# Mailing Your Boss a Turd – Legal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 19, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997 "2002-03-19T05:20:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/1 "2002-03-19T05:20:47Z")
[link deleted] is a website that, for a mere $32.50, promises to take a crap in a box and send it off to the victim of your choosing. They provide a fabricated return address, so it is impossible to trace back to you. It appears to be a legitimate site. I also found a website called [link deleted], which offers up a similar service, only they use a turd _bag_, and apparently pass the savings along to the consumer (only $14.95). How can this be legal? Are there any federal laws that would prohibit someone from sending fecal matter through the USPS? Would using such a service put you at any risk of being fined/jailed/sued? More importantly, is there any way to confirm that the turd was actually _received_ by the victim, without implicating yourself or raising suspicion? ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/2 "2002-03-19T05:27:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cynic \* > \*\*[link deleted] is a website that, for a mere $32.50, promises to take a crap in a box and send it off to the victim of your choosing. They provide a fabricated return address, so it is impossible to trace back to you. It appears to be a legitimate site. > > I also found a website called [link deleted], which offers up a similar service, only they use a turd _bag_, and apparently pass the savings along to the consumer (only $14.95). > > How can this be legal? Are there any federal laws that would prohibit someone from sending fecal matter through the USPS? Would using such a service put you at any risk of being fined/jailed/sued? > > More importantly, is there any way to confirm that the turd was actually _received_ by the victim, without implicating yourself or raising suspicion? \*\* I don’t know but I have the definite feeling that sending excrement of any kind through the mail is illegal. Probably classed as a hazardous material because of health reasons. And don’t kid yourself that website owners can, or will, protect your privacy in case something illegal is done. Just today a whole bunch of people were arrested on child pornography charges and they were all traced by the FBI through the use of websites. A subpoena is hard, and damned expensive, to resist. Why should a website owner resist when he (or she) is already in trouble for committing an illegal act? ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/3 "2002-03-19T05:41:44Z")
I somehow doubt if it is illegal, yet. You know one of those things that has never come up to get a law passed against doing. I assume you want to know about the delivery, so that you can somehow revel in the knowledge. I read a book once on famous practice jokes and it stated that the true practical joker does not want to know exactly what happened. They do it and then sit around thinking about all the possible outcomes. You would probably be better of going by this principle. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/4 "2002-03-19T11:12:13Z")
I deleted the links from the posts above. I don’t know if it’s illegal, but I ain’t taking any chances. bibliophage moderator GQ Thank God nobody here knows my address. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/5 "2002-03-19T11:31:51Z")
My PO has a big sign about the things you aren’t allowed to mail, and one of the things on the list is biological matter- like blood, body parts, and, presumably, poop. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/6 "2002-03-19T14:09:33Z")
I searched on [this page at the USPS website](http://new.usps.com/cgi-bin/uspsbv/scripts/content.jsp?D=24845&B=-10616), and did not see any _specific_ mention of human waste, feces, or excrement. (Warning - big link above - slow connections beware) ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/7 "2002-03-19T15:27:32Z")
No, the USPS doesn’t mention human excrement specifically, but the restrictions on what you can and can’t mail are probably broad enough to cover somebody sending you a box of dumpage. It’s biological material and it’s also crawling with contaigon, so the postal inspector would probably have little trouble zinging you for sending infectious material or biological products. So don’t do it-send him a dozen dead roses or a dead fish instead. Maybe a box of chocolate-covered pearl onions, perhaps? Zap! Appropriate signature follows. . . ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/8 "2002-03-19T17:05:43Z")
Impersonating an Orifice? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/9 "2002-03-19T22:03:45Z")
Faking a return address is illegal isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/10 "2002-03-19T22:37:17Z")
It is hazardous biological material, and subject to special shipping and labelling requirements, including listing the contents on the exterior, or a packing list accessible from the exterior. As far as I know, if it is packaged and shipped properly, _shipping_ it is NOT a crime. So the question might as easily be, are you committing a crime if you shit in a box in your boss’s office (this way, you remove the issue of transport :p)? I don’t really have a clue. If you do it while he/she is out of the office, I wouldn’t think you’d be liable for any kind of public indecency charge. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/11 "2002-03-19T23:06:58Z")
Oh, & you expect that the FBI wouldn’t also find this website, visit the people doing it & be able to trace where they sent stuff? Hmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Mondeo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mondeo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mondeo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/12 "2002-03-19T23:10:35Z")
Maybe they mail through FedEx or UPS or some private courier! Did the ads specify USPS? ---
**Author:** ![Polski\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Polski\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polski_King)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/13 "2002-03-20T01:55:38Z")
Dude, $35?? All you hafta do is take a crap in a box (You can handle that, right?) And drive up and place it in the guys mailbox, getting around the transportation matter. and its cheaper and no risk of the website crapper giving you up to the FBI or somthing =PK ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/14 "2002-03-20T02:16:34Z")
you would want to use someone elses poo. you don’t want to have the headlines read: “mad pooper found by fbi, he left a dna skid.” there was a case in upstate pa. someone gave a councilman a large jar of bovine manure labeled “the bs stops here.” the councilman thought it was a “hoot” and placed it prominatly in his office… where a ray or two of sunshine could hit it. the manure was not “cured” and gathered heat from the sun… and KABOOM!!! the manure burst out of it’s container, splattering all in its path. there was also a bit of a fire. they decided that the person who gave the jar was not a terrorist, or out to get the councilman, just a guy who didn’t know the power of manure. be very careful when giving the gift of manure. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mailing-your-boss-a-turd-legal/98997/15 "2002-03-20T03:49:22Z")
C’mon! The website (yes, I have been to it before) hermetically seals the poo and packages it. There is no problems with mailing it. You’re safe. Next time we go deleting sites because they might contain something illegal, go after [thesmokinggun.com](http://thesmokinggun.com) . They publish police reports, which might detail how a pipebomb was made. Seriously, we have a lot more to worry about than medically sealed dog poo.