# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/1 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")
A somewhat bored minorly godlike posthuman entity has just skipped by and for his/her/its amusement has decided to turn every SDMP poster into a realistic anthropomorphic version of their username. So I guess I’m now really a disposable hero, so my life-expectancy would probably be fairly short but at least I’d get to bite the bullet in a suitably dramatic fashion…quite possibly against the poster EvilMinion _(Hurrah! Every hero needs an opponent!)_ Just running down the posters from the front page we’d have: A Monkey With a Gun _(dangerous!_) The Tooth _(a…well…tooth apparently)_ Smeghead _(eeewwww!!!)_ handsomeharry _(lucky bastard)_ wolfman _(better hope we have some silver bullets at hand)_ For people who use thier real names _(how mundane)_ I guess there wouldn’t really be much difference. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/2 "2012-08-19T12:21:58Z")
I am a painting drawn in cartoon format. (Not so bad) Judging from my skin tone, I have an advanced case of jaundice. (Not so good!) ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/3 "2012-08-19T12:32:55Z")
I am just like I am now, except now I’m left-handed. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/4 "2012-08-19T12:34:21Z")
Help! I’m not anything! Or 4/7ths of an old kingdom which doesn’t exist any more, take your pick. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/5 "2012-08-19T12:48:11Z")
I suppose I’ll be very wealthy, talented and married to an old dude. Although I left out the Jones so maybe there’s someone out there just named “Catherine Zeta” in which case it’ll be a surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/6 "2012-08-19T12:48:17Z")
I’m not sure exactly what I’d be, but I think I’d be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/7 "2012-08-19T12:53:59Z")
I’m a cool helicopter. Fly me. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/8 "2012-08-19T12:54:02Z")
Not much changes 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/9 "2012-08-19T12:56:11Z")
Hoo! Ha! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, mama. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/10 "2012-08-19T12:57:20Z")
I’m in for a probably long but _exceedingly boring_ life ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/11 "2012-08-19T13:02:22Z")
don’t ask ---
**Author:** ![Rubixcube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Rubixcube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubixcube)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/12 "2012-08-19T13:03:57Z")
I am a off brand Rubick’s Cube, which basically means that someone will mess with me once or twice and then I’ll just sit on a desk for the rest of my days. Kinda depressing, on the plus side I can watch as people become frustrated trying to solve me. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/13 "2012-08-19T13:07:21Z")
I guess apart from the addition of wings, there wouldn’t be a lot of difference. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/14 "2012-08-19T13:07:44Z")
Yay! All we have to do is avoid getting eaten. But with the proper military strategy, I think we will survive. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/15 "2012-08-19T13:08:50Z")
I’m either a book by Diane Mott Davidson or else maybe you can throw me at people while munching on breakfast? ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/16 "2012-08-19T13:13:09Z")
On the plus side, I’d actually have talent. 🙂 On the down side, I’d be dead. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/17 "2012-08-19T13:19:50Z")
_looks down_ I’m the same! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/18 "2012-08-19T13:24:29Z")
I end up rather cosmic. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/19 "2012-08-19T13:28:21Z")
I guess I’d be a lot more flamboyant, even wearing a big white plume in my hat. Oh, and there’d be 45 of me. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/20 "2012-08-19T13:30:20Z")
Not so much screwed as skewered. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=2)