# Male Centrism at the Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437 "2018-06-05T00:04:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/421 "2018-06-06T03:41:48Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > If it were adolescent boys behaving badly, it may not be off-putting. I may feel the need to correct them, though. > But, guess what? Grown men shouldn’t act like adolescent boys. Hear, hear, Beck! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/422 "2018-06-06T03:44:16Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > And again, it devolves into a shit show of insults between octopus and several others. ☹ > > Jesus Christ, just put each other on ignore already or exercise some self-control. Ignore is a wonderful feature that has made this thread half as long for me, but as with **Clothy** there’s a point where it would be better for the board if someone would just get lost. > [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Yes - I think we have reached DNFTT territory here. He’s adding nothing to the discussion. Worse, he has detracted greatly from the discussion. > [@Lamia](#): > > I recently took a little break from the boards due partially to RL issues but also because I was frustrated with the male centrism and outright sexism. When I returned in the midst of the recent **Skald** controversy, I almost turned right back around again. For those who say “Just ignore it”, well, since we’re in the Pit I can say that a number of posters in this thread are _already_ on my ignore list. I added another a few minutes ago, then thought “I could ignore them even better by not coming here at all.” > > I’ve been a Doper for nearly 20 years and as long as the SDMB is still around I doubt I’ll give it up altogether, but it may be time for a lengthier break. Especially since I’ve increasingly felt that there’s little point in posting about many of the topics that interest me. > > […] > > It’s depressing to think now the variety of topics I’ve limited myself from posting about because I didn’t want to deal with the “toxic masculinity boy’s club cadre” (not the catchiest name, but accurate). I actually just wrote another three paragraphs and decided it wasn’t worth it. The only people who’d care would be the people who already get it. Aphorism time! Don’t hide your light under a bushel basket! The squeaky wheel gets the grease! If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem! _ **Welcome back; please stay!** _ > [@Lasciel](#): > > I’m reporting this post for mod attention. I reported it because it’s a great idea. My own behavior has changed because of the interventions of some people here. It’s like the two-by-four the Mule Whisperer used: “First, you gotta get his attention.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/423 "2018-06-06T03:47:34Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I know some of you don’t like me and more than a few think I’m an asshole (which I readily admit), but if someone needs a man to call out another man in a thread because he isn’t listening to the women, or they don’t feel comfortable calling attention to themselves (which I totally get, but hey, I’m an asshole who talks out of turn)… > > Then I’m your man. Just PM me. Yet you have been one of the ones dragged along kicking and screaming. You didn’t join the woman’s side until after the mods had ruled in the ATMB thread. Then you were all “yeah, we did it.” You even started out in this thread working against Sunny D. Pick a side and stay there. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/424 "2018-06-06T03:48:48Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Correction. > > They are not off-putting TO YOU. As this thread shows, they are in fact off-putting to some other people. This is kind of interesting to me. It’s not off-putting to him, but it is for you and me and many other people who have posted. Why would he think his opinion should be given more weight than yours, Sunny’s, mine, or any one else who does find them off-putting? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/425 "2018-06-06T03:59:35Z")
I remember when the \*\*Duchess of MPSIMS \*\*slammed 2 threads shut in 5 minutes in MPSIMS. Those 2 threads would have made Sunny’s list of they had breathed life. That was before all this surfaced. Things will improve. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/426 "2018-06-06T04:00:25Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Pick a side and stay there. This is bad advice. It’s also is against this board’s mission. It also puts petty tribal membership above conceptual flexibility. Bad form. Bad politics too, but I digress. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/427 "2018-06-06T04:02:28Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > This is kind of interesting to me. It’s not off-putting to him, but it is for you and me and many other people who have posted. Why would he think his opinion should be given more weight than yours, Sunny’s, mine, or any one else who does find them off-putting? I never said I didn’t find them off putting. I said the existence of content I don’t choose to participate in or enjoy reading should not cease because of my preferences. Why should your opinion have more weight than those who do enjoy that content? Again, it’s not like space is scarce on the internet. A thread you choose not to participate in hinders your ability to participate in other threads exactly how? It’s pathetic that I have to deal with illiterate, unwashed, misanthropes when I make that simple point though. