# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/301 "2012-08-23T18:00:29Z")
Go away! I’d make a lousy Christmas tree! I’m all spindly and smell like cat pee. Yerp, screwed! ---
**Author:** ![Zuzu\_s\_Petals](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@Zuzu\_s\_Petals](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zuzu_s_Petals)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/302 "2012-08-23T18:06:09Z")
Pretty screwed. I am now the dust of long-disintegrated petals from a movie filmed in 1946. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/303 "2012-08-23T18:26:26Z")
I don’t think I’m in the slightest bit of trouble. I am a former orphan turned thief from the most populous (and dirty) city in the world. I was pressed into duty as a soldier and did well until the king was assassinated. I am now one of the top swordsmen in duels, though that is a precarious position with a lot of unnecessary interruptions to my leisure time. I am learning to play a 14-stringed lute called a theorbo. I make my living wandering from town to town, relaying news and singing songs – sometimes at the same time, since music and rhyme help in remembering the story. I share a quiet apartment with my fiancee, a duellist with a natural talent for magic that she refuses to hone. We live in the nastiest town in the realm, a place called Karnak on the world of Ferdarchi. The DartMUD is gone now, but the tale is archived [here](http://www.surfon.com/dartmud/books/grestarian.html), for some reason. –G! Sing a song of sixpence… ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/304 "2012-08-23T18:27:42Z")
I’d just being hanging out, catching some rays… ---
**Author:** ![CoffinMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@CoffinMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoffinMan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/305 "2012-08-23T19:32:27Z")
Probably would remain a funeral director…or a really weird superhero, probably of DC origin. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/306 "2012-08-23T21:45:45Z")
If I was my cat Pushkin I’d be dead and buried right now. The poet Pushkin? Four more years of life, filled with duels. ---
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/307 "2012-08-24T02:43:37Z")
I can cause earthquakes and die after killing a god (Thor). ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/308 "2012-08-24T04:11:06Z")
Adhemar was a bishop who went crusading making him a Paladin (if he had magic). he died in the 11th century. I am named after a gaming character who is named after a real person so I am either dead or about to meet some really nasty monsters. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/309 "2012-08-24T05:03:03Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > I am just like I am now, except now I’m left-handed. The same, though I just switch from ambidextrous right-dominant to ambidextrous left-dominant. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/310 "2012-08-24T10:11:24Z")
> [@CoffinMan](#): > > Probably would remain a funeral director…or a really weird superhero, probably of DC origin. [Meet](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/09/hocus-focus) [Steel](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/10/another-nail-in-the-coffin) [Coffin](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/11/play-till-your-eyes-bleed). ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/311 "2012-08-24T10:59:42Z")
Wow, a lot of dopers are named after (dead) cats. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/312 "2012-08-24T11:03:21Z")
I’m a football team. Not sure how that will work out… ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/313 "2012-08-24T11:19:33Z")
No real change here. ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/314 "2012-08-24T12:43:25Z")
I’m a goddess maintaining northern forests. Finally, enough time for hiking. Clearcutters, beware! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/315 "2012-08-24T14:17:24Z")
Nothing would change. ---
**Author:** ![Dioptre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@Dioptre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dioptre)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/316 "2012-08-24T14:58:53Z")
I’m a unit of measurement. I’m not even sure what it means to be a unit of measurement. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/317 "2012-08-24T17:54:56Z")
I now talk with a funny accent. Wait, do I get relocated as well? > [@Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](#): > > I’m both dead and alive. And I make little biological sense. I like the username. > [@twickster](#): > > Me neither. You’re Loki with a speech impediment? > [@Andy\_L](#): > > I’ve lost several letters from my last name! Does that mean you lose some appendages to match? Or just get shorter? > [@vd](#): > > I’d have more of a social life. :eek: Snerk. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/318 "2012-08-24T18:08:15Z")
I’m an interrogative statement used to get the attention of one called “Homie.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/319 "2012-08-24T18:18:30Z")
> [@Dioptre](#): > > I’m a unit of measurement. I’m not even sure what it means to be a unit of measurement. Not only that, but your units are inverse length\*. What does it mean to be inverse length? 1 Diopter = 1/meter. By the way, I’ve never encountered the spelling “dioptre” before. Being in optics, I’ve used “diopter” for over 30 years, and never saw “dioptre” before today. No doubt the British spelling. Or the original French, perhaps. I’ve never seen Mo noyer’s article. ---
**Author:** ![CoffinMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@CoffinMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoffinMan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/320 "2012-08-24T18:27:14Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > [Meet](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/09/hocus-focus) [Steel](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/10/another-nail-in-the-coffin) [Coffin](http://pvponline.com/comic/2010/06/11/play-till-your-eyes-bleed). LOL - yeah probably along those lines - and just as innane! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=17)