# Male Centrism at the Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437 "2018-06-05T00:04:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/441 "2018-06-06T05:28:14Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Now that I’m in this year’s thread… > > Top posters to this thread: > > octopus 48 > Morgenstern 32 > MrDibble 27 > TriPolar 24 > Chimera 15 …this really says it all, doesn’t it? A pit thread pitting how the dope is male-centric is overwhelmingly dominated with a bunch of men fighting with each other. I’d like to say that this is surprising, but it really really isn’t. I’m a guy. And I didn’t intend to post in this thread for precisely this reason. But here I am anyway. 🙂 Kia kaha to Sunny and everyone else who has to deal with this shit. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/442 "2018-06-06T05:33:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > But now WE’RE the bad guys because we ask people not to act like dicks towards women? Maybe that’s where his brain is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/443 "2018-06-06T05:34:41Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > […]I’m a guy. And I didn’t intend to post in this thread for precisely this reason. But here I am anyway. 🙂 Kia kaha to Sunny and everyone else who has to deal with this shit. Men are definitely welcome and I’m glad you posted. 🙂 I also learned a new phrase - kia kaha, very cool! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/444 "2018-06-06T05:46:02Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > As to males should not post in “female-centric” threads … I am an ignorant man and participate here pertly to reduce my ignorance. I shouldn’t ask about things I do not know? Ask is fine; give comments from a woman in your life is also fine. But too often the posts veer into mansplaining or dismiss what the actual women are saying. “I don’t understand why that is offensive” can be misconstrued, its meaning depends on tone; I tend to err on the side of positive interpretation, but I’m not everybody (happy not to be, too). “Whine whine whine”… nope, no way to misunderstand that. We’re in an international board where some people are offended by the presence of people who are from or live outside the US. When those people come up with their crap I can roll my eyes, but I can do that in part because when I encounter them in my daily life, they’re most likely not pointing at me; in part, because others in these same boards have expressed appreciation for the point of view of us foreigners and expats. People who dismiss women’s responses to threads asking the opinion of women? Those are everywhere. It’s a much more dangerous and damaging version of the idiot who thinks it’s funny to butcher a song named like you: it’s always going to hit a sore point, because that point is constantly being hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and hit and… and sometimes we’d like to get a break. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/445 "2018-06-06T06:09:02Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Worse, he has detracted greatly from the discussion. Sorry, a lot of that’s on me. I won’t continue. Back to the OP - I’ll try to do a lot more reporting too. And to actively stop participating in the kind of threads that spawned the OP, if I recognize them in time, and to definitely leave them if anyone raises these concerns after they’ve started. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/446 "2018-06-06T06:13:21Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I remember when the \*\*Duchess of MPSIMS \*\*slammed 2 threads shut in 5 minutes in MPSIMS. Those 2 threads would have made Sunny’s list of they had breathed life. That was before all this surfaced. Things will improve. So is there something about the culture of particular forums like Cafe and GD and IMHO that makes them more hostile than MPSIMS? Or is it about the moderation, and an ATMB discussion about that is called for? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/447 "2018-06-06T07:07:42Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > It’s the Pit. Maybe you can explain to your “children” how much you enjoy shitting on women and how much you hate their own “mother” and how much you enjoy giving BLUMPKINS. You see children of “octopus” a “blumpkin” is when your “father” is giving a blowjob to another man while that man is taking a poopy. [Fuck Fuck Fuck Mother Mother Fuck Mother Mother Fuck Fuck Motherfuck Motherfuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6mll8rgDSI) [Did you know that Jesus was a Jew? I mean why not me? I like seals and shit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqp2NbL7s88) ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/448 "2018-06-06T07:34:59Z")
If most of the people on the board are male then of course the board will be male-centric. How could it be otherwise? If men tend to post more than woman then again the masculine point of view will predominate. Of course, male Dopers could strive to think like women or take views they assume a woman would take but that won’t work either. Despite their best efforts men cannot think like women simply because they aren’t woman. Unless the board is going to somehow enforce balance in numbers or restrict men from posting more than women then it is what it is. The SDMB will slant male. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/449 "2018-06-06T07:53:34Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Maybe you can explain to your “children” how much you enjoy shitting on women and how much you hate their own “mother” and how much you enjoy giving BLUMPKINS. > > You see children of “octopus” a “blumpkin” is when your “father” is giving a blowjob to another man while that man is taking a poopy. > > [Fuck Fuck Fuck > Mother Mother Fuck > Mother Mother Fuck Fuck > Motherfuck Motherfuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6mll8rgDSI) > > [Did you know that Jesus was a Jew? I mean why not me? I like seals and shit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqp2NbL7s88) Pure uncreative vulgarity? What a hack. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/450 "2018-06-06T08:04:39Z")