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/428 "2018-06-06T04:02:43Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Not getting this at all. > > There are lots of threads in several fora here. By the titles and mouseovers I can tell right off that many of them are of no interest to me so I **don’t click them**. It is easy to do, that not clicking. In fact so easy that it my action for most threads here. Heck, there are fora I don’t even open. There’s many threads which appear interesting to me on mouseover, but when I enter it’s like “who the fuck peed all over the sandbox?” because they’ve been hijacked by the old-fashioned, “take me to Cuba” kind of guys. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/429 "2018-06-06T04:04:51Z")
Don’t know who that was to because I have Morgenstern on ignore, but as I said in the troll thread, Morgenstern is just a troll who spends 99% of his time hurling insults at people. He may calm down for a post or two but then goes straight back to hurling feces. His entire purpose in those previous threads was to hurl shit and create distractionary arguments while pretending to be supportive. From the Omnibus Troll thread; > [@Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/omnibus-trolls-r-us-thread/755489/8108): > > Speaking of **Morgenstern** , I gotta ask - what’s your story? Not even a year ago, you were flying that misogyny flag high and proud [in this thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=830387), attacking **Sunny D** and every other woman who dared respond. Then you bragged on the Giraffe boards about how you loved to troll the retards over here. And now you’re the knight in shining armor defending the women. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/430 "2018-06-06T04:06:48Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Don’t know who that was to because I have Morgenstern on ignore, …; That gives you 2 things in common with Clothahump. 🙂 And one ain’t a dojo. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/431 "2018-06-06T04:11:25Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Don’t know who that was to because I have Morgenstern on ignore, but as I said in the troll thread, Morgenstern is just a troll who spends 99% of his time hurling insults at people. He may calm down for a post or two but then goes straight back to hurling feces. > > His entire purpose in those previous threads was to hurl shit and create distractionary arguments while pretending to be supportive. > > From the Omnibus Troll thread; Yes douchnozzle, I fucked up. Then I realized I had fucked up, and I had to change the way I thought. So I changed how I thought and I did what I could to make amends to those I offended. I did it, I own it, and I’m committed to never go there again. I seriously believe you are a meth head. It would take chemicals to have a mind that switches poles as fast as yours does. Which explains why, as you said, your wife left you because of mental problems. We now know who had the mental problems. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/432 "2018-06-06T04:22:14Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Don’t know who that was to because I have Morgenstern on ignore, but as I said in the troll thread, Morgenstern is just a troll who spends 99% of his time hurling insults at people. He may calm down for a post or two but then goes straight back to hurling feces. > > His entire purpose in those previous threads was to hurl shit and create distractionary arguments while pretending to be supportive. > > From the Omnibus Troll thread; That’s a fascinating and very illuminating thread. Who’s the real Morgenstern and is this admitted trolling from the past truly in the past or is he playing a new game? My guess is no change he just wanted some henchmen. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/433 "2018-06-06T04:23:42Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > It’s actually hamster powered. 😉 > OK, this is yet another example of the male PoV. > > The answer to “too many rate-a-woman threads” is NOT an equal number of “rate-a-man threads”. That’s a very common male assumption that “equality” or “fairness” in topics means an equal number of the type of topics _men_ like, but gender-flipped. > > I can not speak for all women, but frankly, I find ALL the “rate-this-type-of-people” threads to be tedious at best, and vaguely icky most of the time. That’s my opinion, which is why I am seldom seen in them. Saying “But you can come up with your own rate-X-things” type of threads! doesn’t work for me _because it’s not an activity I’m interested in regardless of the gender(s) involved_. > > Personally, I’d be much more interested in “how to size and purchase bras” and “how to best shave your legs” and “how to deal with all the weird shit menopause has imposed on me” but I _don’t dare start them_ because INVARIABLY the men show up and start taking over. Look, guys, you want to be supportive? Go ahead and read threads like that _but don’t comment_. Just _don’t_. Because those threads are not about you. (Unless you’re a guy with boobs substantial enough to need a bra and you need advice about sizing/purchasing. And I mean _really_ have that problem, not just pretending/trolling.) We’ve had men chime in with helpful comments, like, “my wife had that problem and this is what she did.” Or in medical threads, advice from people like Qadgop is always welcome, I’d say. But I know what you mean. Fortunately, (after a long, hard battle), there’s a rule against “dur…boobies!” comments. