# Mail Order Bride **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 15, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430 "2001-08-15T19:22:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Caldazar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Caldazar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caldazar)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430/21 "2001-08-16T23:15:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by No\_one\_at\_the\_Tiller \* > \*\*Two friends of mine are married to Oriental women and love the way they get treated and respond back in kind. Both enjoy the quiet way the women argue with them, without being loud and brassy like many American women get and how the women seem to think of them first in most areas, again something many American women have abandoned. \*\* While it’s always dangerous to speak in generalities, my personal experiences and observations of traditional Chinese relationships most certainly do not bear this out. In a family unit, it’s been my experience that the women are usually the more dominant gender. It is they that primarily set the rules of the household, make decisions affecting the family unit, etc… In public settings, the man is more likely to “represent” the couple in the sense that he will usually engage in conversation with a group more often, e.g. “Where did you go for vacation?” Man: “Well, we visited…”; “What car did you end up getting?” Man: “We purchased…” It may just appear that the women are quiet and non-argumentative in public because Chinese culture really frowns upon making large scenes in public; it’s simply not considered socially acceptable to start up arguments in a social setting under any circumstances. However, behind closed doors it’s a very different story. I’ve seen many situations where, at first glance, it appears that the woman is filling the “dutiful wife” role; she’ll do the cleaning, she’ll prepare all the meals for her husband, she’ll do the shopping and the laundry. It seems to fit the stereotype pretty well until you find out that she’s also deciding for her husband what he will be having for his meal and what clothes he will be wearing without any input from him at all. The woman isn’t thinking of her man first, she’s simply trying to run a household. Oriental women aren’t “loud and brassy”? Some aren’t, sure. But then again, some are. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430/22 "2001-08-16T23:29:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by No\_one\_at\_the\_Tiller \* > \*\* > Sometimes, you know, even I start wondering how it might be … because I find many Oriental women exotic and attractive as heck with their almond eyes, shiny, jet black hair and petite stature… hmmmm. Now where did those catalogues go? \*\* But so few Asian women have poofy hair! ---
**Author:** ![onnanohito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@onnanohito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onnanohito)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430/23 "2001-08-17T01:16:40Z")
Its sad but true… we …uhh… call it a ‘international personals service’ though. Most of these guys are hopeless old goobers out for the perfect, tiny submissive woman who will cook and clean for them… having talked to a few of these guys over the phone, i can understand why they aren’t w/ american women. most of the women find that living half way around the world is preferable to living w/ the men from their countries… ( one woman from russia called russian men, “spineless and indecisive”.) many of them want to find a sugar daddy to help finance their educations… they all want american men!! i have no idea why… (sorry guys…) \ but if you’d like to see one of the oldest American spots–\> check out [http://www.cherry-blossoms.com](http://www.cherry-blossoms.com) ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430/24 "2001-08-17T01:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Mr. Duality \* > \*\* Elizabeth Barret and Robert Browning (the famous literary figures) had an epistolographic courtship._\* That’s very true, but you have to remember the rest of the story. Elizabeth Barret refused to marry Robert Browning until he had his nasty bout of epistolographiasis cured with sulfa treatments. She was no fool. 😃 😃 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mail-order-bride/76430.md?page=1)