# Mail order bride & sour honey **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 19, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547 "2003-09-19T04:23:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/101 "2003-09-26T02:06:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > _\_ Now, _that_ was fucking (literally) funny! Good one! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Great Unwashed \* > I _think_ I get your point, but reverse the genders, would the same not be true? And _that_ was easily one of the more important points in this whole thread. Lots has been said about trophy wives and boy toys. Neither of these are symptoms of healthy or appropriate pursuits. They are merely new code words for satyrism and nymphomania, both of which have always been lame excuses for a life. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/102 "2003-09-26T13:50:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by sailor_ > \*\*Some women have tried to play that game of acting like men and fucking everything in sight but the great majority do not find satisfaction in that. That kind of behavior leads to feeling empty and perhaps worthless even in men and much more so in women…_\_ > > I have never met a women under 35 who would go around fucking every guy in sight and who was well balanced and satisfied and happy. Generally they had low self esteem. Women generally need more emotional involvement than men so by trying to compete with men in doing what men do they are setting themselves up for failure just as if a man decided to compete with women by reading romance novels or doing whatever it is women like to do better than men.\*\* > > _Originally posted by Zenster_ > **Lots has been said about trophy wives and boy toys. Neither of these are symptoms of healthy or appropriate pursuits. They are merely new code words for satyrism and nymphomania, both of which have always been lame excuses for a life.** I dunno, you guys, I think this is kind of a sad way of looking at it. There are all kinds of degrees in the seriousness of man/woman more-than-friendships, from eternally meaningful, soul-satisfying erotic partnership to friendly, fun romantic time with someone you’re attracted to. I think women can understand these gradations as well as men do. My point was that women are as entitled to recreational, no-strings-attached fun as men are, no more, no less. I’m not talking about women “acting like men” and “fucking everything in sight”. :rolleyes: Mostly I was responding to **Winston Smith** ’s entrepreneurial vision of a website where people of such a mind might find one another in a non-judgemental setting. And I might add, for the record, that I’m interested as an aspiring web developer only! Someone who read this thread and didn’t post to it (let’s just call her **Lurky Lurkenstein from Lurkytown** ) has suggested that my post could be interpreted as a wish to become someone’s boy-toy. I ain’t no boy, and I make a much better playmate than a toy. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/103 "2003-09-26T17:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sailor \* > \*\*I have never met a women under 35 who would go around fucking every guy in sight and who was well balanced and satisfied and happy. Generally they had low self esteem. \*\* In honesty - have you ever met a man who goes around fucking every woman (or man, if he’s gay) in sight and is well balanced and satisfied and happy? I am open to the possibility of there genuinely being people that can serial shag - one night stands seven nights a week - for the sheer hedonism or physical pleasure or whatever, but I have yet to meet or hear of either a man or woman who does this and isn’t, IMO and according to general opinion, seriously fucked up. Whether it’s low self-esteem, egomania, misogyny - given relentless serial fucking is an unhealthy and unsocial practice for either gender (albeit somewhat more so for women, given current cultural double-standards) perhaps it’s not surprising that no “normal”, balanced people really do it. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/104 "2003-09-26T21:49:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\*Mostly I was responding to **Winston Smith** ’s entrepreneurial vision of a website where people of such a mind might find one another in a non-judgemental setting. And I might add, for the record, that I’m interested as an aspiring web developer only! Someone who read this thread and didn’t post to it (let’s just call her **Lurky Lurkenstein from Lurkytown** ) has suggested that my post could be interpreted as a wish to become someone’s boy-toy. I ain’t no boy, and I make a much better playmate than a toy. \*\* In defense of **Ms. Lurkenstein** , someone that isn’t WebDev-savvy might not have picked up on the ASP and PHP bits. 😛 And I’m sure that she didn’t mean to imply that you were a boy or anyone’s toy. Just a simple misunderstanding. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/105 "2003-09-26T23:24:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > **In honesty - have you ever met a man who goes around fucking every woman in sight and is well balanced and satisfied and happy?** Joey Tribbiani. (sp?) 