# Male Centrism at the Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437 "2018-06-05T00:04:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/341 "2018-06-05T21:13:14Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Responding to the bolded part: Yes, that’s exactly what some women are doing. Not at all. What we’re responding to is that some men act like jerks to assert their gender and sexual dominance. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/342 "2018-06-05T21:20:06Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > MrDibble. You’re allowing yourself to be trolled. He is deliberately making his points inflammatory. It’s only successful trolling if he actually upsets me, as opposed to merely making me think up ever-more colourful invective. Really, I should thank him for the creative exercise. It’s mighty white of him. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/343 "2018-06-05T21:25:58Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Having had a trip through the poverty tunnel myself, I have to agree there is also classism on this board (but I’m not going to go into detail because really, that deserves its own thread). > > But yeah, if you’ve experienced more classism than sexism you’ll probably be more sensitive to classism and see the bigotry others experience through that lens. That’s not right or wrong, it just is, it’s what you do with it that makes the difference. Do you use your experiences at being on the short end of the stick to empathize with the discrimination others feel? Then you’ve learned something. There are other people, though, who will shout others down because they feel THEIR hurts are more important than anyone else’s. Those people tend to be assholes. So… don’t be an asshole. 😉 I’d like to see a thread like this because I don’t understand what you mean, and I want to. While I know what classism is, I haven’t recognized it here and that bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/344 "2018-06-05T21:33:18Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Please say you understand the difference between exclusively metaphorical imagery of being punched in the dick and generation after generation of women who comprise half the population on this planet that have been (and continues to be in many parts of the world) treated in a very real abusive fashion, and now are being not so subtly told to just get over/past all that already. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I was saying that society treats maleness as a default and it’s kinda uncomfortable for us women, not… whatever comparison you thought I was making. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/345 "2018-06-05T21:35:48Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Folks are just saying something like “hey, maybe a bunch of these types of posts are a big turnoff for a lot of potential contributors, and maybe y’all would like to consider that next time you post”. No advocacy of censorship, or control, or threats, or anything but trying to make the board better. > > You could say “I’ll consider that when I post, because I like y’all and want y’all to keep contributing”, or you could accuse them of being disingenuous. > > Which response do you think would “stir up” more drama? In a vacuum option 2. In context to the other threads in multiple locations I think option 1 is more likely. But, hey, if this thread is nothing more than concern and asking for tone policing than I guess I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/346 "2018-06-05T21:36:16Z")
Thank you to the men here who have said you’ll try to do better. It’s MUCH appreciated! There were a couple of you and I didn’t want you to think no one noticed. Anyone who has tried to understand and be supportive, thank you, too. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/347 "2018-06-05T21:36:52Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > It’s only successful trolling if he actually upsets me, as opposed to merely making me think up ever-more colourful invective. Really, I should thank him for the creative exercise. > > It’s mighty white of him. lol. Why you gotta bring race into it? ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/348 "2018-06-05T21:37:50Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I’d like to see a thread like this because I don’t understand what you mean, and I want to. While I know what classism is, I haven’t recognized it here and that bothers me. Start [with this one.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=854488) Not looking to hi-jack this thread on the classism argument, but yes, there are many posters here that are well off, and feel that that makes them better people than those who are less well off. There is quite a bit of dismissiveness towards the difficulties and concerns of the less affluent. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/349 "2018-06-05T21:38:21Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Anyone who has tried to understand and be supportive, thank you, too. I have seven sisters, one of whom has been in the Marines and probably could still whoop my ass if she really wanted. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/350 "2018-06-05T21:38:30Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > […]Actually, I’d be somewhat gobsmacked if anyone, male or female, remembered much of anything in particular I’ve ever written here. Get ye to the fainting couch. You are known… > [@TriPolar](#): > > Why is this subject only being brought up in the Pit and ATMB threads. Why isn’t it being held in a forum where there’s real moderation? I’m ready to talk to anyone who wants to have a rational discussion instead of hurling invective. > > Also, sorry **Sunny Daze** , I have looked at this thread somewhat as just more attacks on me for simply asking why a thread was closed without knowing about this ongoing controversy, and the mod who closed that thread admitted the warning and closure notice was unclear. I understand the point you are making. I would like to find a solution. I’d go on but I’m just going to get slammed for anything I say here. But I do apologize for lumping you in with others who have nothing to contribute other than complaints and calls for censorship. I’m glad you understand that this is about more than one thread (and it wasn’t about you). What I was trying to do was to get people to look at the overall atmosphere of the Dope. Any one of those polls by itself is fine. Taken all together they are an example of how it feels very male focused at the Dope. At this point, a lot of people of said this far more eloquently than I did. Thank you for listening. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Oh my gosh, I had no idea you cared. That’s so swee– > ☹ You are on my “please don’t go list”. 