# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![mage-girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mage-girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mage-girl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/81 "2012-08-19T17:06:11Z")
If I changed into my user-name, we would have a problem. My story mage-girl is very fond of Fireball. Gives whole new meaning to the term “flame war”! Plus she is always getting into scrapes. On the positive side, she has a kick-ass best friend/bodyguard, and a cute sorta-boyfriend (if only he would get around to actually telling her how he feels). However, on the negative side, she may be expected to save the world someday. So, moderately screwed, I guess? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/82 "2012-08-19T17:09:58Z")
I’d probably be a bit shorter, but have killer pre-cog and a very interesting rooming house. Ankh-Morpork holds no terrors for me, but I may have a few currently renting the basement rooms for it. Hi **Gytha Ogg**. Keeping a room for you when you visit next. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/83 "2012-08-19T17:15:24Z")
Oooh, my name could be interesting! On the one hand, it’s a mix-mash of two different game characters I’ve played. So I’d be half Friar and half Druid, all deadly! 😃 On the other hand, people regularly ask me what a Taomist is, because it does sound kind of philosophical. In which case I’d be what I am anyway, which is one of those people that knows it’s all going to hell but enjoys the scenery along the way anyhow. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/84 "2012-08-19T17:19:52Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Quite frankly, I don’t think anyone would [notice](http://www.pantheon.org/articles/s/silenus.html). Don’t be silly; you’re the original wing-man! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/85 "2012-08-19T17:20:03Z")
I’ll be a character from an early Guy Gavriel Kay novel. Which means I’ll be handsome, heroic, melancholy and musically talented. I’ll also get laid a lot. So yeah, works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/86 "2012-08-19T17:50:21Z")
I’d be sittin on the dock o’ the bay. Watchin’ the tide rrrrrrrrrrole away. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/87 "2012-08-19T17:52:05Z")
Not all that different. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/88 "2012-08-19T17:53:31Z")
I’d be a [guitar](http://www.guitarphotographer.com/More%20vintage%20guitar%20photos/vertical/1972-strat-burst.JPG). Hopefully in the collection of somebody I like–Clapton, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/89 "2012-08-19T18:03:03Z")
I think I’d better watch out for hunters… ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/90 "2012-08-19T18:09:31Z")
I’m flailing in the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/91 "2012-08-19T18:13:46Z")
I now have six older sisters. I’m okay, but my parents may be somewhat shocked. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/92 "2012-08-19T18:13:48Z")
> [@Folly](#): > > I don’t think I can get a bank to loan me money anymore . ☹ You’re the one making all of the important decisions for your employer, a major investment institution! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/93 "2012-08-19T18:14:15Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Hm, Aruvqan was a hunnic female mentioned in a byzantine roman document in roughly 400 ad, the name is 2 parts, aruv refers to the sky, and qan refers to someone in charge of something, typically it was used as the man in charge of a military detatchment [the first part of the name would refer to the number of men] si I jokingly translate it as sky princess or heavenly princess, which it is probably reasonably close to meaning. As the early mongolians ‘worshipped’ the sky, it coul dpossibly have referred to a shamaness like the one they dug up a while back. [one of the Tarim caucasian mummies, she was found with this huge pointy felt hat. The steppes peoples are known to have female shamans instead of exclusively male religious figures.] > > I guess I would have a liking for fermented mares milk and hot tea with yak butter? [blech, have tried both of them.] Your “Sunspace Hopeless Doper Crush factor” has just gone up extremely. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/94 "2012-08-19T18:18:07Z")
[Woof](http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/7/3/6edbbf13-7b00-4df0-bb47-0beaa12445b8.jpg) [woof](http://files.coloribus.com/files/adsarchive/part_557/5576005/file/dog-kennel-einstein-small-31385.jpg)! ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/95 "2012-08-19T18:28:27Z")
I guess I’d still be the only me - except I don’t feel temporarily single M-F (that’s Mon-Fri, not male-female, btw) anymore. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/96 "2012-08-19T18:36:11Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Shit. Nah, you’d be able to make something out of it. Just stay away from dudes named Snake. I hear they have some really bitchin’ dominant genes. I’d be… some form of monkey, which is a bit of a bother since it’s always been meant as a jokey reference to a lemur instead. And I’d either be a lawyer or a lawman… lawmonkey. Either way, I think I’d have a really stupid sitcom to star in. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/97 "2012-08-19T18:41:50Z")
I would have quills, standing on end, just like Hamlet’s hair if his dad had been allowed to tell him the whole truth about purgatory. Also, I don’t think porpentines can type, so I guess I wouldn’t be here any more. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/98 "2012-08-19T18:44:20Z")
Not too different, just a bit twisted 'round. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/99 "2012-08-19T18:50:42Z")
Hmmm. Nothing changes, except my name. ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/100 "2012-08-19T18:56:16Z")
I’d finally know how to answer all the people who ask “What’s a Silophant?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=6)