# Make up some Monkey Haikus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924 "2004-09-10T16:50:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/41 "2004-09-10T21:14:57Z")
After that pool ball All food is first shoved up ass It just seems safer ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/42 "2004-09-10T21:22:52Z")
Davy Jones: Monkees They say he monkeys around Daydream believer (ok, I know it’s not what you meant) Grooming my sibling Picking off the ticks right now Just a little snack George was curious And fictional but Koko Was a real monkey ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/43 "2004-09-10T21:44:41Z")
When I become bored Monkey hand meets monkey gland Avert your eyes, please I once had a job I was an organ grinder Now it’s a hobby ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/44 "2004-09-10T21:48:57Z")
Last two, then I have to go see about joining a support group because of all this… Monkey shaped crater Pressed deep in the jungle floor Guess he missed his vine Get in the truck Clyde Is what Eastwood said to me I made a fart noise. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/45 "2004-09-10T22:49:50Z")
If I ever meet The banner ad creator He’ll be the one punched ---
**Author:** ![Ezekiel25\_17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@Ezekiel25\_17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ezekiel25_17)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/46 "2004-09-10T23:15:21Z")
With a graceful swing Cheetah saves Jane and the day Tarzan can piss off ---
**Author:** ![Ezekiel25\_17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@Ezekiel25\_17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ezekiel25_17)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/47 "2004-09-10T23:23:27Z")
Fling Poo, Masturbate Try unrinating in mouth Monkey days, so full ---
**Author:** ![Ezekiel25\_17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@Ezekiel25\_17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ezekiel25_17)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/48 "2004-09-10T23:47:45Z")
How can his small brain beat me at Hungry hungry Hippos? Damn monkey Russian space monkey Beats astronauts and cave men Watch out for Lance Bass Best Actor Oscar Monkey Alcoholism Goodbye, Mr Chips ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/49 "2004-09-22T12:42:54Z")
Head lice sparkle, gleam Scratch scratch - my days are joyful Would you like some dung? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/50 "2004-09-22T14:03:00Z")
These are great! I feel like I must post a haiku but I am not that good at it (I hate counting syllables). Headache, hemorrhage organ failure, shock and death Green Monkey Disease ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/51 "2004-09-22T15:56:35Z")
Have A Banana I’m The Jungle V.I.P. Have Two Bananas Get your hands off me, You dirty ape! (He can talk!) NO! They blew it up! _(Okay, I know that Apes are different from Monkeys. Why don’t you sue me.)_ Congo, Congo. (Sigh) Crichton, what were you thinking? Had Tim Curry, Though Folks say we primates Fling poo all day long. Untrue! We also throw puke. I’m a lab monkey. Name’s 11583-G Hope you guys cure AIDS… Who’s sending pictures Of me and my friends to the Barenaked Ladies? ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/52 "2004-09-22T18:24:25Z")
The Earthbound monkey You know, that cool little guy Bubble Monkey rocks ---
**Author:** ![jay-c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@jay-c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jay-c)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/53 "2004-09-22T22:01:14Z")
Close not the circus Simply because the monkey Has a bloody nose :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/54 "2004-09-22T22:13:55Z")
My little monkey Fling dung at the face of God Arise, fate awaits ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/55 "2004-09-22T22:22:50Z")
Me Hockey Monkey Monkey Check Pass Shoot and Score Me Monkey Ice Whore ---
**Author:** ![drhess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/94ad74/32.png) [@drhess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drhess)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/56 "2004-09-22T22:31:08Z")
He speaks with his hands Learning to sign grammar, words: “Door Cat Snack Flower.” :smack: (c) 2004 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/57 "2004-09-22T22:34:39Z")
The monkey stands up All nature waits for his song The little fucker ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/58 "2004-09-22T22:38:03Z")
Monkey paw, so dark Do you hold light in your paw? Dung flies through the air \ ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/59 "2004-09-22T23:10:00Z")
My little chimp friend Are you related to me You better not be ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924/60 "2004-09-22T23:14:53Z")
Typewriters churning Let us make Dan Rather proud We the un-named source [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-up-some-monkey-haikus/263924.md?page=4)