# Make a manual for avoiding trouble **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 28, 2013, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617 "2013-02-28T08:14:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/1 "2013-02-28T08:14:55Z")
That is, when you’re outside, have business to do, and can’t avoid going to some place that is normally safe but can turn to a war zone and you in it by the luck of the dice. This might be too broad for one just one set of rules. We can categorize. I already have two situations which I’m all too familiar: I. Drinking during a party, whether in a private residence, or a commercial establishment. I stand up and leave if I see any of the following: 1. underage drinking 2. histrionics 3. a couple arguing 4. display of drugs or weaponry 5. a woman hitting on you and you see she has male companions 6. in my country, when the son of a political biggie enters the bar, it usually signifies time to leave. II. You’re in public and you have a concealed deadly weapon (as defined by local laws.) That’s me. I’m a knife guy. I always have one in my pocket, and to hell with the law. I never got into trouble with it and I intend to keep it that way: 1. If you’re out in public and some kind of trouble breaks out, get the hell out of there. 2. If you get into a fight with no option to turn around and leave, draw weapon only if your life is in danger. Always take the flight option. 3. Get out of there if you see signs of getting into #2. 4. If you’re the type whose ears turn red with the call “coward!” just turn your head, smile at him and blow him a kiss. Keep walking away. 5. Of you see (or find yourself in) an armed robbery situation, draw only if someone is about to kill you. Otherwise, hand over your (fake) wallet with your eyes downcast. Don’t say “boo!” others: III. Someone has a gun and starts shooting innocents IV. A business meeting turns out badly V. Neighbors fighting ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/2 "2013-02-28T08:57:22Z")
This isn’t advice just something to keep in mind. Anything that gets filtered through your consciousness is wasting milliseconds. You have a primitive and much faster reptilian brain for a reason. Sometimes using it is the right choice. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/3 "2013-02-28T09:09:14Z")
Is that from the manual for Grand Theft Auto? Is your country known for making tequila? ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/4 "2013-02-28T09:32:00Z")
No, I’m somewhere near China. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/5 "2013-02-28T10:41:16Z")
I guess I don’t quite understand. My manual for staying out of trouble is pretty short: 1. Don’t be a jerk 2. Don’t go where there will be a lot of jerks 3. Don’t hang around with jerks 4. If weapons are brandished, don’t ask questions or gawk - leave post haste. Where I grew up (small CA town) if the son of a political bigwig came in, it usually meant free drinks. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/6 "2013-02-28T11:11:05Z")
Don’t go to any places where you have previously been stabbed or shot unless it is “Happy Hour.” ---
**Author:** ![FrankJBN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@FrankJBN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrankJBN)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/7 "2013-02-28T18:40:57Z")
“I’m a knife guy.” You’re a tool, guy. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/8 "2013-02-28T18:48:54Z")
“Karate for defense only.” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/9 "2013-02-28T18:55:34Z")
Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/10 "2013-02-28T19:03:35Z")
No one has suggested ‘acting crazy.’ I guess there really is less of a stigma these days (:D), so what about walking around like you’re playing “pocket pool” and really enjoying it? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/11 "2013-02-28T19:13:39Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > This isn’t advice just something to keep in mind. Anything that gets filtered through your consciousness is wasting milliseconds. You have a primitive and much faster reptilian brain for a reason. Sometimes using it is the right choice. I agree with this. A lot of times you’re going to feel like something is “off.” Don’t ignore that feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/12 "2013-03-01T00:22:53Z")
> [@FrankJBN](#): > > “I’m a knife guy.” > > You’re a tool, guy. Insults and name-calling are not allowed in this forum. From now on, use the BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/13 "2013-03-01T00:44:30Z")
If your car starts with a traditional turn key, make a spare, put it in a magnet box and stick it on the underside somewhere. If you’re married, don’t fuck anyone besides your spouse. If you slip up on that one, keep it to yourself and get tested Buy appliances that shut themselves off. Replace your old wall outlets with [gfi](http://home.howstuffworks.com/question117.htm) With shoes, shop for value, but don’t sacrifice quality You want to avoid trouble? Don’t try to hassle anybody. Don’t try to impress anybody. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/14 "2013-03-01T11:52:26Z")
Keep your mouth shut about rumors/gossip. You never know whats gonna come around and bite you in the ass. If someone refuses to give their opinion on something, respect their silence. They are often trying to avoid drama by not telling you something you are not ready to hear from them. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/15 "2013-03-01T12:16:18Z")
You can’t control what people around you do, but what you can control is how you react or respond to things said or done. Don’t be a hothead. Don’t react in an emotionally charged way. Being highly agitated means you’re close to losing control. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/16 "2013-03-01T16:24:42Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > You’re in public and you have a concealed deadly weapon (as defined by local laws.) That’s me. I’m a knife guy. Don’t get into any gun fights. > [@the\_diego](#): > > III. Someone has a gun and starts shooting innocents Oh they were guilty of something… > [@the\_diego](#): > > IV. A business meeting turns out badly Uh…I close the browser for my Webex and hang up the phone? I work for an insurance company, not a yakuza gang. > [@the\_diego](#): > > V. Neighbors fighting The first two times I call the police and complain that I heard loud noises and death threats. The third time I kill them myself in a manner consistent with the prior two police reports. > [@echo7tango](#): > > You can’t control what people around you do, You can with something I call a “deep cycle marine batery”…or LSD. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/17 "2013-03-01T16:57:45Z")
Never trust a big butt and a smile. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/18 "2013-03-01T17:12:24Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Keep your mouth shut about rumors/gossip. You never know whats gonna come around and bite you in the ass. The other night a classmate was talking about a couple of her friends. Friend A told her something really unsavory about friend B. This caused my classmate a couple of months of agony about whether to keep B as a friend. She finally confronted B about it, and as it turns out, A was just talking shit. Don’t talk shit about people. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/19 "2013-03-01T17:35:08Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > 1. a woman hitting on you and you see she has male companions Oh yes. For the sake of the clueless: she is probably trying to make her boyfriend/husband jealous. This situation is going to end badly, 100% guaranteed. Get out now. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617/20 "2013-03-01T17:41:37Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Oh yes. For the sake of the clueless: she is probably trying to make her boyfriend/husband jealous. This situation is going to end badly, 100% guaranteed. Get out now. If you see a beautiful slender woman in late Spring or Early summer and it’s on the campus of a university and she has on a tight dress that reminds you more of a candy wrapper . . . basically the same thing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-a-manual-for-avoiding-trouble/651617.md?page=2)