# Magically, anything you say will be believed by any hearer. What do you do with it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823 "2012-10-15T22:10:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/1 "2012-10-15T22:10:17Z")
By the usual absurd magical means, you gain the power to be utterly convincing in any oral utterance. You may, if you wish, immediately renounce this power, or keep it indefinitely. Here are the rules: [ol] [li] The power is automatic but can be turned off by an act of will on your part.[/li][li] The power is specifically oral, not verbal. If, by the power of speech, you tell another person that the sky is red, that person will see a scarlet sky and will nt be convinced by the testimony of others. Contrariwise, if you \*write \*that ridiculous statement, the auditor will naturally think you’re full of shit.[/li][li] A statement need not be a lie for the power to work. Tell Richard Dawkins that the humanity was created from dust by god yclept Yahweh, and he’ll believe it. Tell Michael Behe that intelligent design is a crock and he’ll believe it.[/li][li] The power only applies to persons you speak to in person. Amplifying your voice via microphone will work, but only if the auditor can see you (not an image of you) while you are speaking. Recordings and video transmissions lose the effect entirely.[/li][li] The power applies to allegations of fact, not normative statements or expressions of the auditor’s emotional state. That is, statements of the form “You should do X,” “You may do Y,” even “You feel Z” will have no more effect than normal. You can tell the comely married chick whose affections you covet that her husband is cheating on her, and she’ll believe you. You can tell her that you love her, and she’ll believe you. If she _already believes_ that those two facts make it okay to fuck you, she might; but if she’s not attracted to you, or she strongly believes that having sex with you would still be wrong until she gets a divorce, she’s keeping her pants on. (Of course, you can indirectly influence someone’s emotional state by making a given statement they are compelled to believe.)[/li][li] The effect lasts indefinitely, but the spell can be broken by you yourself. If you tell an auditor different, mutually contradictory statements, she or he will no longer be under your power on that issue (though other statements you’ve told them will still be in effect.)[/li][/ol] Do you keep this power? Renounce it at once? Do you think you could find a way to use it for good? Would you even _try_ to use it for good? ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/2 "2012-10-15T22:31:28Z")
Voted for both “Hell, yes” answers (what can I say, guy’s gotta eat! :D) as well as for “other” – that being the possibility that I believe the power is unethical but I’m keeping it anyway! I did **not** vote for learning what “auditor” can mean, since I already knew that (you believe me, right? :p) Oh, and if I factually tell the hot chick that we’re going to meet at the nearest motel in one hour and have hot monkey sex, she’ll believe that, too… Right? Or that she will go blind unless she fucks me **now**. Yeah, I’m keeping it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/3 "2012-10-15T22:34:21Z")
Banks? No. SEX! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/4 "2012-10-15T22:37:45Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > I did **not** vote for learning what “auditor” can mean, since I already knew that (you believe me, right? :p) Fool of a Took! You wrote it down; you didn’t utter it. Anyway, \*we are not in the same room. - > [@](#): > > Oh, and if I factually tell the hot chick that we’re going to meet at the nearest motel in one hour and have hot monkey sex, she’ll believe that, too… Right? You know, I hadn’t thought of statements of that type. I think I will rule that it won’t work. It’s basically a prescriptive statement in descriptive clothing. > [@](#): > > Or that she will go blind unless she fucks me **now**. > Yeah, I’m keeping it. 😉 Now that will work, in a way. That is, if she declines to fuck you she will perceive herself as being blind, which obviously means that she’ll be, ah, “hysterically” blind. (Really bad word in context." But she still won’t be compelled to have sex with you; she can decide she would rather go blind. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/5 "2012-10-15T22:49:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a Took! You wrote it down; you didn’t utter it. Anyway, _we are not in the same room._ At least you’re consistent! 🙂 > [@](#): > > You know, I hadn’t thought of statements of that type. I think I will rule that it won’t work. It’s basically a prescriptive statement in descriptive clothing. Now this, OTOH… not really consistent. Especially not with what you write below. I mean, what will the result be when the time comes and she realizes that something I told her _is not factual as it must be?_ > [@](#): > > Now that will work, in a way. That is, if she declines to fuck you she will perceive herself as being blind, which obviously means that she’ll be, ah, “hysterically” blind. (Really bad word in context." But she still won’t be compelled to have sex with you; she can decide she would rather go blind. I’m not **that** picky. I’ll take my chances that I may have to approach 2 or even 3 women in order for it to work whenever I feel the urge 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/6 "2012-10-15T22:52:36Z")
I could do a lot of good using this power while talking to groups of students. If they believe they are good and worthy individuals with much to contribute to the world, I may be able to help drop teen suicide rates. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/7 "2012-10-15T22:54:42Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > At least you’re consistent! 🙂 Take that back. > [@the same guy I just quoted.](#): > > > [@me](#): > > > > You know, I hadn’t thought of statements of that type. I think I will rule that it won’t work. It’s basically a prescriptive statement in descriptive clothing. > > Now this, OTOH… not really consistent. Especially not with what you write below. I mean, what will the result be when the time comes and she realizes that something I told her _is not factual as it must be?_ As I wrote above, I hadn’t considered questions like this; I wrote the OP on the fly. I’m not sure how a sentence of that sort would be classified. > [@](#): > > I’m not **that** picky. I’ll take my chances that I may have to approach 2 or even 3 women in order for it to work whenever I feel the urge 😉 :: shrug :: As long as you’re comfortable with your own eternal damnation, I can’t see any reason I should interfere. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/8 "2012-10-15T23:00:42Z")
