Phone. Big thumbs little letters. You figured it out. I like Ronulan. 
There used to be signs in the airport warning people against even joking that they had bombs in their luggage. The reason is that law enforcement has to take these threats seriously.
No they don’t. No one has to, or even should, take jokes seriously. Regardless of their tastelessness.
I beg you, please don’t discourage brevity when it can be found on this board.
Soz.
After thinking it over, if the statement is made during a joking exchange, even a night in jail is pretty ridiculous. The second story sounds like it wasn’t friendly joking, but two people in an angry exchange, and I can see putting more investigation into that one. But Grumman, you’re right about the first case. Just in the last 24 hours I’ve read Dopers “threatening” death and dismemberment for telemarketers and bad driving, and I didn’t bat an eye, after all.