# Male Centrism at the Dope **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437 "2018-06-05T00:04:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 35
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/681 "2018-06-07T17:06:58Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > … Feeling lazy this morning (after sleeping for 11 hours and being exhausted in my dreams) so I just clipped this one to respond to you. I remember when a couple of people pointed at you as being a potential troll in that thread, based on a post I cannot find right now. I responded that I didn’t think you were and so did several others. We just get so many trolls, racists and jackwads coming through here, most of whom don’t last, that some people are on the lookout for anything that might indicate that a new posted might be trouble in the future. Sometimes people jump the gun, but I guess there is also an expectation that new people aren’t going to go immediately read the Omnibus Troll thread either, so they feel more free to point people out. Glad you stayed. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/682 "2018-06-07T17:13:29Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Do you believe your initial reception here had anything to do with you being a woman? For myself, I don’t. > > On the other hand, I think you’re right that it’s too easy for new posters here to get off on the wrong foot and be treated badly as a result. That cultural behavior seems to me to both contribute to and stem directly from that troll thread. But that’s surely a topic for a different pit discussion. I doubt they knew I was female at first. I tend to be talkative about my kids, I suppose it was figured out pretty quickly. I do not believe that being female, male or other gender would have made a difference, at first. It soon came clear, though, that there is a difference in how you are treated. I found it dismaying but I saw good, strong women here, women with brains and voices that carry. I don’t feel so all alone, now. ETA, thx chimera. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/683 "2018-06-07T17:35:24Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > How about [Opal](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=684883) , may she rest in peace, who was probably the most iconic poster on this board? She had several public meltdowns fueled by her various disorders and meds being out of whack, and people always defended her and fed her her #1 drug of choice, which was attention. Her threads had more white knights than could probably be counted. She was also pretty,\*\* thin\*\*, a former stripper, and liked to show herself on webcam, and talked pretty openly about sex. Starting to see more where her rabid fans came from… Bolding mine. She wasn’t thin during her early years on this board; that only happened after weight loss surgery. Can’t speak for anyone else, but my (mixed) opinion of her was pretty well formed before she became thin. I liked her as a person, and had a fair amount of respect for her for the way she ran the Fathom board. But she could also be a real pain in the neck, and got well known here for her tendency to start threads asking for advice or suggestions about one thing or another, or solutions to some problem she had, and finding reasons why every last suggestion or proposed solution wouldn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/684 "2018-06-07T17:39:29Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I doubt they knew I was female at first. I tend to be talkative about my kids, I suppose it was figured out pretty quickly. I do not believe that being female, male or other gender would have made a difference, at first. It soon came clear, though, that there is a difference in how you are treated. I found it dismaying but I saw good, strong women here, women with brains and voices that carry. I don’t feel so all alone, now. > ETA, thx chimera. I think Beck gave a hint as to gender. And I think if anyone was commenting on you it was due to how prolific you post more than anything. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/685 "2018-06-07T17:58:58Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Asking which one is better at math isn’t. Asking which one has a hotter body is. LOL. This is so far removed from reality, I don’t know how to respond. Good grief! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/686 "2018-06-07T18:00:23Z")
Well, like I said I am a noisy little target. ETA, one of my grandSONs is named after me. His name is Becker. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/687 "2018-06-07T18:06:10Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Nothing wrong with saying Ginger is hotter. It’s very close though. I see why that could get heated. Mrs. Howell gets no love. I can still see their girl band. The Bumblebees or something. Poor Mrs. Howell. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/688 "2018-06-07T18:06:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I doubt they knew I was female at first. I tend to be talkative about my kids, I suppose it was figured out pretty quickly. I do not believe that being female, male or other gender would have made a difference, at first. It soon came clear, though, that there is a difference in how you are treated. I found it dismaying but I saw good, strong women here, women with brains and voices that carry. I don’t feel so all alone, now. > ETA, thx chimera. **Beck** , you weren’t treated badly because you were a woman. It was because you were annoying. Granted that some people came down too hard on you, and we don’t make it easy on newbies, but it was more about the annoyance than your gender. Making how you were perceived here about being female isn’t taking responsibility for your own behavior and is sort of pissing me off, but in general, you’ve dialed it back. I’m glad about that and glad you’ve stuck it out. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/689 "2018-06-07T18:15:37Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Well, like I said I am a noisy little target. > > ETA, one of my grandSONs is named after me. His name is Becker. That’s cool and it’s a reminder that perhaps assuming isn’t good policy. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Mrs. Howell gets no love. I can still see their girl band. The Bumblebees or something. Poor Mrs. Howell. Mrs. Howell does need some love. It’s like asking Janet vs Chrissy and leaving out Mrs. Roper. That’s ageist and unacceptable. Who knew being agreeable could be so easy? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/690 "2018-06-07T18:16:22Z")
You know, I’ve been here a lot of years, and I know the genders of maybe a dozen posters, just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/691 "2018-06-07T18:23:36Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Mrs. Howell gets no love. I can still see their girl band. The Bumblebees or something. Poor Mrs. Howell. If we were talking about who would be a better conversationalist to be stuck on an island for multiple years with, I’d bet it would be her. You’d know everything about Ginger inside a month. Maryanne would be easy to talk to and a good friend to have, but there likely wouldn’t be a great knowledge base there. Eunice “Lovey” Howell would be skilled at socializing and likely have a base in High Society, Philanthropy, Art and so forth. But that wasn’t going to show on an island where her husband was likely the only one to talk to about such things. Certainly none of the other men would be interested or knowledgeable, nor would Maryanne. Ginger might only be interested in some of it to try to gain access to higher levels of society when they got rescued. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/692 "2018-06-07T18:26:39Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > You know, I’ve been here a lot of years, and I know the genders of maybe a dozen posters, just sayin’. The assumption on the rest of them is? If you had to guess. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/693 "2018-06-07T18:51:38Z")
