# Make up some Monkey Haikus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924 "2004-09-10T16:50:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/21 "2004-09-10T19:21:00Z")
See my brother there? The monkey in the White House George! Not the Red Phone!!! Christ, I’ve got to stop this… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/22 "2004-09-10T19:31:40Z")
Curious George snatched the book and scampered away towards the White House “Come back! Come back!” cried the man in the yellow hat starting to pursue “They haven’t finished swearing you in!” yelled Cheney, but George paid no mind ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/23 "2004-09-10T19:35:18Z")
May I groom you ma’am? It will relax you, I’m sure… And give me a snack! ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/24 "2004-09-10T19:41:46Z")
Bored with bananas, Monkey sends the trainer away. When come back, bring pie! ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/25 "2004-09-10T19:49:02Z")
Chicks dig us monkeys We drive 'em bananas with Our prehensile tails ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/26 "2004-09-10T19:51:01Z")
Why did the monkey Fall out of the tree? Oh why? Because he was dead! (Sorry - old joke!) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/27 "2004-09-10T20:02:57Z")
Why did monkey Two Fall out of tree? Oh, why? He was tied to One! ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/28 "2004-09-10T20:03:24Z")
John Glenn, kiss my ass Grandpa was an astronaut Way before you were! ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/29 "2004-09-10T20:08:16Z")
Peanuts mingle with The scent of bananas On my monkey’s breath ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/30 "2004-09-10T20:12:52Z")
Damn that Charles Darwin And his lunatic notions! He’s no kin of mine! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/31 "2004-09-10T20:13:37Z")
Sequential thread haiku: What is Comedy? Help me ID a Ring, Please. Ah…nature; ah, CRAP! ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/32 "2004-09-10T20:16:19Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Ook ook ook ook ook > ooh AAAH ooh AAAH AAAH > Ook ook ook ook ook. Ooh ooh ee ee aaak? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/33 "2004-09-10T20:18:00Z")
Hey Indiana Thanks for letting me eat those Poisoned dates, you dick. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/34 "2004-09-10T20:24:50Z")
Why did Monkey Three Follow his brethren downward? “It’s a game,” he thought. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/35 "2004-09-10T20:30:12Z")
pomengranate seeds sparkle in fresh monkey poo reflecting moonlight I.F. Poo ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/36 "2004-09-10T20:34:14Z")
If I but had wings I’d be a glorious thing In my bellhop suit Maybe get a job Working for a wicked witch In a castle dark My uncle had wings But he had a lousy job Flying out of butts ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/37 "2004-09-10T20:34:25Z")
Good luck without Friends David Schwimmer, you asshole Kiss my fuzzy nuts ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/38 "2004-09-10T20:35:47Z")
Rhesus scientist Discovers factor in blood, Names it for humans. Baboons like to sing, Form a country music act – The Mandrill Sisters! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/39 "2004-09-10T21:03:36Z")
2 ounces of rum 2 ounces of vodka and 4 ounces orange juice -Brass Monkey ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/40 "2004-09-10T21:04:06Z")
Unwary watchers: Chimpanzee hands press with glee The air jet button Baby monkey melts Into her mother’s middle: One fur but four eyes. Slow old silverback. In the green jungle sunbeams Small flies float and glow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924.md?page=3)