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > **I am open to the possibility of there genuinely being people that can serial shag - one night stands seven nights a week - for the sheer hedonism or physical pleasure or whatever, but I have yet to meet or hear of either a man or woman who does this and isn’t, IMO and according to general opinion, seriously fucked up.** Might I recommend The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. IMO this book was not written by people who are fucked up. And anyway, hasn’t the Straight Dope already covered the topic of nymphomania/satyriasis? ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/106 "2003-09-27T06:39:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*As co-signers, I say you lay claim to right of first night. \*\* And a big **HUZZAH** to slortar for that fine, fine wit! 😃 I’m sorry you got stung. You tried to be compassionate and it threw up in your face (Bubba=alcoholic to me). This is a learning experience that really sucks GOAT BUTT! Personally, I’d torture him by killing his bees and then kickin’ his ass! Beekeeper… :rolleyes: It takes all kinds _big sigh_, right? ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/107 "2003-09-27T10:39:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Wealth can make quasimodo attractive. I am a rich man by Ukranian or Russian standards. Why would I not want to share my assets/life with someone that appreciates them the most. Not to restate the whole nice guy debate, but how many of these guys looking for Russian women aren’t exactly model material themselves? What do you call it when a guy demands from a woman a standard he doesn’t meet himself? The guys I’ve seen—on trip after trip all over the Soviet Union—ranged from unoffensive to outright appalling. The women were never less than attractive. Many of them were more than that. And to turn the whole ‘quasimodo’ thing on its head, I’ve got a couple of guy friends who are pretty—well-- homely by any standard. But they’re the sweetest guys you could ever meet. And they have no problem with women—Of course, they treat women who _aren’t_ stunning beauties like people. Can’t imagine why women find that attractive. I get the feeling from the bride buying guys I’ve seen that first, to get decent treatment you have to be a ‘traditional’ women—meaning, obediant and non-threatening and docile—and then you have to be gorgeous. If you don’t meet these standards, at best you’re invisible. At worst, you’re the object of ‘these damned American women’ type of bitching. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/108 "2003-09-29T16:32:08Z")
Good News! This day came Bubba bearing a paper writing. More correctly, papers plural, said papers being hundred dollar bills in an amount sufficient to repay the loan, interest, and closing costs I incurred in borrowing the $3000 for him. YES! It seems Bubba had some “other honey” that he had delivered to a different buyer, and this buyer paid him off this morning. As a reward for “being neighborly”, Bubba gave me a gallon of honey. This was special Kudzu honey, which according to Bubba is extra nice. Actually, it’s as black as molasses. Who would place bee-hives in a Kudzu patch? For the uninitiate, Kudzu flowers are purple, and they smell “purple”, if you can follow that. While the honey from such flowers is very dark, it also tastes purple. UGH! Maybe I can think of a way to use it on trick-or-treat night. Update on the mail order bride: According to Bubba, it’s all Good To Go. He’s supposed to leave for Russia the last week in October for his get acquainted trip. If all goes well (and how could it not?) he’ll stay there for two weeks, come back home for a time to make sure about this, then go back sometime in late December or early January to get married and bring the Blushing Bride[sup]**TM[/sup]** back home. Bubba’s already got big plans for her. Since she’s arriving in the middle of winter there won’t be much to do in the apiary. Bubba’s busy right now overhauling his sluice-boat, which has been moldering under a pine tree for several years now. See, it’s possible to pan gold out of the river and streams hereabouts. If a person works hard and finds a good spot, a full eight-hour day’s work may yield as much as $10 worth of gold. Not very rewarding. However, Bubba, being possessed of the entrepreneurial spirit and more to the point, unwilling to work for others, ordered the makings for a floating sluice boat a few years back. The apparatus has a suction hose that pumps sand and gravel to the top and separates the gold down a sluice. Since it takes two people to work the thing efficiently, and Bubba’s source of free labor played out as soon as the novelty wore off, Bubba parked the boat as soon as he’d dredged up enough gold to pay for it. Now, however, he’ll have some assistance! Bubba intends for 'Lissa (his pronunciation), to spend her first two or three months in the States standing knee-deep in near freezing water working the suction hose while he does the “technical stuff”, high and dry on the boat. This will be interesting to watch. I’ll provide a full report if or when the Blushing Bride arrives. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/109 "2003-09-29T16:41:54Z")
I have to move down South. The people there are so much more interesting than they are up here. I’m glad you got your money back, **JCoM**. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/110 "2003-09-29T18:53:55Z")
