# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/201 "2012-08-20T16:05:00Z")
I would walk leisurely, everywhere I go. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/202 "2012-08-20T16:09:05Z")
I would be an invincible outer god that is beyond space and time. Pretty cool ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/203 "2012-08-20T16:25:54Z")
Hmmm…I’m a 300 year old turtle who can do magic. Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/204 "2012-08-20T16:30:34Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > I would be a kitten called Will, in some kind of danger… > Or am I a question about a kitten who is in some kind of danger? awww, don’t put yourself in a box now! Me - not much of a change really - none of this is real anyway, right? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Doctor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/205 "2012-08-20T16:31:00Z")
But will I get my own TARDIS? ---
**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/206 "2012-08-20T17:02:28Z")
I’m either an insect in the prime of its life, or the perfect parent. Huh. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/207 "2012-08-20T17:12:35Z")
Apparently I’d be a large glowing ball of glass filled with acid. Perhaps I’m like Lumiere from Beauty and the beast then? But without the french accent of course… Don’t drop me or handle me roughly I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/208 "2012-08-20T18:22:22Z")
I will become…GLORIOUS. And you WILL agree. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/209 "2012-08-20T18:29:02Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I’m Cal Meacham! > I’m tall, dark, handsome, and have a DEEP VOICE. I get credit for defeating bug-eyed explosed-brain Mutants even when I don’t actually do anything.I can fly a jet plane or a prop plane, and I make out with brainy women. And I can build an Interociter from scratch! > > Life is good! But you can’t tell metal from paper! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/210 "2012-08-20T18:45:50Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > But you can’t tell metal from paper! I certainly can! Metal is what Metalunans make catalogues out of! And don’t try to hang that “We call him Neutron because he’s so positive!” thing on me, either. They named that cat before I got there! ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/211 "2012-08-20T19:19:01Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yay! > > All we have to do is avoid getting eaten. But with the proper military strategy, I think we will survive. If you need some strategy help, I’m your man! ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/212 "2012-08-20T19:30:39Z")
I’d be the one you all tap for a loan. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/213 "2012-08-20T19:31:40Z")
And possibly dyslexic. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/214 "2012-08-20T19:41:15Z")
I am a very cold spot in the north of Scotland…where I have never even been! (How would that work? I guess I would be there then) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/215 "2012-08-20T19:46:43Z")
Hmmm…my user name is a combination of the infamous Oakbrow Farwalker, Raiding Druid of Karana, and Elminster, Archmage of the Forgotten Realms. Oakie used to solo dragons, and Elminster walked through Hell itself kicking ass and taking names. Sooo…yeah, I’m good. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/216 "2012-08-20T20:13:07Z")
:: Looks around :: “Hell Yes” Red shirts watch out **CAPT** ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/217 "2012-08-20T20:23:37Z")
I’m gonna get chomped by a huge felinoid and have a laser slice through my brain. Can’t see what’s so lucky about _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Scholar\_Beardpig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Scholar\_Beardpig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scholar_Beardpig)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/218 "2012-08-20T20:27:32Z")
In the morning, I am part of a complete and delicious breakfast. In the mid-day, I tease and comb my facial hair. In the afternoon, I write eight-legged essays and drink coffee with Noel Chomsky. At night, Cubans make sandwiches out of me. In short, people gon’ eat me. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Burro\_Buenmozo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@El\_Burro\_Buenmozo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Burro_Buenmozo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/219 "2012-08-20T20:37:34Z")
I’d be more of an ass, but at least I’d be good looking! ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/220 "2012-08-20T20:38:58Z")
I have lost a lot of weight and gained the power of life and death over rodents and an annoying raven sidekick. SQUEAK [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=12)