# Making actual use of the "12 days of X-Mas"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 25, 2020, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869 "2020-12-25T04:04:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/1 "2020-12-25T04:04:56Z")

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So, taking stock, there’s:

- partridge
- two turtle doves
- three French hens
- four calling birds
- five golden rings (!!!)
- six geese
- seven swans
- eight maids [albeit in the act of milking (cows?), posing logistical challenges]
- nine ladies
- ten lords
- 11 pipers
- 12 drummers (jesus christ)

Ok…I’m trying to figure out how in heavens to etsy can one really qualitatively appreciate these items, especially in relation to comparative worth to one another. \< (was that redundantly expressed, just there? Could I have eliminated the “to one another” part?)  
Because really, on the face of it, If I had my choice of these pickins, I’d just bloody bugger off to the pawn with the rings. Lightwieght, quick cash remuneration, done and done.  
Being stuck with a gaggle of foul, or ELEVEN (!!!) bloody bag-pipe players, honking away…maybe some village idiot might be piqued by such commodities.  
With the nine ladies dancing - I don’t know where to start. It’s not like I have any Hef-like grotto for them to lounge around in.  
So, as you can see, it’s all a mess, so it’s a matter, then, of sorting through all this crap to determine - ok, what can _I_ get out of this? Which of these items further my wellness, make me aspire to be a better person?  
If you folks could just plunder and pilfer through all of this, explain what would be prioritized, and why.

Yeah, great - 12 Gene Krupas, nice.

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**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/2 "2020-12-25T04:07:04Z")

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Sign me up for the Eight Maids, milking.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/3 "2020-12-25T04:10:33Z")

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✅

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**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/4 "2020-12-25T04:11:56Z")

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You forgot the pear tree.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/5 "2020-12-25T04:28:00Z")

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^ Yeah it crossed my mind, but thought it was an unwieldy accessory.

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/6 "2020-12-25T06:23:31Z")

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There is a theory that all of them are references to birds. So maybe just a large aviary. And since you wind up with 364 of them, maybe you kill or release one a day for the rest of the year.

And I guess you plant the 12 trees to get pears.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/7 "2020-12-25T07:30:39Z")

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> [@BigT](#):
>
> There is a theory that all of them are references to birds

Meaning - all 12 X-Mas days represent birds? Is this a common knowledege sort of theory? Not sure how days 8 - 12 (and that lucrative no. 5!) transmogrify into the avian thing.

> [@BigT](#):
>
> And I guess you plant the 12 trees to get pears.

Something tells me I’m completely misreading you again, but isn’t there only one pear tree, not 12? I’m sure I’m braincramping, somewhere, wierd egg nog, and all…  
Regardless, 12 trees are better than one - better yield, hence way more useful, so I like where you’re going…

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/8 "2020-12-25T07:53:16Z")

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It’s 23 birds at least, what the heck would you do with all those birds?

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**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/9 "2020-12-25T08:26:05Z")

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Depending on the timeframe and cultural standing, those birds make for a fine set of holiday meals – especially if you have _feed_ your new staff of entertainers, and farm workers.

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**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/10 "2020-12-25T08:28:47Z")

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Dude. Eight, Times five more days? Do you have that kind of milking capacity? Seriously, how much unmilked cattle do you own?

Note: I haven’t been wooshed. I got it. Still, capacity issues remain.

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**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/11 "2020-12-25T08:32:30Z")

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I wanna know what’s with lords a leaping. Seriously, are knighthoods that expensive, that they hire themselves out? Don’t they have estates that they have to provide Christmas dinners for – are are they so hard up, they roam around, leaping for meals?

I won’t tell you what they leap upon. Some of those ladies may never dance again. (Alan Thicke told that joke on his talk show … many years ago.)

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/12 "2020-12-25T09:19:33Z")

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> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#):
>
> > [@BigT](#):
> >
> > There is a theory that all of them are references to birds
> 
> Meaning - all 12 X-Mas days represent birds? Is this a common knowledege sort of theory? Not sure how days 8 - 12 (and that lucrative no. 5!) transmogrify into the avian thing.

