# Make Your Dead Osama Bin Laden jokes right here ladies and gentleman, get 'em while they're hot! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455 "2011-05-02T05:58:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/121 "2011-05-04T14:28:59Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > And I’m afraid I don’t get this joke. Habeus corpus sounds like something you do with a corpse. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/122 "2011-05-04T14:44:39Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > \*Golden Nugget is not actually made of gold. Golden Nugget may resemble a round from an M4 or AR-15. Do not eat Golden Nugget. \*\*Do not taunt Happy Fun Nugget. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/123 "2011-05-04T15:02:41Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Habeus corpus sounds like something you do with a corpse. Considering he was a lecturer at the University of Chicago on constitutional law, etc., that sounds more like a repurposed Bush joke. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/124 "2011-05-04T15:10:53Z")
Osama the nasty despot Had a very big compound. And all the neighbors wondered Why he never was around. Everyone alive remembered September 11th, that fatal day. And they all wished that someone Would blow Old Osama away. Then one very good evening Obama called to say "Seals, it’s the right time today. Blow Osama’s head away. Then all the people were happy, Smiling through all the tears. We finally got Osama. It only took us ten long years. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/125 "2011-05-04T15:11:43Z")
So apparently all Osama’s wives have now changed their Facebook status to “single” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/126 "2011-05-04T15:27:01Z")
Osama’s thoughts on hearing a helicopter outside his compound “I need this like I need a hole in the head.” ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/127 "2011-05-04T15:29:01Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Heh. Has no one thought of: > > OBL - IM IN UR PAK HIDEOUT TAKIN U OUT - SEALS SEALS: You have no chance to survive make your time. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/128 "2011-05-04T16:57:54Z")
Carnak the Magnificent: Osama bin Laden’s beard. Ed McMahon: What’s black and white and red all over? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/129 "2011-05-04T17:09:25Z")
Did you know that before becoming a terrorist, bin Laden had a short career as a boxer? He had a decent jab, but he couldn’t take a shot to the head. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/130 "2011-05-04T17:11:26Z")
Who squealed “SEAL!” from the bedroom? Heidi Klum ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/131 "2011-05-04T17:38:54Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Who squealed “SEAL!” from the bedroom? > > Heidi Klum I don’t get it… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/132 "2011-05-04T17:40:06Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > I don’t get it… Heidi Klum is married to [Seal](http://www.seal.com/), the singer. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/133 "2011-05-04T17:57:08Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Heidi Klum is married to [Seal](http://www.seal.com/), the singer. So my first response to the question (“Who squeeled SEAL from the bedroom?”) ultimately turning out to be wrong is funny? I still don’t get it… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/134 "2011-05-04T21:55:43Z")
Introducing the Osama Bin Laden cocktail: 2 shots and a splash of water. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/135 "2011-05-05T01:38:52Z")
NMAtv (Taiwan’s Next Media Animation) have finished their documentaries on OBL. [Life in suburbia](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zPf0GGaM_g). The BHO mask was a nice touch. [The assault](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxZUM2Jd_vU). ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/136 "2011-05-05T02:08:26Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Just came across this one [What computer are you?](http://i.imgur.com/Z3Q0y.jpg) Is that John Lithgow up in the middle, in the back? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/137 "2011-05-05T06:36:37Z")
Craigs List: ROOMATE WANTED!! Recently vacated room needs some TLC (carpet shampooing, wall cleaning/patching, ect…) Muslim family of 13 looking for a clean, non smoking male that is preferably NOT on the FBI Most Wanted list. 7-eleven, mini-marts, and several gas stations will be closed this week due to a death in the family… When you want to get two bullets to the head why not call the very Best …Try Us , The Navy Seals , call 1-800-555- SEAL , Thats 1-800-555-SEAL , When you want to be killed like the cowardly dog you are why not go with the very best Declan ---
**Author:** ![scamartistry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@scamartistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scamartistry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/138 "2011-05-05T07:06:54Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Hopefully the mods will relax the rules about hoping for or rejoicing in anybody’s death just this once. Not like it’s Carrot Top or Joyce Dewitt we come not to praise here, after all. > > # Share any Osama bin Laden’s Dead jokes you can think of- your own or others (though to be neighborly you should specify if it’s not your own). > > 1. Here’s hoping his 72 virgins have the clap and look like Della Reese, Betty White, and or Minnie Pearl. > > 2. Or- that they’re butch lesbians waiting for him with chains. > > 3. I refuse to believe a thing Obama says until I see Osama bin Laden’s long form death certificate with the official seal of Hawaii. great…jokes… (?) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/139 "2011-05-05T17:03:17Z")
Knock knock. Who’s there? Navy SEALS. Navy SEALS, my eye. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455/140 "2011-05-06T00:43:35Z")
[Hitler reacts](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsnRKP56oxg). (stupid ad included) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/make-your-dead-osama-bin-laden-jokes-right-here-ladies-and-gentleman-get-em-while-theyre-hot/580455.md?page=8)