Nice to hear that there was a happy ending to this rather entertaining vignette. Let’s all hope that gal in Russia feels the same way once she gets here. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/111 "2003-09-29T20:08:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Carter of Mars \* > **As a reward for “being neighborly”, Bubba gave me a gallon of honey. This was special Kudzu honey, which according to Bubba is extra nice. Actually, it’s as black as molasses. Who would place bee-hives in a Kudzu patch? For the uninitiate, Kudzu flowers are purple, and they smell “purple”, if you can follow that. While the honey from such flowers is very dark, it also tastes purple. UGH! Maybe I can think of a way to use it on trick-or-treat night.** Not that I have any experience with Kudzu honey but I suggest you try cooking with it. A bit of Kudzu honey barbecue sauce, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/112 "2003-09-29T21:03:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\*I have to move down South. The people there are so much more interesting than they are up here. > > \*\* Indeed they are. 😃 **John Carter of Mars** , I’m also glad that you got your money back. This has been a very entertaining thread. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/113 "2003-10-09T22:36:10Z")
I usually don’t resurrect threads, but I’m dying to hear news on the Russian bride front. Any progress? ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/114 "2003-10-09T22:43:15Z")
Ohh, thanks for the bump, **pugluvr** ; I missed the “Bubba done ponied up” entry. C’mon, **JCoM** , tell us about the Russian gold-sluicing bride! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/115 "2003-10-09T23:53:22Z")
Let’s discuss the finer points learnt here: \*\*Beekeeping is not in the same tax bracket as say Allen Greenspan’s job. Bee stings can perk you right up! The economic situation and legal system in the former USSR have left women basically bent over looking for some KY and desperate to change their lives by entering into marriages for a few years until their feet are firmly planted on the ground. In order for the mail order bride paper work to work, the man has to go over there and meet her. Apparently sending for her via Fed Ex is not an option. Some mail order marriages actually work out. Some mail order marriages actually are a slave/maid trade off until the little woman gets her citizenship. Co-signing a loan with a man who’s only source of employment is a seasonal job that scares the willies off of most people can be construed as Borderline Insanity. There is gold in the rivers in Alabama! But not enough to support my (or anyone’s) Livin’ Large style. The biggest source of entertain in that neck of woods is the arrival of Fred’s bull. No word on how well hung it is. Bubba is gettin’ married and bringing the little missus back to Allybamy to sluice fer gold and every is purty durn excited about it all. (God, do I want to be there for the big arrival of this woman!) And, most of all, when we eat a twinkie, we are eating Bubba’s honey. \*\* Did I miss anything? **John Carter of Bubbaville** You need to capture this event on a webcam! Please, please, please! ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/116 "2003-10-10T00:04:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*And, most of all, when we eat a twinkie, we are eating Bubba’s honey. \*\* But wouldn’t that be… No. No, I just can’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/117 "2003-10-10T00:16:28Z")
A little somethin’ for [da ladies](http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/order/) ---
**Author:** ![Never\_to\_be\_Queen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Never\_to\_be\_Queen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Never_to_be_Queen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/118 "2003-10-10T00:19:19Z")
This is too funny; and you write really well. You should make it into a short story and send it to a magazine. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/119 "2003-10-10T02:41:01Z")
**Shirley** , that site is a joke… right?:eek: ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547/120 "2003-10-10T03:14:32Z")
Thanks, **Never to be Queen**! Quoted from my post above: “According to Bubba, it’s all Good To Go. He’s supposed to leave for Russia the last week in October for his get acquainted trip. If all goes well (and how could it not?) he’ll stay there for two weeks, come back home for a time to make sure about this, then go back sometime in late December or early January to get married and bring the Blushing Bride back home.” When this goes down (oops, develops) I’ll see that y’all are updated. As far as cooking with the Kudzu honey goes, **Jeff Olsen** suggested that I make BBQ sauce with it. I tried that, and it did OK. Only made the pork chops taste _slightly_ purple. Pretty good otherwise. How well was Fred’s bull hung? According to the Beef Cattle Improvement papers that came with him, the bull’s scrotal circumference was 38 cm. at 15 months of age. (That’s well above average, dear and faithful readers) Additionally, casual observation determines him to be well hung. Web cam? That’s something I hadn’t considered. OK, I’ll be thinkin’ along those lines. After all this, everybody deserves a picture! It’ll have to be a picture of the Happy Couple. A LOT of the picture’s message would be lost if Bubba wasn’t included… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride-sour-honey/202547.md?page=7)