# Malacandra deserves his own thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512 "2003-03-06T16:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/1 "2003-03-06T16:29:50Z")
I first noticed this Dumbass posting in the [Blue John](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3080784#post3080784) Pit thread where he said > [@](#): > > He’s got _some_ point about the pussification of modern society, mind you. It isn’t necessarily about who holds the office of Head of State but of whose butt they have to kiss to stay there (that’s democracy for you), and in consideration of that, you really have to go “…Huh?” at some of the things you see. When I asked him to clarify what he meant by “pussification”, he obfuscated and dodged. Which annoyed the hell out of me. I pressed for an answer and I get this little gem, > [@](#): > > I’ll just indulge myself with a quiet chuckle over your implication that I might be a misogynist, though. I don’t suppose you’d be convinced differently even if I produced signed testimonies from the assorted women who’ve turned to me for comfort, sympathy, a friendly, listening ear and the odd word of good advice over the past couple of decades? I thought not. _ **Might** _ be? Anyone who would comment about the “pussification” of modern society is most likely somewhat misogynistic. So I decided to review some of your other posts. [Here’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3056848#post3056848) a long diatribe describing why women don’t fight in wars. He sets up the comparison that while men fought in wars and risked life and limb, the only inconvenience women had back home was not getting to vote. You really have to read the whole thing, but I loved this part in which we learn women, especially modern liberated women, just aren’t grateful enough. > [@](#): > > Arguing that women never needed protection after a few thousand years of men taking the lumps and bumps for them smacks of gross ingratitude, at the very least. Gee, I wonder who exactly they were protecting the women-folk _from_. In any case, I’m glad to see that you’ve been able to summarize human history and evolution _in toto_ so convincingly. Over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3091550#post3091550), we learn about how self-centered women are in relationships. > [@](#): > > Women want you to be paying attention to their problems, they don’t want to have to spend time listening to yours. Need I even comment? He also not only doubts rape statistics, but believes there’s some kind of organized effort to [disparage men](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3045678#post3045678). > [@](#): > > This isn’t exactly a _fear_ issue for me, so much as _outrage_ at the deliberate slander being perpetrated against my sex, and at the political motivations of those doing so. I think these samples, plentiful for someone with fewer than 100 posts, are ample evidence of misogyny. Not surprisingly, I think I noticed some homophobia in [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2874847#post2874847) > [@](#): > > Ian McKellen sees a homoerotic subtext between Frodo and Sam? > > This is hardly surprising, given that he is a ravi _snip_ I really want clarification on what a “ravi” is before calling him out on this. But considering that he still hasn’t clarified what “pussification” means, I doubt I’ll get an answer to this one. However many of the rest of his posts in that thread suggest he may have a problem with homosexuals. If you don’t harbor some homophobia, then why bother refuting the eroticism some people read into the work? Put your cards on the table, **Malacandra**. Let’s hear about the detrimental side-effects of the “pussification” of modern society. Quit dancing around the edges with innuendo. Stealth bigots are more dangerous and just as despicable, in my book, than the honest ones. Either come out and say what you mean or shut the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/2 "2003-03-06T16:51:36Z")
“ravi _snip_”: “raving” (as in “raving homosexual/insert your own slur here”). ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/3 "2003-03-06T16:52:33Z")
So now calling someone a pussy equals being a misogynist? Are there any suitable insults left? (Note, I’m note coming to **Mala** ’s defense, just wondering why _pussy_ has now been added to the list of non-PC insults. As much as I dislike the comic **Mallard Fillmore** , I’m wondering if his take on the PC Language Police was indeed correct) ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/4 "2003-03-06T16:59:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > **Let’s hear about the detrimental side-effects of the “pussification” of modern society.** Well, there’s the increased milk consumption, the decrease in productivity from being distracted by balls of yarn, and the hairballs. Oh God, the hairballs. But at least everyone always lands on their feet. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/5 "2003-03-06T17:07:57Z")
