# Make fun of your company’s mission statement **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2019, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226 "2019-03-16T15:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/1 "2019-03-16T15:07:46Z")
…or not! Perhaps you don’t find it ludicrous and it actually resonates with you. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/2 "2019-03-16T15:25:16Z")
I can’t, well I could, but I won’t. My company does a bit of internet research looking for what people are saying about us specifically and our industry generally. I make no secret at work of the fact that I talk to people on “a message board”. Last thing I need is to be called in “for a meeting with the executive committee” (family that owns the company) and fired because my comments turned up in a search and someone looked at them. God knows I’d love to though. ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/3 "2019-03-16T15:27:20Z")
Possibly NSFW: Goodwill - believe in the power of twerk. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/4 "2019-03-16T19:11:32Z")
The mission statement if my employer (a certain government agency) contains the phrase “To pioneer the future” - I’m convinced that’s not the right usage of that word. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/5 "2019-03-16T20:07:42Z")
The govt component I used to work for made a big deal out of coming up w/ a mission statement, and came up with, “We pursue excellence!” Which - of course - we worker bees realized could be interpreted to mean we never attain it. ---
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/6 "2019-03-17T00:00:54Z")
One of my old jobs was at a computer sales and service store. Our owner/manager hated mission statements, and came up with his own: Have Fun Make Money With Integrity Come Hell or High Water. Pretty well summed up his management style. After a while, I had to change it to: Have Fun Make Money With Integrity Pick any two. And one of them had better be “Make Money”. And, so had the other one! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/7 "2019-03-17T04:37:54Z")
I work for myself. My mission statement: “Don’t starve.” ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/8 "2019-03-17T04:45:40Z")
If I discuss where I currently work with any kind of specificity, particularly if I mock it, I could get fired. That has to be the same for most of us. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/9 "2019-03-17T07:23:13Z")
I used to work for a museum with a mission statement that was three paragraphs long. A mission statement shouldn’t be more than two or three sentences long as you should be able to rattle it off quickly if anyone asks what your organization is all about. While in graduate school one of my instructors used our mission statement as an example of what a terrible mission statement looked like. I work in the private sector now and my company has both a mission and a vision statement. Our mission statement is all about what we provide for our customers and our vision statement includes doing good for everyone in Arkansas whether or not they are our customers. I won’t be specific because I’d like to keep my job should anyone do a simple internet search. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/10 "2019-03-17T10:57:01Z")
Not a mission statement but our company’s value statement has all five of the words that a values statement should not have, according to this HBR article. > **[Ban These 5 Words From Your Corporate Values Statement](https://hbr.org/2018/02/ban-these-5-words-from-your-corporate-values-statement)** > > Integrity. Teamwork. Authenticity. Sense of “fun.” Customer-orientation. Why don’t these words belong in your core values? Because every business should be ethical, collaborative, and customer-centric, and ideally fun and authentic too. Instead of... ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/11 "2019-03-17T11:09:05Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > If I discuss where I currently work with any kind of specificity, particularly if I mock it, I could get fired. That has to be the same for most of us. Exactly. This isn’t the mid-90s. People realize that what does on the Net goes everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/12 "2019-03-17T11:19:12Z")
The EU keeps an “[International Operators Registry](https://ec.europa.eu/taxation_customs/business/customs-procedures/general-overview/economic-operators-registration-identification-number-eori_en)” (thing changes name now and then but the concept has stood for several decades); the easiest way for an European company to prove that they’re legally constituted and able to invoice at the international level is to be part of it. I’ve had to ask to be added to it several times for circunstances I don’t want to bore you with. Last time I was asked for, among other things, my mission statement. Take into account that I’m a freelance consultant, set up as a Self-employed Person: not even some sort of LLC. > [@](#): > > The company Nava (Autónoma) wishes to serve her customers in a satisfactory manner and get paid every month, mainly in order to fulfill her needs for food, lodging and a working computer. ETA: evidently I’m more bourgueoise than **TokyoBayer**. > [@Mighty\_Mouse](#): > > Not a mission statement but our company’s value statement has all five of the words that a values statement should not have, according to this HBR article. > > [Ban These 5 Words From Your Corporate Values Statement](https://hbr.org/2018/02/ban-these-5-words-from-your-corporate-values-statement) Do you also have synergy? I think you ought’a have synergy. Or at least synergize the values and contributions of your employees in an environment of great diversity and continued personal and corporate growth. ---
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/13 "2019-03-17T13:25:49Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > If I discuss where I currently work with any kind of specificity, particularly if I mock it, I could get fired. That has to be the same for most of us. OP sez: Yep. I probably should’ve thought of that! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2019, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/14 "2019-03-17T13:44:10Z")
I could do a lollapalooza on this theme but want to stay employed just a bit longer. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2019, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-fun-of-your-company-s-mission-statement/831226/15 "2019-03-18T00:08:44Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > I can’t, well I could, but I won’t. My company does a bit of internet research looking for what people are saying about us specifically and our industry generally. Huge company; same boat. I have actually known folks fired for just that sort of thing. But the day I do get fired (and we all do sooner or later) BOY AM I EVER WAKING THIS THREAD UP!