🙂 (So are you **Monstro** ) > [@octopus](#): > > […]You folks weren’t pleased with the NSFW tag and are now trying another gambit. C’mon now! That issue is settled, yet you are still focused on it. Let it go. We’re talking about something else. Also, for the 102nd time, if you don’t like the way people talk in the Pit, why are you here? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/351 "2018-06-05T21:39:20Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I’d like to see a thread like this because I don’t understand what you mean, and I want to. While I know what classism is, I haven’t recognized it here and that bothers me. If Crazy Canuck doesn’t start one maybe I will… right now I’m in training for a new role at work and adjusting to a new, earlier shift so I’m a bit toasty around the edges at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/352 "2018-06-05T21:42:32Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > But, hey, if this thread is nothing more than concern and asking for tone policing than I guess I’m wrong. I think you’re wrong. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/353 "2018-06-05T21:44:52Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Get ye to the fainting couch. You are known… > > I’m glad you understand that this is about more than one thread (and it wasn’t about you). What I was trying to do was to get people to look at the overall atmosphere of the Dope. Any one of those polls by itself is fine. Taken all together they are an example of how it feels very male focused at the Dope. At this point, a lot of people of said this far more eloquently than I did. Thank you for listening. > > You are on my “please don’t go list”. 🙂 > > (So are you **Monstro** ) > > That issue is settled, yet you are still focused on it. Let it go. We’re talking about something else. > > Also, for the 102nd time, if you don’t like the way people talk in the Pit, why are you here? Oh, what a misandrist and hypocritical post. Telling me to ignore content instead of _listening._ ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/354 "2018-06-05T21:45:34Z")
Anyone who thinks women aren’t bailing out of this place ought to go find some of the monumental discussions previously held regarding board misogyny and the boy’s club atmosphere and start looking at usernames. Sometimes I get a little mopey seeing all the strong, sassy, funny women who’ve decided that this place isn’t worth their time any more and didn’t land at the Raffe. I especially like the suggestion of “well, women need to post more threads so they’ll see stuff they like!” Know how that goes? You have an idea for a thread that’s more female centric, a question you’d like to see a consensus on, maybe some commiseration on a problem you, as a woman, are very familiar with. You go so far as to start composing the OP–and then you start thinking about what the response is going to be, and who’s likely to show up in the first ten seconds, and what they’re probably going to say and how much of a fucking slog it’s going to be to try to winnow anything useful or amusing out of that mire of shit you know is ready and eager to pour out into your unsuspecting thread. You know what it’s going to be because you’ve read countless similar threads and every single one has gone to shit because of the toxic masculinity boy’s club cadre and you think about how tiring it is to deal with that and do you really want to try to shepherd your little thread through it and make something of it. And the answer is almost always “Oh, no, just fuck this shit.” And you post that OP on a subreddit or another message board where you know it’ll get some care and attention. Multiply that x a million and you have the female experience of the Durp. Ignore it? Yep, we do. I swear the only reason this board has any traffic is because of the Raffe snark threads that allow people to only engage when it’s useful or might do some good because the endless shitty task of winnowing through the quotidian sausage fest is being crowdsourced. Snark miners are fucking heroes, my hat’s off to 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/355 "2018-06-05T21:48:10Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Oh, what a misandrist and hypocritical post. Telling me to ignore content instead of _listening._ She offered you a taste of your own medicine and you didn’t like it? How rude. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/356 "2018-06-05T21:48:11Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Multiply that x a million and you have the female experience of the Durp. Ignore it? Yep, we do. I swear the only reason this board has any traffic is because of the Raffe snark threads that allow people to only engage when it’s useful or might do some good because the endless shitty task of winnowing through the quotidian sausage fest is being crowdsourced. Snark miners are fucking heroes, my hat’s off to 'em! Ah, there it is in a nutshell. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/357 "2018-06-05T21:51:05Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > lol. Why you gotta bring race into it? Oh, it wasn’t me who opened [the racist door](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21001771#post21001771), bub. But figures you’d be too much of a coward to own to it. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/358 "2018-06-05T21:54:24Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > If Crazy Canuck doesn’t start one maybe I will… right now I’m in training for a new role at work and adjusting to a new, earlier shift so I’m a bit toasty around the edges at the moment. I’m in the hospital and on fairly heavy meds right now, so I won’t be starting any threads. Right now it’s a lot of effort to just communicate somewhat coherently, I just wanted to post something in moral support to the ladies of the dope. That said, if you do start one, I will try to participate. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/359 "2018-06-05T21:56:15Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Oh it’s the existence of Betty vs Veronica? You need a safe place, snowflake? Says the bunghole who gets the vapors over a few four letter words. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/360 "2018-06-05T21:59:38Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Oh, it wasn’t me who opened [the racist door](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21001771#post21001771), bub. But figures you’d be too much of a coward to own to it. I’m not surprised your low IQ and intellectually dishonest self can’t comprehend simple English. That’s partly on your schools and partly on your parents. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=19)