# Mainstream music makes the baby Jesus cry **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 28, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393 "2010-09-28T20:45:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/41 "2010-09-29T13:50:03Z")
> [@multimediac17](#): > > I was like “LOLOLOLOL” until I realised this was not a parody. > > Now I’m like “LOLOLOLOL” for different reasons, including but not limited to that hilarious list of band names. Care to help someone who just realized he must be much older than he thought to understand what’s so supremely comic? I’ve never heard of any of the bands listed, but I would probably be hard-pressed to recognize a list of current mainstream bands, either. My encyclopedic knowledge of popular music fell off a cliff sometime in the early 90’s. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/42 "2010-09-29T13:55:26Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > When you have bands like Sally Majestic, Hentai Improvising Orchestra, The Me-Thinks, The Burning Hotels, Blow Up The Moon, Trailer Park Princess, Stella Rose, Epic Ruins, Darth Vato, Katsük, Spoonfed Tribe, the Skin and Bones Drum Cult, Ginny Mac,….fuck it, the list can keep going and going without even a ‘hi Opal’ All those bands are drooling idiots banging on coffee cans and cowbells compared to the ultra-underground stylings of Oscar Grumman, Colorless Green Worms, Hippie Stick and the Amazing Fly Catchers, Snot-rokket, El Bastardo Sombrero, Zombie Weekday, and so many others. Shoot, I went to a local club last night that was like, TOTALLY EMPTY, as if nobody could even understand the beauty of juxtaposing silence with the lack of noise, and the use of invisibility was something that I’ve never seen in a band. I’d never heard of these guys before, but the marquee said “9/28 CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE.” I haven’t found them on iTunes, but I bet the press some good vinyl. You are so mainstream. ---
**Author:** ![Batfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Batfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batfish)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/43 "2010-09-29T14:17:18Z")
[quote=“bdgr, post:32, topic:555393”] > [@elmwood](#): > > …so many really good live bands, and the crap that acutally gets attention nationally … Don’t you get it, man? Man, if your favorite obscure indie fan gets national attention then they’re mainstream, man!! They’re THEM! Man! It’s like a catch-whadyacallit, man… Either way the man wins, man. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/44 "2010-09-29T14:23:38Z")
I think it’s generally a sign of getting old when you start bitching about music these days. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/45 "2010-09-29T14:41:43Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > oh no, I just think that 99% of the mainstream music of the last 1/2 decade is crap. Only the last 1/2 decade? Been a _lot_ longer than that. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/46 "2010-09-29T14:47:15Z")
I’m also confused as to why bands that only four people have ever heard of are not played on commercial radio. It just isn’t fair, I’m telling you. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/47 "2010-09-29T14:59:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Shoot, I went to a local club last night that was like, TOTALLY EMPTY, as if nobody could even understand the beauty of juxtaposing silence with the lack of noise, and the use of invisibility was something that I’ve never seen in a band. I’d never heard of these guys before, but the marquee said “9/28 CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE.” I haven’t found them on iTunes, but I bet the press some good vinyl. > > You are so mainstream. John Cage did it better. Ey, Pikey! Get a guitar! Make your own music! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/48 "2010-09-29T15:10:48Z")
And people wonder why I don’t listen to music. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/49 "2010-09-29T15:16:01Z")
_I heard you have a compilation of every good song ever done by anybody. Every great song by the Beach Boys. All the underground hits. All the Modern Lovers tracks. I heard you have a vinyl of every Niagra record on German import. I heard that you have a white label of every seminal Detroit techno hit - 1985, '86, '87. I heard that you have a CD compilation of every good '60s cut and another box set from the '70s…_ Losing My Edge - LCD Soundsystem (It’s pretty much the soundtrack to this thread). ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/50 "2010-09-29T15:18:59Z")
Myself, I enjoy making the baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/51 "2010-09-29T15:24:08Z")
Your musical tastes can’t be as sophisticated and discerning as you think if you left off: Japanese Nipples of Fury Bigot Magnet Sweet Blueberry Pancakes of Christ Nostril McBooger The New Vaginae Bobble-Headed Doll PeePaw’s Spit Can Sputum Tsunami Don’t you know this great music? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/52 "2010-09-29T15:52:10Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I’m also confused as to why bands that only four people have ever heard of are not played on commercial radio. > > It just isn’t fair, I’m telling you. Clear Channel is evil! Their stations would rather play old Journey songs, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears instead of quality bands like Stepping Worm, Speech Beat, Checkered Zombie, Slipping Devil, Canned Ache, Lewis and Clark LLC, The Hazard, Labrador Believer, The Red Stormy Guardians, The Big Mercury Major, Austin Death Trailer, Digital Bulldozers, Massive Stallions, The Cosmic Scoreboards, Red Rocket, The Silver Killers, The Tainted Poles, The Robert Taylor Project, Brave Nephews, The Wild Molesters, The Vital Plasticines, Don Cherry’s Jacket, Grotesque Soldiers, The Itch, The Stray Shaggers, Los Beammers, King Scissors, The Hidden Wolfram Commanders, Gamma Agents, Cobalt Trombones, The Frozen Vipers, Canyonero, The Vegetables, Persistent Invaders, Balloon Knot, Doggy Snakes, Mellow Sisters, Groin, Omega Omega, Brave Pineapples, The Dead Propellers, The Tunas, The Skin Flutes, Full Love, The Mercury Tigers, The Sleepy Giants, The Week, The Wild Rangers, Disco Sapphires, The Poseidon Butterflies, The Universal Remotes, Crying Summer, The Whitey Killers, Teal Generals, The Brigadiers, Anal Habitrail, The Hydrogen Giants, The Rebel Rubber Colonels and Angst Cart. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/53 "2010-09-29T16:01:06Z")
