# Make The Pie Higher! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 28, 2001, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616 "2001-04-28T06:20:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/1 "2001-04-28T06:20:18Z")
The following is a poem comprised entirely of ACTUAL QUOTES from our new president. The quotes were arranged by Post writer Richard Thompson. MAKE THE PIE HIGHER By George W. Bush I think we all agree The past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It’s a world of madmen And uncertainty And potential mental losses. Rarely is the question asked Is our children learning? Will the highways of the Internet Become more few? How many hands Have I shaked? They misunderestimate me. I am a pitbull on the pant leg Of opportunity. I know that the human being And the fish Can coexist. Families is where our nation finds hope Where our wings take dream. Put food on your family! Knock down the tollbooth! Vulcanize Society! Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher! Major league asshole! ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/2 "2001-04-28T06:50:50Z")
The following is a poem comprised entirely of **ACTUAL QUOTES** from Chronolicht. get up in a tree and eat cottonballs covered with choco the handwriting is on the wall pheromones said to diminish inhibitions descended from plants and a goat cannon will eventually solve all the world’s problems human problems we still deal with We haven’t come far… I also change my socks every day. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/3 "2001-04-28T06:56:21Z")
We don’t need this sort of insulting nonsense. “Neither in English, nor in French nor in Mexican.” You want to lodge serious complaints against Bush and them drop down to the level of attacking his speech, but you “can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road.” You act like Bush has done nothing to improve his command of the English language, yet he’s said, “I’ve changed my style somewhat, as you know. I’m less—I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I’m more interacting with people.” Regarding the issue of Bush’s mistakes continuing, “We’re making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/4 "2001-04-28T06:57:40Z")
If all the information I had about the both of them were those two posts, I think I’d vote for Chronolicht. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/5 "2001-04-28T08:11:16Z")
Andygirl, darling. Did it sting a bit? The fact that your commander in chief is a complete moron? Do you suppose that equating some out of context snippets of my glorious past with this depilated primate’s mangled syntax and inanities would sway opinion or make me consider my evil ways and become an upright Republican? You are horse’s ass and I think you and his whole family ought to have some cocktails and go for a fast drive out 2222. Watch them state verbs. Those is real tricky. How tru that is. ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/6 "2001-04-28T08:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronolicht \* > \*\*Andygirl, darling. Did it sting a bit? The fact that your commander in chief is a complete moron? Do you suppose that equating some out of context snippets of my glorious past with this depilated primate’s mangled syntax and inanities would sway opinion or make me consider my evil ways and become an upright Republican? You are horse’s ass and I think you and his whole family ought to have some cocktails and go for a fast drive out 2222. Watch them state verbs. Those is real tricky. How tru that is. \*\* One would doubt that Andygirl has much interest in turning anybody particularly conservative. I think she was just pointing out how easy it is to do that. That said, wonderful OP. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/7 "2001-04-28T12:05:42Z")
Actually, I thought that it was a pretty cool little poem. I’ve never thought of making poetry from other people’s quotes before. ---
**Author:** ![ryoushi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@ryoushi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryoushi)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/8 "2001-04-28T12:10:08Z")
In Australia we’ve been treated to a copule of somgs made of soundbites from the speeches of a certain Pauline Hanson… Are there any other people who have done this to other politicians? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/9 "2001-04-28T13:00:03Z")
Somebody just released a book called something like _Chrétiennismes_, being a compendium of the brilliant quotations of our fearless leader. “Pepper? I put it on my plate.” ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/10 "2001-04-28T14:29:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ryoushi \* > \*\*In Australia we’ve been treated to a copule of somgs made of soundbites from the speeches of a certain Pauline Hanson… Are there any other people who have done this to other politicians? \*\* I believe that _The Ministry_ used a soundbite of the elder Bush in their song, NWO. “It’s a new world order.” IIRC ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/11 "2001-04-28T14:38:13Z")
Bootsy Collins and the Rubber Band released a funk single in the mid-80’s called “Five Minutes”. It was composed entirely of snippets from President Reagan’s infamous nuclear armageddon joke ("…we start the bombing in five minutes"). Absolutely hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/12 "2001-04-28T16:10:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronolicht \* > \*\*Andygirl, darling. Did it sting a bit? The fact that your commander in chief is a complete moron? Do you suppose that equating some out of context snippets of my glorious past with this depilated primate’s mangled syntax and inanities would sway opinion or make me consider my evil ways and become an upright Republican? You are horse’s ass and I think you and his whole family ought to have some cocktails and go for a fast drive out 2222. Watch them state verbs. Those is real tricky. How tru that is. \*\* :wally I did it because I thought it was funny, not because I’m a fan of the twit in office. Now come on, fuckwit. I thought that > [@](#): > > a goat cannon > will eventually solve all the world’s problems was a work of grace and beauty. Knee jerk much? ---
**Author:** ![waxteeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/13 "2001-04-28T16:21:24Z")
As far as poetry goes that’s pretty damn good. I am a pitbull on the pant leg of opportunity Where our wings take dream Make the pie higher! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/14 "2001-04-28T17:02:01Z")
“Quote” is a verb. You quote a person. You quote a document. You cannot have “a quote.” You can, however, have “a quotation.” ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/15 "2001-04-28T17:25:53Z")
May I quotate you on that? ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/16 "2001-04-28T18:38:01Z")
My knee! My knee! My knee! It’s jerk jerk jerkin’! I was quotatin’ and rotatin’ Like a deluxe Putz! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/17 "2001-04-28T18:39:55Z")
> [@](#): > > The fact that your commander in chief is a complete moron? Hmmm, I wasn’t even aware **andygirl** was in the military. For your information, Bush is commander-in-chief of **only** the military, civilians don’t enter into the equation. Now, who were you calling stupid? ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/18 "2001-04-28T18:58:58Z")
He is commonly called the commander in chief. He would be commander in chief of only the military, yes. What else would he be commander in chief of? You assertion is ironically fatuous and you are a slave to “reality”. Where is your sense of humor? Why are you so uptight, Tiocerveza? Clearly, you need more fiber. Maybe a high fiber, high pie, no? ---
**Author:** ![McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/19 "2001-04-28T19:20:58Z")
:rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Why are you so uptight, Tiocerveza? Clearly, you need more fiber. Maybe a high fiber, high pie, no? Now what the fuck does that mean? At least you can still _understand_ Dubya when he makes a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616/20 "2001-04-28T21:12:22Z")
> [@](#): > > … **your** commander in chief … Well then say what ya mean, dammit. **THE, THE, THE** commander-in-chief. Repeat as necessary. As for my humor, well, perhaps if you’d posted this in a forum that’s more suited to humor, I’d engage mine. Since it’s in the Pit, I figured I’d respond in the spirit it was apparently intended. I guess since I didn’t divine your stupid purpose, I’m uptight. It can’t be a lack of fiber, though; I had a big goddamn bowl of oatmeal this morning. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-the-pie-higher/63616.md?page=2)