# Magic doorway in wardrobe, what do you do ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940 "2005-01-27T16:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/41 "2005-01-27T23:59:17Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > 1. Buy big spikey black armor and a huge sword. > 2. Hire a bunch of thugs. > 3. Invade. > > Take that, you loopy faeries. I’ll teach you to dance and frolic. :dubious: No-no-no. \< LUCASFILM \> [ol] [li]Buy black battle armor with a breather mask & a lightsabre.[/li][li]Hire Stormtroopers.[/li][li]Invade.[/li][/ol] And as for the faires—I’m sure you’ll find their lack of faith…_disturbing_. \< /LUCASFILM \> Gotta be modern, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/42 "2005-01-28T00:14:42Z")
Say, “Hey! Give me back my sock, you goat bastard!” ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/43 "2005-01-28T00:21:02Z")
Uh. I think it was a handkerchief. Maybe you had the PG-13 edition. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/44 "2005-01-28T00:33:10Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Actually, for a while after reading the _Narnia_ series, I never went to bed without having my hiking boots, a small lunch, and a change of underwear with me (funny how heroes in children’s books never change their underwear). I also made sure that this “kit” was close at hand to my mirror and closet. Geez, that would have been nice. I got the crap scared out of me so badly by a PSA “how to keep from dying in a house fire, like _this_ family” film reel, every night I’d pull my pillow case off my pillow and crammed all my stuffed animals inside. That way if the fire alarm went off I could save everybody by jumping out the window with all my plush pals in the pillow case. Parents would have to fend for themselves. Stupid school film reels! Although I did think there was a hidden passage to Narnia in my basement. I just couldn’t find it. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/45 "2005-01-28T00:34:52Z")
Family Guy edition, I think you mean. 😃 BTW, good plan, **SusanStoHelit** (nice username, too). One must always be prepared. :nonchalantly grabs handful of Canadian Tire money, ambles towards door, breaks out into a run: ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/46 "2005-01-28T00:58:54Z")
> [@Madd Maxx](#): > > Most major wireless carriers have crappy coverage in Narnia (Well, in a lot of other places too). Bah. Can’t be worse than the Verizon coverage in Santa Fe. There’s one corner of my room - a dorm room, which is about 10X10 - in which I am roaming. I measured: That roaming area takes up about two square feet. If I go outside, and stand right outside that corner of my room, I am not roaming. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/47 "2005-01-28T01:00:46Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Woo, and may I say, Hoo. 😉 It’s me & Dung Beetle, you wanna join us? I’m going to put my bells in my hair. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/48 "2005-01-28T01:18:06Z")
Actually, in all seriousness, I think there’s a GREAT movie to be made about a normal, skeptical, rational adult who actually finds a magical artifact, be it a door to a fairyland, Excalibur, the Holy Grail, or some such thing, and how he handles it, who he tells, who tries to exploit it, etc. Sadly, it’s a bit hard to imagine such a story ending happily. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/49 "2005-01-28T01:24:50Z")
and may I be the first to say… ALL YOUR WARDROBE BELONG TO US ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/50 "2005-01-28T01:32:25Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Actually, in all seriousness, I think there’s a GREAT movie to be made about a normal, skeptical, rational adult who actually finds a magical artifact, be it a door to a fairyland, Excalibur, the Holy Grail, or some such thing, and how he handles it, who he tells, who tries to exploit it, etc. > > Sadly, it’s a bit hard to imagine such a story ending happily. That would be a fantastic story, whether written or filmed. Kinda like the goose who laid the golden egg, or that Looney Toons about the singing frog and the construction worker. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/51 "2005-01-28T01:38:45Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > Although I did think there was a hidden passage to Narnia in my basement. I just couldn’t find it. We didn’t have any wardrobes in my house, but I was always on the lookout for them, or pictures of ships (from _The Voyage of the Dawn Treader_) at other people’s houses. This led to some akward situations where concerned friends of my parents would have to say things like, “Is your daughter alright? Only she’s been glaring at the painting in my hall for nearly 10 minutes.” ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/52 "2005-01-28T06:43:31Z")
