# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/141 "2012-08-20T00:22:27Z")
I suppose I could manage sleeping in the park and shaving in the dark. But that ten bob note up my nose would take some getting used to. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/142 "2012-08-20T00:23:49Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I’d devour information. > > Which is pretty much what I do now anyway, so little change. I dunno–I’m seeing you as a character in a China Mieville novel, whose habitat is literally information, and whose passage results in swaths of data gone forever. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/143 "2012-08-20T00:37:06Z")
I’m not too screwed - if I was allergic to cats I would be. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/144 "2012-08-20T00:45:06Z")
Uh… no difference. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/145 "2012-08-20T00:46:32Z")
Not screwed at all, my friend! What could be better than being me, perhaps save for being two of me? ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/146 "2012-08-20T00:47:30Z")
I gave a long speech in a book - so boring that even I skipped over reading it all. Sometimes even I don’t know who I am. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/147 "2012-08-20T00:59:29Z")
Apparently I have become a German maker of low-frequency alternatives to lasers. I think I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/148 "2012-08-20T01:01:02Z")
Apparently, I’d be in unrequited love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s former nemesis. Which doesn’t sound like a necessarily bad thing, unless I have to deal with hordes of fanboys. This is where **Regallag** would come in handy! ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/149 "2012-08-20T01:35:02Z")
I’d be…the [forty third U.S. president](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_W._Bush)? Damn! ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/150 "2012-08-20T01:47:27Z")
Angel of the Abyss… OK… who (depending on source and tradition) may or may not be a _Fallen_ Angel. So… it depends really… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/151 "2012-08-20T01:51:32Z")
> [@brachyrhynchos](#): > > I’m an American Crow! **flies away** And that brachyrhynchos that the Dopers did adore shall be heard from, nevermore. The Outlier has been trying to convince people that he’s an outlier for years, so cool! **ETA** crow/raven, sue me. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/152 "2012-08-20T02:02:05Z")
Just don’t let **Yeticus Rex** or **Chronos** in here. They’ll totally tear up the landscaping. And I just laid fresh mulch. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/153 "2012-08-20T02:14:44Z")
Points at username. I’m so screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/154 "2012-08-20T02:24:15Z")
Not much differnce at all. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/155 "2012-08-20T02:24:44Z")
If we’re allowing characters the posters created, then I’m in even better shape. I’m a young axe-wielding barbarian who has left his home seeking fortune and glory. I’m traveling with a young elf archer and a young swordsman. We’re roving around the Land of Many Princes; fighting as mercenaries, slaughtering demon cultists, and generally kicking ass for fun and profit. > [@cmyk](#): > > Just don’t let Yeticus Rex or Chronos in here. Bah, just give me and my boys some money, we’ll take care of 'em. > [@BigDadWolf](#): > > As BigDadWolf I think I would just be a more hirsute which wouldn’t be too bad as I am a bit follicly challenged. Be careful what you wish for. No joke, I had to shave my collarbone _and_ my shoulders this week. I’m pretty sure humans are not supposed to have hairy collarbones. I need to get a straight razor, I’m going broke from buying disposables. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/156 "2012-08-20T02:48:43Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > But if **Analog Signal** and I showed up together, there would be sparks. Electrical sparks. Calm down dude. This isn’t the [Doper romance thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=573506). ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/157 "2012-08-20T02:52:33Z")
Well this is no fun for me. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/158 "2012-08-20T03:04:23Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > I’ll probably get eaten. Hopefully I’m at least free range. _licks lips_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/159 "2012-08-20T03:12:50Z")
Probably no more or less worse for the wear. My pseudonymsake was a character in a graphic novel series, where he alternated between in-denial bouts of drunkenness and cavorting, vs. trying to save the universe (and suceeding despite himself). And in the end he gets to do it all over again, Groundhog Day style, without sharing in the Oneness that his colleagues achieved. He does have a chance tho, like Bill Murray and Roland the Gunslinger, to change his destiny in the next go-arounds. Hmhrf, probably not much difference in the end-analysis then. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/160 "2012-08-20T04:14:56Z")
I’m an octogenarian on my deathbed, and all three of my children are insane, to one degree or another. The butler is a homicidal maniac when he drinks. There are strangers at the door. And it’s a dark and stormy night! Sir Roderick Femm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=9)