Thi > [@aldiboronti](#): > > If most of the people on the board are male then of course the board will be male-centric. How could it be otherwise? If men tend to post more than woman then again the masculine point of view will predominate. Of course, male Dopers could strive to think like women or take views they assume a woman would take but that won’t work either. Despite their best efforts men cannot think like women simply because they aren’t woman. > > Unless the board is going to somehow enforce balance in numbers or restrict men from posting more than women then it is what it is. The SDMB will slant male. s shouldn’t need stating but apparently it does: “Show us your boobs” is not “_the_ masculine point of view” and being a man and not being down with that as the sole kind of masculinity on this board doesn’t mean I or others “think like women” (NTTAWWT) TL;DR:\*\* “Toxic” is not the only flavour masculinity comes in.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/451 "2018-06-06T08:05:15Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > I never said I didn’t find them off putting. I said the existence of content I don’t choose to participate in or enjoy reading should not cease because of my preferences. Actually, the OP did not say “stop posting rate-a-woman” threads. The OP pointed out that they are somewhere between not welcoming to offensive for women and that continuing to post them will have consequences for this forum. Sure, free speech/First amendment, but speech has consequences. Sunny Daze pointed out potential consequences. > [@](#): > > Why should your opinion have more weight than those who do enjoy that content? Why should your opinion have more weight than, say, pedophiles that enjoy discussing raping babies? If you don’t like it don’t read it, right? They’re just talking, they’re not _hurting_ anyone … (probably)… (we hope)… Go read something else, right? Then they show up in a thread about baking cookies or mowing the lawn and somehow manage to drag their favorite obsession into an unrelated discussion. > [@](#): > > Again, it’s not like space is scarce on the internet. A thread you choose not to participate in hinders your ability to participate in other threads exactly how It’s not _just one_ - it’s multiple threads, and multiple posts in other threads. That’s what you fail to grasp, what you fail to see - it’s not one or two things here and there. It permeates the board culture. It makes _many_ threads distasteful. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/452 "2018-06-06T08:14:04Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Now that I’m in this year’s thread… > > Top posters to this thread: > > octopus 48 > Morgenstern 32 > MrDibble 27 > TriPolar 24 > Chimera 15 And all of them are trying to shout-down the concerns brought up by women… which is telling. Oh, the horrors! They might have to consider that they have possibly maybe offended someone else who is asking them to have some empathy for - HORRORS! HORRORS CENSORSHIP I HAVE A RIGHT TO TAWK ABOUT MA DICK AND WHAT MAKES MA DICK HAPPY HOW DARE YOU WOMAN HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT TO SAY YOU BITCHES!!! Which is only a slightly exaggerated description of how it comes across. Especially **octopus**. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/453 "2018-06-06T08:22:00Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > As to males should not post in “female-centric” threads … I am an ignorant man and participate here pertly to reduce my ignorance. I shouldn’t ask about things I do not know? If you actually read the thread and don’t just come in for a drive-by “joke” posting… if you conduct yourself in a polite and respectful manner… if your question or contribution is actually pertinent to the thread… Yes. Post in a female-centric thread. But in my experience those posts are rare compared to the threadshitting posts. Here’s an example of appropriate contributions: Let’s say there a thread about menstruation (there actually have been a couple over the decades). If, say, Qadgop dropped in to add some medical facts that would be appropriate. If, say, a man dropped by and said “my new girlfriend has terrible menstrual problems and she’s really miserable… is there anything I can do to help her through this and make her feel better” that would be appropriate (I actually do remember this happening in a menstruation thread, but I don’t remember if that was here or another forum). ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/454 "2018-06-06T08:31:30Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Actually, the OP did not say “stop posting rate-a-woman” threads. The OP pointed out that they are somewhere between not welcoming to offensive for women and that continuing to post them will have consequences for this forum. > > Sure, free speech/First amendment, but speech has consequences. Sunny Daze pointed out potential consequences. Yeah. I know. > [@](#): > > Why should your opinion have more weight than, say, pedophiles that enjoy discussing raping babies? If you don’t like it don’t read it, right? They’re just talking, they’re not _hurting_ anyone … (probably)… (we hope)… Go read something else, right? Then they show up in a thread about baking cookies or mowing the lawn and somehow manage to drag their favorite obsession into an unrelated discussion. Now this is a good point and is making me think. I have already conceded that if the content got to a certain level of gratuitous sex or violence or vulgarity as in the case of Drunky I’d protest it myself. But it’s admittedly not black or white. And I think that where on the spectrum someone lies with regards to content can be different than someone else but each person could have legitimate reasons for their position. My level of sensitivity to boorish threads is not that far from the OP it’s just that my solution, i.e. tolerance, is attacked, or rather I’m attacked. Again, to be clear, advocating child rape or any form