# Making up historical spam
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 7, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214 "2009-07-07T16:59:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 8
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/1 "2009-07-07T16:59:08Z")
Or, Please Help the Tsar Buy Back his Summer Palace from the Americans.
I’ve been tossing around this idea for a while, with a couple of friends. We’ve been trying to come up with weird, not-immediately-obvious temporarily dislocated spam. Things like,
"_Other issues have been distracting us from the most important- our boys are out there fighting for our lives and liberty. We, the citizenry, owe them our support. Please contribute to our noble cause, and keep the boys in grey going. Long live the Confederacy!"_
Or
_"Unless you comply with the following list of demands, your country will be invaded and conquered withing a week. The Mighty Genghis suffers no one to insult his power and sovereignity…_
It would be fun to follow up with a notice suggesting that the country has been conquered, and all the people are required to adopt Mongol dialect and dress.
Or
_“Good pay, benefits, and health care! The striking London Rag and Bone Picker’s Union demands better working conditions, higher pay, and at least one rat to eat per week!”_
Note: we are not under any circumstances thinking about spamming anyone. This is a a fun thought experiment.
Also up for grabs: Alexander the Great’s invasions, fighting off any kind of barbarians, scurrilous gossip about Cleopatra, and probably thousands of other options that haven’t occurred to us yet. Contributions?
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### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/2 "2009-07-07T17:02:58Z")
Could you define “spam” better? Are you looking for bureaucratic boilerplate, sales pitches, press releases, or all of the above?
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/3 "2009-07-07T17:40:09Z")
I was expecting a post more like TIRED OF WITCHEZ CURSING YOUR MANHOOD?? THESE SEXXXY WENCHES ARE SO HOT THEY’LL MAKE YOU FORGET YOU HAVE SYPHILLIS. Or something.
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/4 "2009-07-07T20:12:33Z")
1ncrease the s1ze of your navee! Enlarge your gun size by two inches!! Your DREADNOUGHT w1ll impress all the sa1lors!
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/5 "2009-07-07T20:37:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#):
>
> I was expecting a post more like TIRED OF WITCHEZ CURSING YOUR MANHOOD?? THESE SEXXXY WENCHES ARE SO HOT THEY’LL MAKE YOU FORGET YOU HAVE SYPHILLIS. Or something.
[or something like that](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjeqRHdBwkY) 🙂
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/6 "2009-07-07T20:48:45Z")
The High Priest Caiaphas is giving our a considerble amount of sivler to anyone kissing his or her saviour(s). **THIS IS NOT A SACM**.
Frederick the Elder kissed Malachio just last week and he recieved 50 pieces of silver. Do not wait. Kiss your saviour today!
Please forward this message to all your friends or face eternal damnation in hell.
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### Author:  [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/7 "2009-07-07T22:22:22Z")
LOSE WEIGHT FAST & KEEP IT OFF!!! [www.blackplaguediet.com](http://www.blackplaguediet.com) 4 more details!!!
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)
#### Post date: [July 7, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/making-up-historical-spam/502214/8 "2009-07-07T23:11:23Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#):
>
> [or something like that](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjeqRHdBwkY) 🙂
I rarely do this, but LOL. Someone pointing at the camera and making a statement in that infomercial voice gets me every time.