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/434 "2018-06-06T04:30:22Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > That’s a fascinating and very illuminating thread. Who’s the real Morgenstern and is this admitted trolling from the past truly in the past or is he playing a new game? > My guess is no change he just wanted some henchmen. Even if that was true, at my best, I couldn’t be half the troll you are. BTW, I’ve called cite for the troll thing 4 times now. This will be 5. I’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/435 "2018-06-06T04:47:56Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Really? I don’t see any leaving. I see threats to leave if they can’t dictate terms to the whole board, I say go. I’d say that to any organized group that tried to employ tactics similar to the Heckler’s Veto in order to control what others post. > > This thread belies the notion that not wanting to be surprised by misleading titles and gratuitous porn was the issue. The thread location itself is bait. Why do you think this was posted here and not ATMB? The pit is a better target to stir up drama. Oh for fuck’s sake. This will be my last response to you in this thread or any other. You do not argue in good faith. First: “I don’t see any leaving?” How…How would you see them leaving? This isn’t a party where people can be seen leaving the door. However many women have mentioned, via PM or on spin off boards, that they are uncomfortable with the gross “hurr hurr tits hurr hurr” discourse that happens here. More importantly, please stop framing this as a free speech issue. Even in a broad sense, beyond a narrow first amendment “No one can arrest you for saying X” frame. This is people asking other posters not to be gross and rude. It has nothing to do with free speech. You (I hope) engage in this sort of self control all the time. If you are having dinner with your parent’s friends, if you are meeting people in a professional context you don’t burst out dirty jokes and comments on Scarlet Johannson’s tits, right? All people are asking is to tone down the talk about hot toddlers and the betty and veronica polls a bit. And they are asking Skald not to include so much rape and humiliation porn in his poorly written stories. And “Heckler’s veto?” Are you serious? If you went into a restaurant where they were playing awful music I think you would leave. I don’t think you would stay on the grounds that if you left you would be employing a heckler’s veto on the free speech of the restaurant owner if you left. But you be you. I just hope the PTB are paying attention to the concerns of the few remaining women who post here. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/436 "2018-06-06T04:59:51Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Oh for fuck’s sake. This will be my last response to you in this thread or any other. You do not argue in good faith. > > First: “I don’t see any leaving?” How…How would you see them leaving? This isn’t a party where people can be seen leaving the door. However many women have mentioned, via PM or on spin off boards, that they are uncomfortable with the gross “hurr hurr tits hurr hurr” discourse that happens here. > > More importantly, please stop framing this as a free speech issue. Even in a broad sense, beyond a narrow first amendment “No one can arrest you for saying X” frame. This is people asking other posters not to be gross and rude. It has nothing to do with free speech. You (I hope) engage in this sort of self control all the time. If you are having dinner with your parent’s friends, if you are meeting people in a professional context you don’t burst out dirty jokes and comments on Scarlet Johannson’s tits, right? All people are asking is to tone down the talk about hot toddlers and the betty and veronica polls a bit. And they are asking Skald not to include so much rape and humiliation porn in his poorly written stories. > > And “Heckler’s veto?” Are you serious? If you went into a restaurant where they were playing awful music I think you would leave. I don’t think you would stay on the grounds that if you left you would be employing a heckler’s veto on the free speech of the restaurant owner if you left. > > But you be you. I just hope the PTB are paying attention to the concerns of the few remaining women who post here. It’s the Pit. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/437 "2018-06-06T05:05:26Z")