“Pussification” is misogynistic. When a guy tells another guy not to be a pussy, he’s saying not to be weak, or worse, act gay. Being a woman, I tell my girlfriends they’re being pussies all the time when they’re being weak. In an attempt to encourage them to stand up for themselves. (It’s different amongst the girls…trust me). But guys who say it generally have a problem with women. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/6 "2003-03-06T17:14:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*But guys who say it generally have a problem with women. \*\* :eek: What fucking planet are you on? I’m serious. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/7 "2003-03-06T17:28:48Z")
Another one of these ‘okay when the included group uses it, but no one else can’ insults. Got it. Rolleyes cannot fully convey the depth of facetiousness meant to be portrayed in the above statement. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/8 "2003-03-06T17:50:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by D\_Odds \* > **So now calling someone a pussy equals being a misogynist?** Yes. If you use an inherent charactistic of bio-females, that of having a vagina, as an insult, then you are denigrating the entire group. What more do you need to qualify? > [@](#): > > **Are there any suitable insults left?** Those that don’t play on stereotypes of groups of people. Dumbass, as I used in the OP, does not insult a group of people based on a negative stereotype of the group. Therefore when applied to one person, as in the OP, it does not further insult others. Instead, it is a condemnation of a specific poster. And please don’t get into the sophistry of saying that not all asses are dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/9 "2003-03-06T17:53:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kalhoun_ > (It’s different amongst the girls…trust me). YMMV, obviously, but the women I know most certainly find the phrase offensive even when used by other women. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/10 "2003-03-06T18:12:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Yes. If you use an inherent charactistic of bio-females, that of having a vagina, as an insult, then you are denigrating the entire group. What more do you need to qualify? > \*\* So you must oppose the insult Dick as well, since it is anti-man. I use pussy because it gets a reaction out of the target, not because of some deep hatred for women. > [@](#): > > \*\*Those that don’t play on stereotypes of groups of people. Dumbass, as I used in the OP, does not insult a group of people based on a negative stereotype of the group. Therefore when applied to one person, as in the OP, it does not further insult others. Instead, it is a condemnation of a specific poster. And please don’t get into the sophistry of saying that not all asses are dumb. \*\* Sorry, Dumbass insults the mentally retarded. You don’t hate the mentally retarded, do you? And as for that last part, so you can dissect what we mean by using certain insults, but we can’t for you? Hypocritical at best. ---
**Author:** ![d\_redguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/11 "2003-03-06T18:23:02Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Malacandra:_ > 3) Acting as if her “no” means “no” when it doesn’t > 4) Acting as if her “no” doesn’t mean “no” when it does. Yikes!! That’s kinda scary. Here’s a tip for you, friend **Mal** , #3 doesn’t exist. And if it does, find a new woman. As far as “pussyfication” goes, eh. I might wanna hear what he has to say on it, but I am not going to pretend to be all worked up over it. I mean, I _like_ cats. Have three of 'em myself. It is possible that he regrets it, and wishes to let it wither on the vine, so to speak. Maybe he realized that not _all_ cats are evil. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, here, **Mal**. Please don’t disappoint. \ He meant **what**? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/12 "2003-03-06T18:24:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*Sorry, Dumbass insults the mentally retarded. You don’t hate the mentally retarded, do you? And as for that last part, so you can dissect what we mean by using certain insults, but we can’t for you? Hypocritical at best. \*\* I think you’ll find that it only insults people whose _bottoms_ are mentally retarded. Buttmunch. (Sorry if I offended people who like eating bottoms). ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/13 "2003-03-06T18:30:33Z")
Sheesh, I hope I’m not pitted next for speaking up a little for **Malacandra**. I might not agree with everything he’s ever said, but some parts of what BJ was saying (that **Malacandra** wanted to clarify) made me want to back him. Aren’t most insults based on some sort of stereotype? I might not call my friends pussies (ok, maybe in grade school) but I sometimes call them retarded or bitches. I guess I’m insulting female dogs…gosh I’m a dog misogynist! And when I call them crackers (they’re not white) I guess I’m showing a little racial hatred there as well. I can agree that some of what was quote is pretty dumb (women certainly should/could fight in wars) but the whole pussy = misogynist is not an argument I’d want to make. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/14 "2003-03-06T18:38:28Z")
