# Make Up Pretentious Job Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596 "2007-02-02T19:49:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/21 "2007-02-02T23:52:03Z")
I used to tell people I was the Commissar of Wild Horses. I got quizzical expressions, but nobody ever questioned what that was. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/22 "2007-02-03T00:45:08Z")
[Kelly Services](http://www.kellyservices.com/web/global/services/en/pages/) for your Syntactical Maintenance Technician needs. Alles klar? ---
**Author:** ![Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@Throatwarbler\_Mangrove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Throatwarbler_Mangrove)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/23 "2007-02-03T00:55:41Z")
Not really, no. Are you saying that at one point Kelly’s deal exclusively in female typists? They don’t say so on their site. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/24 "2007-02-03T01:00:21Z")
Searching “kelly girl” on the Kelly Services website takes you to [this little tale](http://www.kellyservices.com/web/global/services/en/pages/william_russell_kelly_tribute.html) wherein is seen how the concept of a “Kelly girl” came about. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/25 "2007-02-03T01:03:07Z")
I’m a Print Media Communications Facilitator. What? Oh OK, I’m a postal worker. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/26 "2007-02-03T02:00:03Z")
No lie, my actual job title is Berüfsbrauer. And I live and work in the United States. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/27 "2007-02-03T02:04:51Z")
Hmmm… refuse transfer technician? Nah, too obvious that I deal with garbage. Driver/Sales representative? Technically true, but lacking style and panache. I’ve got it! Vice-Lord and Demi-Master of Taking Your Stuff Away. It’s true _and_ it implies all sorts of powers and authorities that I don’t actually have! I can just imagine future conversations: “What’s that? You’re a senior manager? Well, _I’m_ a vice-lord _and_ a demi-master. Of taking people’s stuff none the less.” Also: KlondikeGeoff, what were you when you called yourself ‘Commissar of Wild Horses’? ---
**Author:** ![the\_chicken\_of\_exeter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@the\_chicken\_of\_exeter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_chicken_of_exeter)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/28 "2007-02-03T02:35:45Z")
Well I’m a student, so Almighty Knowledge Sponge? Learnatrix? Grand High Watcher of her Betters? ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/29 "2007-02-03T02:42:44Z")
Hmm, I sell books on an internet site. Lead Internet Commerce Literature Specialist, with sprinkles! ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/30 "2007-02-03T03:13:11Z")
I already have a stupid title: Head of Promotions and Creative Services but i would much prefer to be: Goddess of the Blessed Asthetic ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/31 "2007-02-03T03:18:37Z")
I have a friend who is a professional **memeticist**. I am not making this up. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/32 "2007-02-03T03:25:56Z")
Wow! I’m a former Syntactical Maintenance Technician (employed by Kelly Services, even). Who knew? And I just updated my resume. No one really understands what I do and it’s hard to explain. It would be nice if my title were: She Who Must Be Obeyed (cuz people have been making me cranky lately). GT ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/33 "2007-02-03T04:10:01Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] My father was a technical writer/editor for IBM and I was always amused by his title: Information Developer. [/QUOTE] I was also a technical writer/editor (my preferred title), and I did a few contracts at IBM so I was once an “Information Developer” as well. But on a few contracts, I was also known as a “technical communicator,” a “documentation specialist,” and a “technical publications engineer.” Still, writing instruction books for technology over and over and over again made me wonder if a certain other job title would have been more appropriate: Manual Laborer. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/34 "2007-02-03T04:11:13Z")
During the time when worked at raising my children I once told a pretentious git at a party that I was a Domestic Engineer. “Oh, really?” “Yes, I manage a 7-unit facility, with a part-time associate.” “Hmmm…” ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/35 "2007-02-03T04:11:16Z")
[QUOTE=Tristan] Shortly after graduating High School, and moving to Montana, I became a… Petrolleum Distillate Distribution Engineer. Yeah, I pumped gas. [/QUOTE] Introduced myself as a Petroleum Installation Engineer all the years I pumped at the full-serve station in HS, and Petroleum Distribution Engineer when I had a self-serve station. The list of actual job titles I’ve held is no less pretentious - Systems Integration Engineer, Associate Systems Test Engineer, etc. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/36 "2007-02-03T04:50:45Z")
Aerial Gunner. Naw, that sounds lame. Purveyor of Death and Destruction. Better. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/37 "2007-02-03T05:20:08Z")
[QUOTE=Rufus Xavier] I have a friend who is a professional **memeticist**. I am not making this up. [/QUOTE] He makes people vomit for a living? No, wait. That’d be an emeticist. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/38 "2007-02-03T05:31:02Z")
I’m an Erotic Engineer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/39 "2007-02-03T05:37:55Z")
I’ve been a number of things over the years: · Financial Transaction Facilitator for a multinational recreational information provider[sup]1[/sup]. · Commercial Literature Production Manager[sup]2[/sup] which itself comprises numerous disciplines: - Luminology[sup]3[/sup] - Relational Output Processing[sup]4[/sup] - Production Assets Maintenance[sup]5[/sup] - Primary Image Processing[sup]6[/sup] - Information Acquisition and Organization[sup]7[/sup] - Post-Production Encapsulation and Transfer Logistics[sup]8[/sup] · Client Services Communications and Information Agent[sup]9[/sup] · Client Acquisitions Facilitator[sup]10[/sup] · Semiconductor Technology Recovery Specialist[sup]11[/sup] To name but a few of my lofty positions. [1] Cashier at Coles book store [2] Offset printer [3] Ink mixing [4] Bindery work [5] Press cleanup [6] Plate making [7] Typesetting [8] Packing and shipping [9] Customer Service Rep [10] Order taker [11] PC technician ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/40 "2007-02-03T06:00:30Z")
I petitioned long and hard to have my job description changed to “blowing peoples mind’s for a living”. I like to refer to myself as a Comptroller or as Grand Visier of the “WOW” factory. mm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596.md?page=3)