Unfortunately, yes, in my younger, college years, I have been with a few losers. But I did so knowing that I would be willing to do the responsible thing if I became pregnant, which I have indeed done (abortion). It’s not fun, and it’s not something to be proud of, but it’s just a hard choice that some women have to make, and I am grateful that I have that choice.
Sex isn’t just fun and games. Creating a new human being shouldn’t be something that “just happens” because you got drunk and fucked someone. If you’re willing to open your legs and let a guy ejaculate inside you, then you have to take responsibility for whatever comes of it, whether it be a pregnancy, an STD, or emotional entanglements. If you chose to go through with having the child, why are you surprised when your drunken lay turns out to be a deadbeat loser, and then you proceed to play the poor pitiful victim?
You know, I’m as pro-choice as they come. I’ve had two abortions myself. And as mentioned, I’m not big with the bitching and moaning.
But if you think that actually makes you *a better person *than someone who chose to have a child and occasionally bitches about getting financially screwed…? That’s just fucked up.
Whether fortunately or otherwise, no, it doesn’t work that way.
Being the kind of imbecile who copulates with a loser who will never give her or the children he creates a second thought is a perfectly viable strategy from evolution’s “point of view”, if it induces her to have more children who reach viability than she otherwise would have done. Much the opposite, in fact - the responsible couple who only has two children that they can support themselves is at an evolutionary disadvantage compared with the woman who has three and lives on welfare all her life. Evolution “doesn’t care” if you are happy or responsible - it cares only about market share.
To the extent that the choice of loser vs. family man is genetically influenced, those genes will be selected for. To the extent that it is culturally influenced, that cultural set will be selected for.
We no longer live in a hunter-gatherer society, and it is perfectly possible to raise a large family without a partner to assist. You don’t live very well, but that doesn’t make any difference, in the completely impersonal logic of evolution - as long as your children don’t actually starve to death before they reproduce, the welfare queen is at an advantage over the rest of us (cereris paribus).
Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? That is a question raised by humans - the terms have no meaning applied to evolution.
Since (as you have discovered) birth control is not 100% reliable, yes you are. Whether you like it or not.
Go fuck yourself, you fucking prick.
I knew a girl in high school who was kind of a burn out, dated a loser, and got pregnant. THEN she turned HER life around, grew up, became a good mom, and a pretty mature person. The two of us became friends in college. Sadly, the kid’s father was still a deadbeat loser.
According to the OP, she has no right to complain. People never change. They’re supposed to suffer and be berated for something they did at FIFTEEN for the rest of their lives.
Of course we all know people like that. I work with a woman whose life has been one of perpetual misery for the entire seven years we’ve worked together, and in her mind not one thing she’s done has been in any way ,shape, or form her fault–she just has terrible luck. I grind my teeth every day. Had the OP bitched about one particular person, with details about how that particular person is a whining puppy with no self-awareness of their own complicity in their drama, I don’t think people would be upset–I think people would be lining up to tell their own stories. But generalizing it to everyone who has a less-than-stellar former partner is incredibly insulting and hurtful.
Absolutely. And if you don’t avail yourself of those, then you have more children than you would otherwise have done. And therefore the strategy of reproducing with a loser is going to be selected for, and the strategy of not reproducing with a loser is going to be selected against.
How do you figure? She didn’t deem him suitable or a life-partner. She chose to take a chance and have sex that might result in a pregnancy, and had a child based on the outcome of her gamble.
There’s something to what the OP is saying. The women who get knocked up by these losers have made not one, but two irresponsible choices. The first is to let a guy ejaculate in them who they didn’t want to have a baby with (and I don’t want to hear about failed birth control. The fact that we know birth control can fail means that we also know any coupling can result in a pregnancy and both parties are knowingly taking that risk when they have potentially procreative intercourse). Their second irresponsible choice is to keep a baby they didn’t want and can’t take care of rather than doing the mature thing and either terminating the pregnancy (the best choice) or putting the baby up for adoption.
That’s not to say these guys shouldn’t be made to pay, but these women are not without responsibility themselves and they DID choose these creeps of their own free will. My sympathy is for their children. I do not have sympathy for their whining that they chose to let a loser knock them up.
Maybe not as a life partner, but she chose him as a father. Choosing to have potentially procreative sex (“protected” or not) is a choice to get pregnant, just like choosing to drive drunk is a choice to get arrested (or crash).
The fact that the child mentioned in the OP is now 14 indicates that the child was both wanted and, in fact, cared for. It does NOT mean that caring for the child was as easy as it could have been had the father ponied up child support.
Whining doesn’t mean you can’t function. I whined this morning about wanting to stay in bed–doesn’t mean I am incapable of going to work.
Excessive whining is annoying and a personality flaw, but that’s not what’s being bitched about here. The woman was shocked and startled to get a child-support check for $10 and found it ironic considering the the magnitude of debt that hadn’t been paid. I mean, if I owed you tens of thousands of dollars and sent you a check for $10, you’d roll your eyes, wouldn’t you?
While I do not agree with everything nyctea scandiaca is saying, I can definitely see where she is coming from.
I have friends that are the same way. They choose men who seemed to have no real earning potential in life thinking they may change. To hear them bitch and moan about the same guys not working when they were together, now not working to pay their child support, is annoying to say the least.
What did these women think would magically happen? The courts can order support but you can’t get blood out of a stone.
I suppose nyctea scandiaca is aware her facebook friend made bad choices from the start and really should understand that she is now paying for those bad choices. She considers herself a victim but really, she is a victim of her own bad choices.
I’m going to withdraw my statement that keeping the baby is necessarily irresponsible (though sometimes it clearly is), but it’s still hard to feel particularly sympathetic towards women who complain that the loser they allowed to impregnate them is a loser. If you’re going to fuck a skunk, don’t bitch about the smell.
I feel the same about guys who talk about what bitches and cunts their baby mamas are. They made their own beds.