I’d take two steps, grab my backpack, video camera, and toolchest, and slam the door behind me as I ran through. Unless, of course, js\_africanus were around… then I’d grab the biggest fire extinguisher I could find first. q;} ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/53 "2005-01-28T13:34:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It’s me & Dung Beetle, you wanna join us? I’m going to put my bells in my hair. Let me just grab the trusty camcorder… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/54 "2005-01-28T13:49:48Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Let me just grab the trusty camcorder… Gooble-gobble, one of _us_, one of _us_! ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/55 "2005-01-28T14:04:01Z")
sell tickets ala Being John Malcovich. I, too, am enamoured of secret stash places and passages (have been since I was a wee tot) and am working to be skilled enough to create such passages in my homes some day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![enigmatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@enigmatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigmatic)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/56 "2005-01-28T14:28:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I, too, am enamoured of secret stash places and passages (have been since I was a wee tot) and am working to be skilled enough to create such passages in my homes some day. I have always been determined that if I am ever in the unlikely position of having kids and being able to build my own house at the same time, a dusty old hollow book in the library (also essential 🙂 ) will point the way to some sort of secret. > [@](#): > > Actually, in all seriousness, I think there’s a GREAT movie to be made about a normal, skeptical, rational adult who actually finds a magical artifact, be it a door to a fairyland, Excalibur, the Holy Grail, or some such thing, and how he handles it, who he tells, who tries to exploit it, etc. I’d been kicking around this idea as the basis for a short story for a while before deciding to see what the various denizens of this message board would do in that situation. I’d definately go through the wardrobe, I’m not sure who I could trust to take with me but my LARP’ing workmate would probably be a good bet (apparently she has her own armour). No idea what I’d take with me, but protection would probably be a problem, this being the UK I don’t think I could lay my hands on anything more destructive than my trusty old .22 air pistol at short notice. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/57 "2005-01-28T15:43:48Z")
> [@Phnord Prephect](#): > > Unless, of course, js\_africanus were around… then I’d grab the biggest fire extinguisher I could find first. q;} I should learn what limestone looks like just in case, so that I don’t make outrageous claims and end up not knowing which type of rock to bake. > [@NinjaChick](#): > > Can’t be worse than the Verizon coverage in Santa Fe. There’s one corner of my room - a dorm room, which is about 10X10 - in which I am roaming. I measured: That roaming area takes up about two square feet. If I go outside, and stand right outside that corner of my room, I am not roaming. That’s hilarious. > [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > That way if the fire alarm went off I could save everybody by jumping out the window with all my plush pals in the pillow case. That is so cool. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/58 "2005-01-28T15:49:10Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Actually, in all seriousness, I think there’s a GREAT movie to be made about a normal, skeptical, rational adult who actually finds a magical artifact, be it a door to a fairyland, Excalibur, the Holy Grail, or some such thing, and how he handles it, who he tells, who tries to exploit it, etc. I forgot to say: There already is a novel to that effect. It’s my NaNo novel—except the main character is just plunked into a fantasy world with no way of going back home. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/59 "2005-01-28T16:11:11Z")
I was rereading _The Magician’s Nephew_ a couple of months back, and I was suddenly struck by a realization that I had misunderstood a critical part of the book. In the attic of Diggory’s house was a door into the eave of the house. This area was unfinished, with naked rafters above and joists below. By walking on the joists, they could walk the length of the house, and then on into the other houses on the street. Until this last rereading, I always assumed that this was a magical passageway. This was because, in my own life experience, houses on a street are separate. As I reread the book, it struck me that in that area of London you would have had connected row houses, allowing for a continuous passage. So, Diggory’s attic was NOT a “magic door in the wardrobe”. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940/60 "2005-01-28T16:41:31Z")
I’d want to explore carefully. I’d start with throwing something through. Then throwing something tied to a rope, to see if it came back. There would be observations at different times of the day, over a period of weeks and months. Then I’d have to make further plans. I’d put that on my To Do list. And you know what happens after that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magic-doorway-in-wardrobe-what-do-you-do/286940.md?page=4)