# Maintaining professional distance **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2013, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392 "2013-12-29T05:06:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/41 "2013-12-30T02:17:27Z")
My junior high students always wanted to know everything, too, and I wanted to stick to academics. But to make everyone happy I had a couple of things I would talk about, dogs, or the cat, or a TV show I saw, and after about thirty seconds of that I would move on to business. Now I didn’t have a dog or cat, but family members did so I felt I could talk about them. The kids felt like they were getting to know me and I was happy they didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/42 "2013-12-30T02:24:09Z")
One point is that it is often the medical professional who starts with the personal questions (part of the bedside manner…), so the patient reciprocates. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/43 "2013-12-30T02:57:25Z")
> [@bump](#): > > So you’re from Louisiana? 🙂 > > Seriously though, I’d politely tell them the truth- that you really need to concentrate on their exam because you don’t want to miss anything that might cause them to either need to go to surgery or not. Most people will shut the f–k up tout suite if they hear that, and won’t think you’re being rude. > > Then after the exam, chat for a few minutes if you have the time- to sort of prove that you’re not just an unfriendly ass and send them on their way feeling good. The best of both worlds, you know. > [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > ^^ good points missred. What about this: if you feel pressured to keep up convo, why not make pertinent comments about the exam, such as, “mmhmm… good heartsounds/lungsounds/whatever … now testing your strength here …” in order to focus on the task and let them know whats going on/reassure them. Just a thought, you probably already do that Im sure. I like these suggestions. For what it’s worth, I often would rather not chitchat in similar situations, but I feel pressure to be friendly by asking about the person’s weekend plans or if they’ve seen any good movies. It would be a relief to have someone kindly but professionally tell me that conversation is not needed. And if it could interfere with correct results, I’d definitely want to know! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/44 "2013-12-30T04:51:12Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > “Sorry, but I don’t discuss my personal life with patients.” That is just rude. I can see using a statement like that as a last resort if someone keeps pushing and pushing, but something like this should not be the first thing you say, especially when there are better options to deflect personal questions. I like the “I’m sorry, but I need to concentrate” coupled with the occasional comment about what’s going on in the exam approach. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/45 "2013-12-30T05:26:59Z")
> [@Blindsided](#): > > Lol I LOVE this!! Sounds pretty entertaining heehee 😃 Naw. You don’t want to hide that particular glowing personality behind a professional façade. Your patients will love it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/46 "2013-12-30T05:42:31Z")
You need to make sure that they’re terrified that you’ll make a mistake too. Explain you need to concentrate and give them some statistics about outcomes that are associated with missing the vital info you’re entrusted in capturing. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/47 "2013-12-30T13:10:53Z")
One thing that might additionally help is to tell them what Saje said before the exam begins. Try something along the lines of “Hi, I’m Blindsided and I will be administering your exam today. I would like for you to know that during this exam, it is important that I pay full attention to my monitor. I’d really hate to miss something! I’m sure you feel the same way”. By saying this at the very beginning, you’ll avoid the awkwardness of having to say it after they asked questions. I find that it’s how you say something is what matters. Say it warmly and smiling. As a patient I would understand. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/48 "2013-12-31T15:56:19Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I have found that if I ask all the questions, people will gladly talk about themselves without really giving me a second thought. So that’s what I do. I’m like the Barbara Walters of the office break room. It sounds like your patients could just be bored and looking for an excuse to talk. Maybe you can distract them with conversations about the weather or current events. Yes. I’m so glad someone else does this. It’s not that I have a problem talking about myself, as much as, in social situations, I often have trouble coming up with anything. Asking questions about them works really well. You can even get compliments on being a good conversationalist even though you haven’t said anything for an entire hour other than those little bits to reassure them that you are listening. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/49 "2013-12-31T16:23:37Z")
Is it too personal to ask what kind of exam this is that takes SO long? Only because the solution to your problem may be having them wear headphones (or having YOU wear them) or providing distractions, but if we don’t know what you’re doing it’s hard to suggest anything. FWIW I’ve been going to healthcare providers since I was a child and I catch myself chattering at them out of nerves. If they said to me at the outset: “This exam requires quiet so that I can really focus on what I’m looking at” I would be in no way upset or anything, I’d just STFU. but wow that’s a LONG time to be in a room with someone performing an exam without any talking at all- up to 2 hours? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392/50 "2013-12-31T18:19:43Z")
You need to take command of the situation rather than letting the patient ramble on. When I was getting a thyroid ultrasound, the tech mentioned that I would need to refrain from talking. I don’t remember how she said it, but I didn’t have a problem with it. I work in a call center myself, and I know from experience that setting the flow of the call as early as possible really cuts down on inane chatter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maintaining-professional-distance/677392.md?page=2)