# \*magical sound effect\* You are now your username - how screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956 "2012-08-19T12:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/161 "2012-08-20T04:17:22Z")
Are there any lions around? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/162 "2012-08-20T04:19:09Z")
I’d probably be extremely popular, in an unpleasant sort of way for me anyway, for a day or two at most before dying of high velocity lead poisoning. On the bright side, the news would be very interesting for the rest of you. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/163 "2012-08-20T04:29:24Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I’m a cool helicopter. Fly me. Humm - I would have thought you would have been a rather nice fish… Me - I’d be down the rabbit hole… ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/164 "2012-08-20T04:53:16Z")
Oh man, I get to be either Marc Bolan or, if taken very literally, [this guy](http://www.studiobriefing.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/tron_1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/165 "2012-08-20T04:56:51Z")
Jackpot! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/166 "2012-08-20T05:21:59Z")
Well, I guess now… 1. I may not injure a Doper or, through inaction, allow a Doper to come to harm. 2. I must obey the orders given to me by mods and admins, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. I must protect my own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/167 "2012-08-20T06:22:19Z")
Bleh, I guess I can’t play along - I **am** my username. I’d like to keep on riding as long as I can still do it safely. Maybe 20-25 more years…if I live that long, that is. Watch out for motorcyclists and scooterists, Doper peeps! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/168 "2012-08-20T06:53:57Z")
I would be a kitten called Will, in some kind of danger… Or am I a question about a kitten who is in some kind of danger? ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/169 "2012-08-20T07:40:07Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > I’m laying around being furry and cute and eating bamboo all day 🙂 Plus you’d have a team of zoologists actively working towards getting you laid. ---
**Author:** ![LotusPotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@LotusPotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LotusPotus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/170 "2012-08-20T07:46:38Z")
I am my cat. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/171 "2012-08-20T07:56:52Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I’m a cool helicopter. Fly me. I’m sorry to tell you this, Mr. Loach, but you’re actually [a fish.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cypriniformes) ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/172 "2012-08-20T07:58:03Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Are there any lions around? _licks chops_ _realizes you’re a bit large_ _stalks from a distance, anyway, hopeful_ ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/173 "2012-08-20T08:12:14Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Jackpot! `Mind those Sunday afternoons, sir.’ ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/174 "2012-08-20T09:30:53Z")
Since I use my real first name here, NBD. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/175 "2012-08-20T09:50:06Z")
Depends on which of the maps lying around the house I’d become. I just hope I’d be a paper one (whether in a book or atlas, in one of those boxes over there, or hanging on one of these walls), rather than a digital one in this very laptop. No fun spending most of the time as an essentialy invisible mess of stupid 1s and 0s. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/176 "2012-08-20T10:27:54Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > Not much differnce at all. _Quiet applause_ Well done. Now please excuse me while I go stimulate some immune responses. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/177 "2012-08-20T10:54:04Z")
[I’m good.](http://s226.photobucket.com/albums/dd313/Ash51a/?action=view¤t=bpc0123.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/178 "2012-08-20T11:12:33Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > I guess I’m like the black dude in Police Academy, but with no other way to communicate. > > Kill me. - - I mean RATATATATATAT! AHHH! Crash. Slump. ☹ More like [Gerald McBoingBoing](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_McBoing-Boing_(TV_series)). Which would still be irritating in real life. Me, I’m a verb so I have no idea how that’d translate. Maybe I’d be an excellent dancer. Or just really dizzy. ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/179 "2012-08-20T12:12:27Z")
I suppose that the creation of my username would simply cause this whole process to cease. Or maybe the world to stop. Or just Micheal Bay movies. Take your pick. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956/180 "2012-08-20T12:30:12Z")
I’m Cal Meacham! I’m tall, dark, handsome, and have a DEEP VOICE. I get credit for defeating bug-eyed explosed-brain Mutants even when I don’t actually do anything.I can fly a jet plane or a prop plane, and I make out with brainy women. And I can build an Interociter from scratch! Life is good! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magical-sound-effect-you-are-now-your-username-how-screwed-are-you/631956.md?page=10)