That’s the old rumor. It usually starts from the idea that the gold rings was common name for a type of bird, and then people extrapolate the rest. It’s not a very good theory.

> [@](#):
>
> > [@BigT](#):
> >
> > And I guess you plant the 12 trees to get pears.
> 
> Something tells me I’m completely misreading you again, but isn’t there only one pear tree, not 12?

You read me correctly. Each of the twelve days ends with you a partridge in a pear tree. So you wind up with 12 trees and 12 partridges.

Doing the math, you get a total of 364 presents if you consider the partridge/pear tree combo a single present"

- 1 \* 12 (days) = 12 partridges in (12) pear trees
- 2 \* 11 = 22 turtle doves
- 3 \* 10 = 30 French hens
- 4 \* 9 = 36 colly (or calling) birds
- 5 \* 8 = 40 gold(en) rings
- 6 \* 7 = 42 geese a-laying
- 7 \* 6 = 42 swans a-swimming
- 8 \* 5 = 40 maids a milking
- 9 \* 4 = 36 drummer drumming\*
- 10 \* 3 = 30 pipers piping\*
- 11 \* 2 = 22 ladies dancing\*
- 12 \* 1 = 12 lords a-leaping\*

\*I used the version published in 1780 for the order of the last four gifts. I, like nearly everyone, have trouble remembering the order, so I thought I’d go with the earliest.

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**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/13 "2020-12-25T14:03:15Z")

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> [@BigT](#):
>
> Doing the math, you get a total of 364 presents if you consider the partridge/pear tree combo a single present"

I always wondered if the song verses meant that the giver was giving repeated presents, or just adding a new present and reminding what they had already given? 364 presents with a large number of duplicates seems awfully excessive.

If it is the former, with 30 drummers drumming you could perform a kickass cover of Fleetwood Mac’s song ‘Tusk’ or Paul Simon’s ‘Rythym of the Saints’ album.

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**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/14 "2020-12-25T15:03:15Z")

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I always imagined this as the song of some medieval “kept” woman in some remote part of the castle out of the queen’s sight. Starved for companionship and diversion, the king gifts her an assortment of pets and entertainment. The gold rings were a test of her devotion to her “true love”, since she could use these to bribe the guards and elope with the stable boy.

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**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/15 "2020-12-25T15:18:10Z")

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You’re going to end up with even more birds than you think. Don’t forget, those geese are a-laying. Before long, those eggs will be a-hatching.

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/16 "2020-12-25T15:43:32Z")

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I’ll take the drummers and lords. Some will have to be returned.

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**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/17 "2020-12-25T16:25:28Z")

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> [@Arkcon](#):
>
> Seriously, how much unmilked cattle do you own?

Cattle? Interesting idea…

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/18 "2020-12-25T17:44:20Z")

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Yeah the leaping lords thing. Were the gentry given to spontaneous jigs, or trying to stave off the ravages of venereal disease, or what, I dunno, but it seems to me their jumping / flinging abilities would not, in any way, serve them much use, other than to establish themselves as silly fops.

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**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/19 "2020-12-25T18:44:33Z")

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You use the maids and the ladies to seduce the lords. The lords pass legislation to subsidize your cattle-and-poultry farm. The pipers and drummers form a band to march in the New Year’s Day parade to advertise your farm, in order to sell the milk, eggs, meat, and _fois gras_.

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**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-actual-use-of-the-12-days-of-x-mas/928869/20 "2020-12-25T19:01:23Z")

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> [@mbh](#):
>
> You use the maids and the ladies to seduce the lords. The lords pass legislation to subsidize your cattle-and-poultry farm. The pipers and drummers form a band to march in the New Year’s Day parade to advertise your farm, in order to sell the milk, eggs, meat, and _fois gras_ .

You’re going to need a corporate statement.

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