# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/381 "2012-08-31T19:38:25Z")
> [@rhythmonly](#): > > Either no Lead Guitar … So you don’t make it cry or sing? ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/382 "2012-08-31T20:31:40Z")
The result may not be good. You see, over 98% of me would disapppear. That would not be a healthy thing to happen all at once. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cold\_April](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cold\_April](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cold_April)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/383 "2012-08-31T21:48:11Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Nitpick: April has 30 days. How embarrassing. And I even sang that little rhyme to myself - 30 days hath September…must have drifted off into hypothermic shock ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/384 "2012-08-31T23:48:55Z")
> [@Cold\_April](#): > > How embarrassing. And I even sang that little rhyme to myself - 30 days hath September…must have drifted off into hypothermic shock The cold must have numbed your brain. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chronometer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@chronometer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chronometer)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/385 "2012-09-01T06:21:16Z")
Tick tock tick tock. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/386 "2012-09-01T16:13:21Z")
AWB = average white boy; not so much the boy anymore. (It’s also my initials; not so inspired when I thought of it 15 years ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/387 "2012-09-02T06:44:54Z")
> [@DirkGntly](#): > > I would be a Douglas Adams character…and a cool one, at that. Yes, I would be truly awesome. Nice hat. ---
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/388 "2012-09-02T07:22:07Z")
My opinion of myself would skyrocket, if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/389 "2012-09-02T12:15:56Z")
I’d be running the gentle, good, God-fearing-in-the-nice-sense population of Mars - three distinct sentient species who all value each others’ sterling qualities, and an indefinite number of intangible almost-invisible lesser angels; and I would occasionally enjoy the society of my fellow planetary archons, who between us have few regrets except that the time is not yet come for the final redemption of Earth and we are unable to see much of what is going on there until Maleldil gives us leave. Life would be very good indeed. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/390 "2012-09-03T01:45:43Z")
[Wikipedia entry.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groo) > [@](#): > > … > Groo is an ugly large-nosed buffoon of unsurpassed stupidity who constantly misunderstands his surroundings. > … [He] causes mass destruction wherever he goes. Most of his adventures end with him oblivious to the mayhem he has wrought, or fleeing an angry mob. As a result, his penchant for destruction has become so widely known and feared that just the news of Groo approaching is sometimes enough to cause chaos when the population reacts to the impending disaster. … So, hypothetically, what if I had a larger nose? My guess is that it would be easier to trim my nose hairs. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/391 "2012-09-03T04:26:36Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/392 "2012-09-03T17:17:48Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > .. Most excellent!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/393 "2012-09-03T18:46:06Z")
I would already know the results of the election–and the future of the world for the next 1000 years. And I have two foundations–one totally secret–to make sure the world stays on course. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/394 "2012-09-03T19:23:21Z")
Well, I think I’d make out okay… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/395 "2012-09-03T22:53:05Z")
Ididn’tdoitnobodysawmedoityoucan’tproveanything! ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/396 "2012-09-04T02:39:32Z")
My life would go down the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/397 "2012-09-05T02:48:26Z")
I’m a character with hearing problems played by a dead woman who was on a TV show back in the '70s. Yep, I’m still clueless. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/398 "2012-09-05T06:15:42Z")
Nobody wants to hang out with me now. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/399 "2012-09-05T07:17:05Z")
You’ll most easily find me in any number of hospital, school and prison cafeterias, especially after meals. I plan to retire somewhere nice in Lunch Lady Land. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/400 "2012-09-05T15:55:47Z")
I’m a pretentious poseur. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=21)