**Homebrew** I agree that his failure to explain or recant his use of “pussification” was egregious and irritating. I can also see how his use of “ravi” was potentially offensive, though in an era when I hear gays freely use phrases such as “He’s just a big old fag”, and professors openly teach courses titled “Queer Literature”, then it’s hard to know what’s offensive and what is just appropriated colloquial speech. I hadn’t read **Mala’s** other posts until you linked to them here. Now that I’ve read his original posts, I think **Mala** goes a little overboard, but he generally is making cogent arguments for a point of view. Having reviewed his statements, I think you quoted him out of context and imposed your own biased spin on what he meant. Doubting rape statistics does not, per se, equate with misogyny (a discussion that has been beaten to a pulp). If you think that _no one_ has a political motivation to disparage men, then you’re sadly deluded and need some intravenous reality, stat. I think you’re over-reacting and interpreting his meaning incorrectly. His main flaw is being cowardly in clarifying his views about “pussification”. I don’t know if he is homophobic or not, but there is very little evidence to support your contentions. Worse, you have distorted his meanings in your OP. Maybe he is a bigoted jerk, but sorry, the evidence isn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/15 "2003-03-06T18:50:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by d\_redguy \* > \*\*Yikes!! That’s kinda scary. Here’s a tip for you, friend **Mal** , #3 doesn’t exist. And if it does, find a new woman. > \*\* I’ve been given hell for believing a no meant no. He: “Do you mind if I’m late for dinner?” She: “No” He: "Are you sure? She: “Yes” He: “Cuz I can make an excuse to leave work if it’s upsetting” She: “No” He: “You won’t mind?” She: “No” 3 months later she brings it up as an example of how I ignored her. He: “But you told me you didn’t mind!”, She: “Well, you’re supposed to know what I **really** meant!” I swear to god this has happened more than once. Oh, and I did get out of that so-called relationship eventually. #3 does exist. Guys do it too, of course. I’ve done it (i.e. said no when I meant yes). And I agree that it can be scary – for obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/16 "2003-03-06T18:52:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone who would comment about the “pussification” of modern society is most likely somewhat misogynistic. Anyone who says this is looking for a fight over something rather silly. I’m glad it paid off for you. Supposing it didn’t, would you consider pitting yourself for jumping to such stupid fucking conclusions? Doubtful. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/17 "2003-03-06T18:54:57Z")
Can I please get a list of acceptable putdowns. Asshole insults all animals, therefore I’m an annihilist. Buttmunch, we’ll I eat porkbutt, so PETA’s offended. **Tars** shot down dumbass. Obviously dick and prick are out. I suppose I could be nice and never say a bad word about anyone ever again, but I don’t think I can remain silent for the next 40+ years. I’m in agreement with **FranticMad** ; you are applying your own biases to statements made by others. I’ll even go as far to say that I agree with **Mala** ’s declining to engage you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/18 "2003-03-06T19:05:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by D\_Odds \* > \*\*Can I please get a list of acceptable putdowns. Asshole insults all animals, therefore I’m an annihilist. Buttmunch, we’ll I eat porkbutt, so PETA’s offended. **Tars** shot down dumbass. Obviously dick and prick are out. I suppose I could be nice and never say a bad word about anyone ever again, but I don’t think I can remain silent for the next 40+ years. > > I’m in agreement with **FranticMad** ; you are applying your own biases to statements made by others. I’ll even go as far to say that I agree with **Mala** ’s declining to engage you. \*\* Did you call someone a Dick, you misandrist…er, um, herb? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/19 "2003-03-06T19:09:50Z")
This PC shit will be the death of society. Calling someone a pussy = misogynist, is the **THE STUPIDEST _FUCKING_ THING I’VE EVER HEARD!** ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512/20 "2003-03-06T19:15:46Z")
What a sheltered life you’ve led, **World Eater**. I’ve heard much stupider. It does, however, get honorable mention in the overreacting category. **Ace** , are you calling me a herb, you…you…you…SPICE! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/malacandra-deserves-his-own-thread/159512.md?page=2)