# Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: "I'll end terrorism for only $1 billion!" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 4, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356 "2002-07-04T14:44:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/1 "2002-07-04T14:44:12Z")
[http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/04/maharishi.peace.ap/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/04/maharishi.peace.ap/index.html) > [@](#): > > Maharishi said that with $1 billion he could train 40,000 expert meditators, or “Vedic Pandits,” who would generate enough good vibes to save the world. I tell you what. Give ME the billion smackers, I’ll bet I’ll generate enough good vibes to save the friggin’ UNIVERSE. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/2 "2002-07-04T14:47:40Z")
A bargain; I’ll take it! Cash on delivery I assume? ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/3 "2002-07-04T15:48:47Z")
I can’t personally save it **forever** , but I \*\* can\*\* save it on a short-term basis over the next fifty years or so. Just leave me an envelope with $1000 in small, unmarked bills each morning and I’ll personally guarantee that the universe will be saved at least through the next day. Double your money back if I fail. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/4 "2002-07-04T17:02:13Z")
It’s just a scam so Maharishi Mahesh Yogi can get a pic-a-nic basket, eh Boo-Boo? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/5 "2002-07-04T17:32:57Z")
$25,000 to train one Vedic Pandit? And I thought Microsoft courses were pricey… ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/6 "2002-07-04T23:54:25Z")
Why go with Yogi when you could go with me? Buy American!! In addition to saving the world from terrorism I’ll also protect it from alien invaders at no additional cost. Guar-run-teed. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/7 "2002-07-05T01:31:44Z")
But with so many yogic flyers bouncing about, air traffic control would be chaos. ---
**Author:** ![jovan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/0ea827/32.png) [@jovan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/8 "2002-07-05T08:15:55Z")
I think a few words from John Lennon are appropriate: > [@](#): > > Maharishi you’ll get yours yet > However big you think you are > However big you think you are > Maharishi ooh you’ll get yours yet > We gave you everything we owned just to sit at your table > Just a smile would lighten everything > Maharishi he’s the latest and the greatest of them all ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/9 "2002-07-05T15:18:06Z")
YOU FOOLS. You should be paying me the $1,000,000,000 or else I send out enough BAD thought waves to crush the world. To demonstrate my powers I will block out the sun for Southern Africa on December 4, 2002. After that if I don’t get my money. I’ll blow it up! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/10 "2002-07-05T18:33:31Z")
Southern Africa or the sun? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/11 "2002-07-05T18:39:59Z")
Y’know, 1 billion to never ever hear Celine Dion, N’Sync, Britney Spears and their ilk would be something I’d chip in for. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/12 "2002-07-05T22:50:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Efrem \* > \*\*YOU FOOLS. You should be paying me the $1,000,000,000 or else I send out enough BAD thought waves to crush the world. > > To demonstrate my powers I will block out the sun for Southern Africa on December 4, 2002. After that if I don’t get my money. I’ll blow it up! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA \*\* Piffle. Do not believe this poseur! Unless you give ME the $1,000,000,000. I can crush the world FAR better than Evil Efrem. Evil Efrem can cause an eclipse on a predesignated day. That is so pathetic that it is to laugh (and I do…Bwahahahahaha!) I on the other hand, as a demonstration of my might, will cause there to be strife in the Middle East! And change history so there always WAS strife in the Middle East! Submit… or PERISH! Fiendish Fenris ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/13 "2002-07-05T23:49:50Z")
It’s strange that he knows exactly how many “Vedic Pandits” it will take to save the world. What mathmatical formula did he use calculate the good vibe capacity of each meditator? Will each Vedic Pandit be certified by the spiritual equivalent of UL? Does this include backup meditators in case something happens to some of them? What about a guarantee against errors in training these experts? Spiritual coding errors if you will. Will the world have to upgrade to Vedic Pandit 2.0 a few years later? Such a massive project will require some time; does he have a delivery date in mind for world peace? Are there financial penalties to himself if he does not deliver on schedule? What about cost overruns? ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/14 "2002-07-06T00:01:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darwin’s Finch \* > \*\*Southern Africa or the sun? \*\* BOTH! Mwahahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/15 "2002-07-06T00:40:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Efrem \* > \*\*BOTH! Mwahahahahaha \*\* You ARE evil. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/16 "2002-07-06T02:02:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \* > \*\*You ARE evil. 😃 \*\* Not only am I Evil (with a capital ‘E’), but I am not soon to be outdone by **Fiendish Fenris** and his fake feat of retroactive fear. For I call on this fellow to a face-off on February fourth, and after this fast and fatal fight we will finally find out which fear is first. Is it Fiendish Fenris’ with his farce of a false fable of frightening feats, or Efrem with his fearsome (and firm) flare for fire. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/17 "2002-07-06T02:13:57Z")
We in the cosmic elite have always been amused by the Maharishi, like you might be affectionate towards a mildly retarded kid brother you let hang around with you and your cool friends. He is convinced a simple and charming precept: meditation is, by its fundamental nature, enlightening, and hence, positive, morally lifting, etc. In truth, meditation is more a procedure, a form of mental hygiene that is only associated with holiness and profundity because of its practitioners, not due to any inherent metaphysical effect of meditation. Hence, a samarai warrior who is adept at _za-zen_ remains a very dangerous mo-fo. Further, he is a focused, clear-minded very dangerous mo-fo. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/18 "2002-07-06T03:19:32Z")
What the FUCK is a Vedic Pandit? (pardon my french…) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/19 "2002-07-06T03:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Efrem \* > \*\*Not only am I Evil (with a capital ‘E’), but I am not soon to be outdone by **Fiendish Fenris** and his fake feat of retroactive fear. For I call on this fellow to a face-off on February fourth, and after this fast and fatal fight we will finally find out which fear is first. Is it Fiendish Fenris’ with his farce of a false fable of frightening feats, or Efrem with his fearsome (and firm) flare for fire. \*\* Fah. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356/20 "2002-07-06T03:30:26Z")
errrr… Feh! Fool! I cry foul! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maharishi-mahesh-yogi-ill-end-terrorism-for-only-1-billion/117356.md?page=2)