# Make Up Pretentious Job Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596 "2007-02-02T19:49:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![groman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@groman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groman)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/41 "2007-02-03T13:21:33Z")
[QUOTE=GargoyleWB] Yes, also being an engineer, I feel that the title has been watered down too much by other industries (sanitation, computer, etc) grubbing for our glory. [/QUOTE] _looks at business card_ “Application Engineer” What the fuck does that even mean?! That doesn’t mean anything! I’m sorry **GargoyleWB** I seem to be contributing to the problem. Hell, I could probably steal your acronym, but I don’t want to. I propose a trade, I’ll start calling myself Application Technician and you design me something that gets me to Tokyo from San Francisco and back in under two hours (alive, happy and intact). ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/42 "2007-02-03T15:24:19Z")
I already like mine… Horticulturalist, Canine Behavior Modification Specialist and Information Disseminator, and Horologist. (I play with mud, dogs and gears.) ---
**Author:** ![Hogwash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@Hogwash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogwash)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/43 "2007-02-03T15:28:01Z")
Back when I was applying for a week’s worth of work experience in secondary school, I referred to my stint as a paperboy under the title ‘Newspaper Distributor’. I think they were impressed. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/44 "2007-02-03T16:27:51Z")
[QUOTE=RandMcnally] Aerial Gunner. Naw, that sounds lame. Purveyor of Death and Destruction. Better. [/QUOTE] Distribution Specialist High speed lead banking - direct deposit division. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/45 "2007-02-03T16:30:48Z")
I enjoy Cheif Operating Officer myself, no need to expand upon it 🙂 reminds me of a little joke I heard somewhere: When is a woman most likely to care for a mans company? When he owns it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/46 "2007-02-03T16:40:46Z")
[QUOTE=Tristan] Shortly after graduating High School, and moving to Montana, I became a… [/quote] I thought you were going to say a Dental Floss Tycoon. With a Zirconium Tweezer specialty. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/47 "2007-02-03T17:15:06Z")
“Account and Financial Transactions Facilitator” Customer Advisor for a bank. Or at least I will be from Monday. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/48 "2007-02-03T18:00:05Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] Thanks to this rather insipid Pit thread on [coffehouse elitism](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=406579&page=1&pp=50) some of my gray matter will not be forevermore clogged with the knowledge that the guy who pours up your fancy-schmancy coffee order is a “barista”. I’ve become fascinated by this charmingly pretentious job title. I want one. I’m a chemical engineer in the lubricants industry. I’d considered “engineero” but it just doesn’t zing. Perhaps “lubricatrix”, were I a female lube engineer. Alas, no. I’ll keep workin’ on my new job title. Come, join in the fun: what would your job title be if you wanted to convey your sneering contempt for the lesser mortals grubbing along at their little jobs? hmm. “Chemiculator”, maybe? [/QUOTE] So here you go: **Chemeleon** (I haven’t read the other posts, however. So someone else might have come up with this one ahead of me.) ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/49 "2007-02-03T18:35:07Z")
On my business card: **"Vice President In Charge of Crayons"** Not a bad job, all in all, but I am beginning the resent the wax ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/50 "2007-02-03T19:43:19Z")
I am an **Aerospace Transit Coordinator** , which means I’m a travel agent. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/51 "2007-02-03T20:11:35Z")
[QUOTE=Regallag\_The\_Axe] Also: KlondikeGeoff, what were you when you called yourself ‘Commissar of Wild Horses’? [/QUOTE] Actually, Commissar of Borscht. ---
**Author:** ![theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theater_in_a_crowded_fire)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/52 "2007-02-03T22:35:55Z")
I like to tell people I’m a paragraph and photographic image manufacturing technician. I’m a staff writer and photographer at the local newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/53 "2007-02-04T00:31:46Z")
Actually, barista is a rather silly name for what I do, come to think of it. From now on, you can all call me “Goddess of the Foam.” Go ahead, make the jokes. You know you want to. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/54 "2007-02-04T00:58:39Z")
I am She Who Watches the Watchers. [sub]Supervisor of Technology Operations[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/55 "2007-02-04T10:10:07Z")
**Time Person of the Year** aka Unemployed. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/56 "2007-02-04T14:20:27Z")
> [@](#): > > **GargoyleWB** said: > Yes, also being an engineer, I feel that the title has been watered down too much by other industries (sanitation, computer, etc) grubbing for our glory. I’m in aerospace, so I propose: I was with you until you said ‘computer’ as if computer engineers are not real engineers. I have the degree just like you do, so please don’t lump me in with a garbage collector. Computer engineers are real engineers. Now if you want to exclude the MCSE variety, that’s fine, but they are **not computer engineers**. Computer engineers have to have at least a B.Sc.Engr in the field of computer engineering, TYVM. And since I’m a software engineer, I have re-titled myself ‘Hacker’. It’s effectively true: I hack code to make programs do what they’re supposed to. ---
**Author:** ![Barrington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Barrington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrington)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/57 "2007-02-04T14:28:12Z")
I’m out-of-work, with nothing on the horizon. This makes me a **Research Ennuiologist**. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/58 "2007-02-04T15:34:12Z")
Well, I’m a **nudist** , since I’m a marine biologist working with nudibranchs (wish I had a business card 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/59 "2007-02-05T00:33:28Z")
I used to be a **Domestic Refuse Disposal Facilitator**. But most people called me a garbiologist. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596/60 "2007-02-06T15:52:15Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Still, writing instruction books for technology over and over and over again made me wonder if a certain other job title would have been more appropriate: Manual Laborer. [/QUOTE] Hee hee. Nice. I’ve heard my father’s dismay that there are fewer writers and editors now and more manuals are being written by the developers. That scares me, SDMB multi-talented company nonwithstanding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-pretentious-job-titles/390596.md?page=4)