnia_ series, I never went to bed without having my hiking boots, a small lunch, and a change of underwear with me (funny how heroes in children’s books never change their underwear). I also made sure that this “kit” was close at hand to my mirror and closet. My faith would have moved Mt St Helens. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/25 "2005-01-27T19:46:34Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > I don’t know—seems a little witchy. And they don’t take kindly to witches over there, as I recall. Better go for the dryad look—comfy but not underdone. I do not want to get shagged by a faun, which is probably what will happen if I look like a dryad. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/26 "2005-01-27T20:34:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Join me? I’ll be there with bells on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/27 "2005-01-27T20:42:04Z")
Never read the book. I hope that I would go through—but not until I’ve emptied my bank account on provisions that I may need. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/28 "2005-01-27T20:52:08Z")
I’d cry, “Hallelujah! A place to put all my crap!” Sorry, but I live in a tiny NYC apartment. There is never enough room for my stuff. :: stuyguy checks previous postings to see if Eve has beaten him to this snarky, but all too true, response. She has not. He is happy. :: ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/29 "2005-01-27T21:01:16Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I hope that I would go through—but not until I’ve emptied my bank account on provisions that I may need. So when you find that it’s a 1-mile-square pocket dimension with no other exits, you’re going to be destitute. Though you’ll at least have a nice tent to live in. I’d definitely want to go through. A while back, I wouldn’t, but these days I have little to lose. But I’d still make an effort to see that I could get back safely. For all I know, I’d hike for a mile and discover a highway, and learn that my wardrobe was just a portal to forest in Oregon. Oh, and I’d see if I could show it to James Randi and win a million bucks. That’d be nice too. As for what to bring, definitely warm clothes, tent and sleeping bag, a sharp knife and a sword. And a whole lot of light sources. And non-perishable food. It might be worthwhile to bring an axe and a hunting rifle, but it somehow seems wrong. Hell, might as well bring a breeding pair of cane toads. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/30 "2005-01-27T21:04:06Z")
True story: the parents of a classmate in grade school bought a new (actually historically old) house on a large hill near the river that ran through my hometown. My classmate, like most kids that age, rummaged through every nook and cranny of this “new” old house and found a secret door in the upstairs bedroom closet floor. It had a ladder going straight down. The parents heard the ruckus and grabbed him before he could explore. Come to find out, this was a secret passageway to a tunnel that went under the river and was used in the days of the Underground Railway to help slaves escape to the North. There was a big write up in the local paper and it seems the previous owner of the house, who had lived there 20 years, had no idea that secret door was even there. The tunnel, however, had been sealed up decades prior to the discovery of the secret door in the upstairs closet. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/31 "2005-01-27T21:07:12Z")
1. Buy big spikey black armor and a huge sword. 2. Hire a bunch of thugs. 3. Invade. Take that, you loopy faeries. I’ll teach you to dance and frolic. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/32 "2005-01-27T21:08:08Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > I’ll be there with bells on. 😉 Glancing at your profile, I see you’re female. What will you tie them to? Want some ribbon? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/33 "2005-01-27T21:13:21Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Glancing at your profile, I see you’re female. What will you tie them to? Want some ribbon? My toes, of course! ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/34 "2005-01-27T21:16:59Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > 1. Buy big spikey black armor and a huge sword. > 2. Hire a bunch of thugs. > 3. Invade. Please welcome Caspian I of Telmarine, ladies and gentlemen! –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/35 "2005-01-27T21:17:19Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > True story: the parents of a classmate in grade school bought a new (actually historically old) house on a large hill near the river that ran through my hometown. My classmate, like most kids that age, rummaged through every nook and cranny of this “new” old house and found a secret door in the upstairs bedroom closet floor. It had a ladder going straight down. The parents heard the ruckus and grabbed him before he could explore. Come to find out, this was a secret passageway to a tunnel that went under the river and was used in the days of the Underground Railway to help slaves escape to the North. There was a big write up in the local paper and it seems the previous owner of the house, who had lived there 20 years, had no idea that secret door was even there. The tunnel, however, had been sealed up decades prior to the discovery of the secret door in the upstairs closet. That lucky bastard. As a kid, I was always dreaming of secret passageways, even if they didn’t go to Narnia. I still look, anywhere they seem likely. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/36 "2005-01-27T21:18:40Z")
Buy a **large** supply of catnip! 😃 > [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Watch it, those are my childhood memories you’re stepping on. Look, we know the sorts of stories your grandfather told you! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/37 "2005-01-27T21:35:54Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > So when you find that it’s a 1-mile-square pocket dimension with no other exits, you’re going to be destitute. Gotta minimize my maximum loss, you know. I’d definately have a gun. (I wouldn’t bring a sword because it would be quite difficult to find one. The ones we see in catalogues are generally stainless steel which, I am led to believe, is really crappy material. Story goes that the stuff they put in to make it stainless reduces its strength at the molecular level and causes the sword to break easily.) Maybe a compound bow and a patent attorney would be a smart move. I’d be the vanguard of the bourgeois (sp?) class. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/38 "2005-01-27T21:41:53Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > If \*that’s \* the case, I’ll strip naked and dance across the grass! Woo, and may I say, Hoo. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/39 "2005-01-27T22:34:28Z")
Go through. But bring pepper spray and a cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/40 "2005-01-27T23:51:38Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Go through. But bring pepper spray and a cell phone. Most major wireless carriers have crappy coverage in Narnia (Well, in a lot of other places too). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940.md?page=3)