# Make People Sick With Your Huge Dick!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 15, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492 "2002-03-15T17:43:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/1 "2002-03-15T17:43:49Z")
Yes, this is yet another penile enlargement ad thread, but this just can’t leave my mind. It’s sort of poetic but then again non-poetic. It is so very, very stupid, yet at the same time, in it’s way, brilliant. It just so capsulates… the something… of penile enlargement ads. Also, is there really a point in having a dick so huge it makes people sick? ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/2 "2002-03-15T18:14:11Z")
Uhh… got a link there, buddy? It’s not that I’m interested in making my dick bigger or anything - y’know - it’s so we can all laugh at the ad. Yeah, that’s it… ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/3 "2002-03-15T18:56:31Z")
Why do you need a huge penis to make girls sick? My anthrax sperm does the job nicely!!! ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/4 "2002-03-15T22:09:41Z")
I think it’s a pretty rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/5 "2002-03-15T22:38:59Z")
The ones that always make me laugh are the “Penile Curvature Correction” ads. Listen, buddy, my dick could be the shape of a pretzel–I’m **still** not gonna let you come near it with anything sharp. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2002, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/6 "2002-03-16T04:13:49Z")
Yeah, I got that one, too, and I realized alot of people probably would get pretty sick if they saw a huge dick on my decidedly female body. Including me. ---
**Author:** ![Thunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@Thunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thunder)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/7 "2002-03-16T04:51:00Z")
(singing) I know all there is to know… About The Crying Game…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/8 "2002-03-16T05:10:11Z")
Not a link, just a hint… Put “increase penis size naturally in 30 days” into Google and go with Hit #1. It’s the “exercise” ad, not the “Viagra” ad. No dirty pix, just a couple of rather dull 6th grade science textbook-type illustrations– **UNTIL** you get to page 5… [:eek: geez] Evidently somebody got Adobe Photoshop for Christmas… 😃 Those aren’t real, are they? They gotta be plastic. Page 6 has an interesting picture of a vacuum pump in operation–guys DO that? Jeepers… This week’s Uninintentional Humor Prize goes to whoever wrote this, on page 3: > [@](#): > > Maybe your [sic] still asking, “Why do I need a bigger penis?” Yeah, right, Einstein, people have waded all the way through this to page 3 and they STILL don’t think they need a bigger penis. You just can’t tell some people anything, can you? Runner-Up, from page 4: > [@](#): > > One of our main enlarging techniques is an actual Saundanese [sic] Arab method, passed down from father to son for centuries as a family secret! These Arabs attained penis sizes that reached over 10" in length and have even been noted in the World Record Books! No comment. I mean, absolutely no comment. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/9 "2002-03-16T20:57:24Z")
I get a lot spam about improving both the quality and quantity of my semen. There’s one I’ve been getting recently that touts “Improve the flavor of your sperm!” I used to get another that said “Increase your ejaculate my 584 percent!”. Maybe I should use both products and open an ‘Orange Julius’ in my balls. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/10 "2002-03-17T03:05:04Z")
Actually, this could be a way to get back at the folks that came up with the [x-ray strip-search for airports](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=104175) device. I WOULD want to make the airport screeners get dyspeptic at the idea of me being able to walk with all that hangdown. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/11 "2002-03-17T03:44:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Yeah, I got that one, too, and I realized alot of people probably would get pretty sick if they saw a huge dick on my decidedly female body. Including me. Although there is a significant market for people who enjoy that particular fetish. > [@](#): > > Evidently somebody got Adobe Photoshop for Christmas… Those aren’t real, are they? They gotta be plastic. Oh, ye of little faith. You’d be surprised how large a human’s penis can really get. [bullshit machismo ON] Take me, for example… SPOOFE Jr. is so big I can’t keep him in my pants. I have to wrap him around my waist to keep him from dragging on the ground. [bullshit machismo OFF] ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/12 "2002-03-17T04:21:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*[bullshit machismo ON] > > Take me, for example… SPOOFE Jr. is so big I can’t keep him in my pants. I have to wrap him around my waist to keep him from dragging on the ground. > > [bullshit machismo OFF] \*\* It’s true!! **SPOOFE** got an erection once, sliced himself in two!!! Luckily, the women that caused the erection was a surgeon, saved his life! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/13 "2002-03-17T04:29:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*Maybe I should use both products and open an ‘Orange Julius’ in my balls. \*\* Sig line! (similar to ‘band name!’) ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/14 "2002-03-17T05:09:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Not a link, just a hint… > > Put “increase penis size naturally in 30 days” into Google and go with Hit #1. It’s the “exercise” ad, not the “Viagra” ad. No dirty pix, just a couple of rather dull 6th grade science textbook-type illustrations– **UNTIL** you get to page 5… [:eek: geez] Evidently somebody got Adobe Photoshop for Christmas… 😃 Those aren’t real, are they? They gotta be plastic. > > \*\* Those pictures…:eek: It’s no wonder they only have testimonials from men on that site, because if they had ones from women, they’d never sell a single one of their product. Not that I think it really works, but still…any guy with a pecker that size is going to be enjoying it all by himself, because every woman I know is going to run screaming after seeing that thing. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/15 "2002-03-17T05:42:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe I should use both products and open an ‘Orange Julius’ in my balls. I have not laughed that hard at a post in ages. Tears down the face, my friend. Awesome. And this thread title is great, too. I got that spam once and couldn’t stop laughing at it. Marketing genius, I tell ya! Zette ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/16 "2002-03-18T02:06:19Z")
My favourite was the one that said “YOUR DICK SO BIG PEOPLE WILL THINK IT’S A THIRD LEG!” It occurred to me that there is nothing I would hate more than to have a dick so big people would think it was a third leg. I’d have to alter my pants, for one thing, and every time I got a hard on I’d either pole vault or pass out. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/17 "2002-03-18T03:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*Maybe I should use both products and open an ‘Orange Julius’ in my balls. \*\* Well, that certainly puts a whole new spin on the phrase, “soda jerk.” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/18 "2002-03-18T04:17:19Z")
Those cutaway drawings on pages 3 and 4 started a conversation between my husband and I about Lorena Bobette. We should all try our hands at penal enlargement ad copy writing. (or, we could leave out the last three words in the previous sentence and do something _really_ productive). We could become hundredaires! A Penis So Large You’ll Need A Wheelbarrow To Walk! A Shlong Sp Long You Could Use It As A Q-tip! A Pecker Of Such Porportions You’ll Need To Pee From A Plane! Make People Trip With Your Trailing Dick! ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/19 "2002-03-18T09:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Make People Trip With Your Trailing Dick! P. Fucking. erfect. YOUR DICK SO HUGE WHALES ARE ENVIOUS! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492/20 "2002-03-18T10:10:20Z")
A penis so long you can get vaginal _and_ oral sex at the same time! (Think about it for a second…) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-people-sick-with-your-huge-dick/98492.md?page=2)