Omigod! No Vaginal Kevlar, Vulture Kibble, Granola Taxi, Armor Piercing Trout, or Penis Girdle? Philistines. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/54 "2010-09-29T16:22:48Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Omigod! No Vaginal Kevlar, Vulture Kibble, Granola Taxi, Armor Piercing Trout, or Penis Girdle? I saw Penis Girdle at the Poodle Dog Lounge in Austin. They were cool then. When I saw that they were playing at Emo’s a couple of months later, I knew that they had sold out and become just another corporate shill. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/55 "2010-09-29T16:31:02Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > John Cage did it better. But I think he was _visible._ These guys were so out there I couldn’t tell if the guy with the mop was part of the band! Now that’s underground. Actually, the non-music was so amazing it completely elevated me – above underground. The scene was totally ground. Maybe even slightly hovering. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/56 "2010-09-29T16:31:28Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > > [@jsgoddess](#): > > > > Omigod! No Vaginal Kevlar, Vulture Kibble, Granola Taxi, Armor Piercing Trout, or Penis Girdle? > > I saw Penis Girdle at the Poodle Dog Lounge in Austin. They were cool then. When I saw that they were playing at Emo’s a couple of months later, I knew that they had sold out and become just another corporate shill. Did you know they retitled “My Dank Underpants” as “My Dark Underpants” when they got out of the 10-seat venues and into the 12-seat ones? And the lyrics went from “can’t find **a** washer” to “can’t find **the** washer.” That’s exactly what Kenmore wants us to think. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/57 "2010-09-29T16:51:59Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Did you know they retitled “My Dank Underpants” as “My Dark Underpants” when they got out of the 10-seat venues and into the 12-seat ones? And the lyrics went from “can’t find **a** washer” to “can’t find **the** washer.” That’s exactly what Kenmore wants us to think. Bastards. Their drummer was so pissed off by selling out, and he took off and formed the Pus Nuggets, an emocore/twee/death metal band. I think I heard them practicing once in a mini-storage unit. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/58 "2010-09-29T17:11:39Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@multimediac17](#): > > > > I was like “LOLOLOLOL” until I realised this was not a parody. > > > > Now I’m like “LOLOLOLOL” for different reasons, including but not limited to that hilarious list of band names. > > Care to help someone who just realized he must be much older than he thought to understand what’s so supremely comic? I’ve never heard of any of the bands listed, but I would probably be hard-pressed to recognize a list of current mainstream bands, either. My encyclopedic knowledge of popular music fell off a cliff sometime in the early 90’s. People who complain about mainstream music and how it apparently has a lack of creativity, too commercial etc. are sometimes (but certainly not always) wankers who attempt to be cool by listening to obscure bands so they can feel good/superior about listening to music nobody else has ever heard of, and that list has the most hilarious stereotypical “indie-wankery” band names. “Hentai Improvising Orchestra”? “The Me-Thinks”? “The Skin And Bones Drum Cult”? “Spoonfed Tribe”? Hahahahaha. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/59 "2010-09-29T17:12:51Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > > > I’m also confused as to why bands that only four people have ever heard of are not played on commercial radio. > > > > It just isn’t fair, I’m telling you. > > Clear Channel is evil! Their stations would rather play old Journey songs, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears instead of quality bands like Stepping Worm, Speech Beat, Checkered Zombie, Slipping Devil, Canned Ache, Lewis and Clark LLC, The Hazard, Labrador Believer, The Red Stormy Guardians, The Big Mercury Major, Austin Death Trailer, Digital Bulldozers, Massive Stallions, The Cosmic Scoreboards, Red Rocket, The Silver Killers, The Tainted Poles, The Robert Taylor Project, Brave Nephews, The Wild Molesters, The Vital Plasticines, Don Cherry’s Jacket, Grotesque Soldiers, The Itch, The Stray Shaggers, Los Beammers, King Scissors, The Hidden Wolfram Commanders, Gamma Agents, Cobalt Trombones, The Frozen Vipers, Canyonero, The Vegetables, Persistent Invaders, Balloon Knot, Doggy Snakes, Mellow Sisters, Groin, Omega Omega, Brave Pineapples, The Dead Propellers, The Tunas, The Skin Flutes, Full Love, The Mercury Tigers, The Sleepy Giants, The Week, The Wild Rangers, Disco Sapphires, The Poseidon Butterflies, The Universal Remotes, Crying Summer, The Whitey Killers, Teal Generals, The Brigadiers, Anal Habitrail, The Hydrogen Giants, The Rebel Rubber Colonels and Angst Cart. Oh my god, if you just made that list up, you’re brilliant. For some reason I can’t explain, I can’t stop laughing at “Don Cherry’s Jacket”. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393/60 "2010-09-29T17:20:48Z")
The Wild Molesters are my personal favourite, and I liked them before they were mentioned in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mainstream-music-makes-the-baby-jesus-cry/555393.md?page=4)