Now that I’m in this year’s thread… Top posters to this thread: octopus 48 Morgenstern 32 MrDibble 27 TriPolar 24 Chimera 15 ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/438 "2018-06-06T05:05:51Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Oh for fuck’s sake. This will be my last response to you in this thread or any other. You do not argue in good faith. > > First: “I don’t see any leaving?” How…How would you see them leaving? This isn’t a party where people can be seen leaving the door. However many women have mentioned, via PM or on spin off boards, that they are uncomfortable with the gross “hurr hurr tits hurr hurr” discourse that happens here. > > More importantly, please stop framing this as a free speech issue. Even in a broad sense, beyond a narrow first amendment “No one can arrest you for saying X” frame. This is people asking other posters not to be gross and rude. It has nothing to do with free speech. You (I hope) engage in this sort of self control all the time. If you are having dinner with your parent’s friends, if you are meeting people in a professional context you don’t burst out dirty jokes and comments on Scarlet Johannson’s tits, right? All people are asking is to tone down the talk about hot toddlers and the betty and veronica polls a bit. And they are asking Skald not to include so much rape and humiliation porn in his poorly written stories. > > And “Heckler’s veto?” Are you serious? If you went into a restaurant where they were playing awful music I think you would leave. I don’t think you would stay on the grounds that if you left you would be employing a heckler’s veto on the free speech of the restaurant owner if you left. > > But you be you. I just hope the PTB are paying attention to the concerns of the few remaining women who post here. I guess if someone doesn’t rage flounce, it doesn’t count as leaving? Drifting away, or just simply leaving- doesn’t count. The ones (like me) that honestly do love the community and want to be comfortable here- well, we are just poseurs, I guess? We haven’t left yet, so our discomfort isn’t real. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/439 "2018-06-06T05:07:34Z")
I want to be first. Who do I need to see? ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/440 "2018-06-06T05:16:04Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > horseshit. it’s like a middle school cafeteria. group of kids want to sit at a table and talk to each other, then a few of “those” boys has to walk by, crop dust the table, and make a bunch of stupid noises. So they get up and go to another table, then the same boys walk by _that_ table and crop dust it. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s a sad truth that there are entirely too many guys who can’t let people (especially women) have something nice; they have to barge in and (figuratively) piss all over it and drive them away. … Really? Horseshit. Your analogy would describe male posters coming into a thread that was possibly “female-centric” and threadshitting it with misogynistic or minimally juvenile comments. _That sort of behavior should be modded_, no doubt, and the fact that such was ever or is ever tolerated is for shame. But what the op was describing is a table or two in a large cafeteria (and that is the relative number at every time I’ve looked … or less) in which a few boys are asking each other who they’d like better, Betty or Veronica, and why … and interested in whatever thoughts any girls who feel like joining the conversation have to share … with lots of open seats at many tables, having lots of conversations. Many of which I personally avoid. A few I sit and just listen to. And some that I try to participate in. It’s a big cafeteria. Lots of tables and lots of food stations. But a vegan has little grounds for complaining that others at a different table are eating hot dogs and that such makes them feel unwelcome in the room. The fact that there is often a table or two in the cafeteria with those conversations ongoing seems to be objectionable to some. The perceived to be obnoxious boys seem to be being told to mind their manners as there are ladies in the room. That to me seems … archaic. Of the posters who post enough that I am fairly sure of their gender I am seeing no shortage of gender diversity here, nor of material that is of interest to all. I’d think there’d be more of an argument to be sensitive to the feelings of Trump supporters, as we have few of them here and we bash _them_ pretty mercilessly. As a board culture we are pretty unwelcoming to evangelicals too. Should we think more before we post things that may be read as unwelcoming to them, for the sake of diversity? Now I get what **Nava** is saying … but that is true for all sorts of threads in which a usual suspect comes in. Are you seeing sexist threadshitting more commonly than other sorts the usual suspect crapping up threads? I am sure that I am less sensitive to that than a woman is so it may be more than I perceive … but the op was about threads titled as a “male-centric” subject, not that. The op’s examples were not “hurr hurr tits hurr hurr” but things like a thread discussing an article parodying how male writers (e.g. Roth and Bellows) have their male characters describe female characters. As to males should not post in “female-centric” threads … I am an ignorant man and participate here pertly to reduce my ignorance. I shouldn’t ask about things I do not know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=23)