of rape I’m against. Perverts on this board advocate prison rape. I’ve stated opposition to that. I think it’s creepy asking for personal information especially pictures. Especially on a board like this where many of the posters are demonstrably unhinged. It wouldn’t be safe. Perving on women’s breasts is a huge red flag. I mean if you get to know someone in private chat maybe then. But in a public forum? That’s immature. I get all that. I don’t participate in those threads. But outside of advocating for a new rule regulating content what do you expect a satisfactory solution to be? > [@](#): > > It’s not _just one_ - it’s multiple threads, and multiple posts in other threads. That’s what you fail to grasp, what you fail to see - it’s not one or two things here and there. It permeates the board culture. It makes _many_ threads distasteful. If misogyny or bigotry permeates the board culture that is a bad thing. I don’t read every thread so perhaps I don’t see it as you do. I do know that I get frustrated with the childish and dishonest conflation of the support of tolerance for free speech in the abstract with a support for every potential and specific offensive permutation of expression. That’s not directed at you that’s just an aside. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/455 "2018-06-06T08:37:34Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > And all of them are trying to shout-down the concerns brought up by women… which is telling. Oh, the horrors! They might have to consider that they have possibly maybe offended someone else who is asking them to have some empathy for - HORRORS! HORRORS CENSORSHIP I HAVE A RIGHT TO TAWK ABOUT MA DICK AND WHAT MAKES MA DICK HAPPY HOW DARE YOU WOMAN HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT TO SAY YOU BITCHES!!! > > Which is only a slightly exaggerated description of how it comes across. Especially **octopus**. Um none of what you wrote is true. Morgenstern and Mr. Dribble are clearly in complete support. Chimera, TriPolar, and octopus are empathetic but feel that the magnitude of the problem is overstated. And no one in that group is talking about what their dick thinks or is calling women bitches. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/456 "2018-06-06T08:45:59Z")
That _whooshing_ sound you hear going over your head is you entirely missing the point. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/457 "2018-06-06T10:08:21Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I’m probably going to bungle this, but bear with me. It’s hard to explain how white-male centric this board is because it’s not a matter of individual threads. It’s about tone and expected audience. When people --including me–write on this board, our hypothetical audience is white and male and middle class. We explain things middle class white males would need explained, and don’t bother to explain things white middle class males would already know. If we want our posts to be read and responded to, we try to be valid and interesting to middle class white males. This literally pervades every post and it’s hard to descibe, in a way that a color blind person can’t explain how everything in the world is aimed at normal color vision, or a lefty explain how pervasively right-handed everything in society is. Middle class white male is normal, everything else is exotic and has to explain itself, justify itself. > > This isn’t just a SDMB problem, obviously: it’s everywhere, and I don’t know how to fix it. But it’s part of the reason why what might appear to be a slight drift toward an even more male-centric PoV causes such a strong reaction–it’s already a pain in the ass to deal with this constant slant, this constant need to write for a male reader, to understand as you read that what you are reading was intended for a male reader. It’s not a huge deal in most threads, but it’s a real deal in almost every thread. I think that’s why the bra threads were such a big deal: it added insult to injury that even in a bra-fitting thread, the schema had to be male. > > I think the best thing that can happen from this is just heightened awareness of how pervasive this is. Haven’t finished reading the thread yet, but just wanted to post how much I agree with this. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t post more. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/458 "2018-06-06T10:23:27Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > And all of them are trying to shout-down the concerns brought up by women… which is telling. What? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/459 "2018-06-06T10:30:43Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > And all of them are trying to shout-down the concerns brought up by women… which is telling. Am I? Up until now I’ve respected you. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2018, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/460 "2018-06-06T10:45:58Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > That _whooshing_ sound you hear going over your head is you entirely missing the point. No. I just read his posts (even though I have **octopus** on ignore), and he’s getting it fine. He even was conceding an issue in his penultimate post, and was actually somewhat understanding what you were saying, and maybe even coming around to your way of thinking, because of something you brought up. That actually shocked me. I rarely see anyone pull that off! At the same time, he is entirely right about your claim about the top posters in this thread. The claims you made were entirely false. In your rage you actually attacked two people on your side! And, as far as I can tell, his assessment of the other two posters besides himself is at least arguably accurate. When you’re even accusing the posters who are on your side of being horrible sexist assholes, only following their dicks, then it’s probably time to take a step back. (Huh. Never defended 5 people at once before, I don’t think. But I do always say I’ll do that when I see false accusations.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=24)