“Everything I tell you is a lie …” ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/9 "2012-10-15T23:08:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Take that back. Come over here and say that to my face. Do **not** attempt to do this with ear-plugs! :mad: > [@](#): > > As long as you’re comfortable with your own eternal damnation, I can’t see any reason I should interfere. St. Peter: You’ve been a naughty boy, haven’t you? Me: You don’t exist St. Peter: ::disappears in a puff of logic:: Me: ::Gets run over at the next Zebra Crossing after telling myself Black is White:: ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/10 "2012-10-15T23:15:00Z")
Just an aside, the OP actually happens (and is the case and whole premise, basically) for the movie [The Invention of Lying](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1058017/). Pretty funny, just saw it recently. I think I’d probably do what the main character did in that movie…I’d definitely accept the gift and then probably use it for both good and self-serving purposes here and there. ---
**Author:** ![Mnemnosyne](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mnemnosyne/32/3347_2.png) [@Mnemnosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnemnosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/11 "2012-10-15T23:22:52Z")
I’d keep it and both be selfish and try to do good. One thing I would be very careful of is when it’s active; I would keep it ‘off’ most of the time and only engage it on very specific occasions, for two reasons. One, I don’t want a casual misstatement to cause everyone within earshot to believe lies I didn’t intentionally want them to, and second, it increases the chances that I’ll give contradictory statements and nullify my ability on that topic. By very carefully turning it on only at specific times, I can minimize the chances that I’ll ever give contradictory statements. As to how to use it…that’d require a lot of experimenting and testing. For instance, if I were to use it to convince people in political office of things I consider to be true, the question of how much this would actually affect their behavior comes up. Do most politicians act on their beliefs, or are they acting regardless of their beliefs? What about giving a statement on the correct thing to do? I’m not saying the auditor should do a particular thing specifically, but I am saying that the thing I am suggesting is the factually, objectively correct thing to do in a particular situation. “The right thing to do would be to pass a law prohibiting…” The person should, by that statement, be convinced that’s the correct thing to do (perhaps refine the statement slightly by suggesting it’s the morally or ethically correct thing to do, or some other specific identifier) although they may still behave contrary to what they now perceive to be correct, right? What if I make a factual statement about someone else’s knowledge? By the wording in the OP, I can spontaneously grant knowledge that didn’t exist: “You have complete knowledge and understanding of how gravity functions in our universe, and the capacity to explain it to others and show proof of your assertions.” That’s a statement of fact, and it doesn’t require them to do any of the things I suggested, it simply states that they have the knowledge and capacity. Or perhaps for something a little less monumental, if there were someone I trusted to act as proxy for me in a situation, I could state “You know exactly what I would do in this situation.” so that they have the knowledge needed to act as my proxy. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/12 "2012-10-15T23:28:38Z")
I already _have_ that power to a degree, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/13 "2012-10-15T23:54:46Z")
Other: I’m ditching this power because this (almost) never ends well. There’s usually yelling and screaming and people with pitchforks and torches and those big wooden “T” things and I just don’t want to go there. Although there was that one episode of Smallville… ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/14 "2012-10-16T00:17:46Z")
I’d ask Donald Trump and the Koch brothers for the $200 million they owe me. I’d also find people with serious emotional problems and tell them they are calm, whole and safe. So both good and bad. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/15 "2012-10-16T00:24:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d also find people with serious emotional problems and tell them they are calm, whole and safe. This sounds dangerous, to me: They might retain their emotional state, but believe that that emotional state _is_ calm. With the result that any further attempts to calm them will only make them worse. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/16 "2012-10-16T00:28:56Z")
Of course I’d keep it as long as I can use it at will. I would just turn it off but have it in reserve in cases where I’d need it. I might never use it but I’m going to feel stupid if I’m ever dealing with a hostage situation and I realize I’d needlessly thrown away the power to resolve it peacefully. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/17 "2012-10-16T00:37:00Z")
I selected both the “good” and “not so good” versions of using it, but it occursed to me - can I convince people who speak other languages (even if I have to go through an interpreter)? If not then a lot of my doing good plans will be on hold… ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/18 "2012-10-16T00:39:46Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > This sounds dangerous, to me: They might retain their emotional state, but believe that that emotional state _is_ calm. With the result that any further attempts to calm them will only make them worse. Don’t worry about that, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/19 "2012-10-16T00:40:55Z")
If I understand the OP correctly telling people “You like me! You really really like me!” isn’t going to work? I’m keeping it though. I’m taking my cue from **Antigen** and **Wesley Clark**. I’ll go everywhere telling everyone they are worthy and important and will do good in the world, that they are calm and safe and that everyone is a good dancer. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823/20 "2012-10-16T01:16:38Z")
How wonder how long it would take to tour the world to tell everyone on the planet with in earshot and eyesight that God isn’t real? And, if you were to acomplish such a feat, what would be the end result? Oh yeah, I’d tell the Koch brothers that if they don’t stay out of politics, they will die. Also, pay me 20mil a month, or die. (Thanks **Wesley** ) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/magically-anything-you-say-will-be-believed-by-any-hearer-what-do-you-do-with-it/637823.md?page=2)