I tend to assume that all the assholes are male, myself. I realize that’s sexist; I’m just not certain _which way_ it’s sexist. Am I hating on men, or am I limiting women’s options in society by assuming they can’t/don’t/won’t pursue the occupation of internet troll? Presuming that the poster in question isn’t an asshole, I generally just assume they’re a person (presumably human) and stop there. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/694 "2018-06-07T19:08:48Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I can verify the reasons people (women) run from this board, it’s because of the caustic reception you receive at your first post. I was routinely slammed, cursed, belittled, questioned and called names. It’s a gauntlet that some find off-putting. I am not whining, I get the hazing is a right of passage. But it is really unwelcoming to some people. They come in here for whatever reason, asking questions and possibly looking for help and the first thing they get is nit-picking about punctuation or typos. The next thing they are in troll thread being snarked about. If you don’t have a friend or sponser it can be scary as hell. I cringe everytime I see a new poster with a innocent question. I am not savvy enough to distinguish trolls or spammers from just newbies. So I, now, wait til I see what more experienced posters say. > So there it is YMMV. Word. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/695 "2018-06-07T19:34:19Z")
Throwing in a kudo for Doper Guys: I’ve hobbies and interests that are traditionally masculine interests; I’ve become intensely interested in car repair and tracking over the last few years and the “car guys” here have been amazingly helpful, encouraging, and kind.\* The track events I go to are absolutely dominated by men and I’m largely ignored by and invisible to the Clan of the Track Fratboys – I’m a novice, not accompanied by a husband, and a middle-aged lesbian. Poof! Insta-freezeout! So I save my questions/concerns/observations about the events I attend for the Dope; frankly, I would have probably given up on this interest if not for the knowledge and generosity of the car guys here. \*There are, of course, Doper women interested in cars, but I don’t think I’ve encountered female track enthusiasts here(?) ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/696 "2018-06-07T19:40:45Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > The assumption on the rest of them is? If you had to guess. Irrelevant in most of the threads I participate in, sometimes manifest in a specific post, but then rarely retained by me. My point is that, in my experience, a not insignificant percentage of times someone assumes something happened because they’re gaystraighttransblackwhiteasianfatpoormuslimchristianmaleorfemale, they’re wrong. ‘I perceived so it must be true’ is bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/697 "2018-06-07T19:47:00Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > **Beck** , you weren’t treated badly because you were a woman. It was because you were annoying. Granted that some people came down too hard on you, and we don’t make it easy on newbies, but it was more about the annoyance than your gender. Making how you were perceived here about being female isn’t taking responsibility for your own behavior and is sort of pissing me off, but in general, you’ve dialed it back. I’m glad about that and glad you’ve stuck it out. I don’t like to annoy anyone. I know I am mouthy and many other things. I don’t blame anyone for what I am. I take full responsibility for my actions and my gender. I cannot separate the 2. I am pretty sure I got the idea I was posting a bunch. It was told to me many times. You probably won’t believe this but I am a very quiet person IRL. I go whole days saying nothing to anyone. If I speak in the house the pets jump because it’s usually so quiet around here. I am trying to be more thoughtful with my posts. I am reading more carefully. But, I still like that cheese.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/698 "2018-06-07T19:50:01Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > My point is that, in my experience, a not insignificant percentage of times someone assumes something happened because they’re gaystraighttransblackwhiteasianfatpoormuslimchristianmaleorfemale, they’re wrong. Do you think there’s a not insignificant percentage of times they’re right? If so, should anything be done? And again, it’s not so much specific attacks on people that are the issue. Those can be (and usually are) modded. It’s the general pervasiveness of it, the assumption that the audience is male. The thread linked above is a great example: someone had a question about the feasibility of smoking from one’s vagina. This could easily be a female-friendly thread, but the OP also felt the need to tell us how much he liked the soft-core movie he saw this in and how nicely-shaped the actress’s breasts were. Who was he writing for? Could the thread have attracted more on-topic responses if written for a broader audience? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/699 "2018-06-07T19:50:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I don’t like to annoy anyone. I know I am mouthy and many other things. I don’t blame anyone for what I am. I take full responsibility for my actions and my gender. I cannot separate the 2. I am pretty sure I got the idea I was posting a bunch. It was told to me many times. You probably won’t believe this but I am a very quiet person IRL. I go whole days saying nothing to anyone. If I speak in the house the pets jump because it’s usually so quiet around here. I am trying to be more thoughtful with my posts. I am reading more carefully. But, I still like that cheese.🙂 Cheese is delicious! ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437/700 "2018-06-07T20:04:53Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > Do you think there’s a not insignificant percentage of times they’re right? If so, should anything be done? > > And again, it’s not so much specific attacks on people that are the issue. Those can be (and usually are) modded. It’s the general pervasiveness of it, the assumption that the audience is male. The thread linked above is a great example: someone had a question about the feasibility of smoking from one’s vagina. This could easily be a female-friendly thread, but the OP also felt the need to tell us how much he liked the soft-core movie he saw this in and how nicely-shaped the actress’s breasts were. Who was he writing for? Could the thread have attracted more on-topic responses if written for a broader audience? Of course I do, but I don’t see what that has to do with your 2nd paragraph. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=34) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-centrism-at-the-dope/815437.md?page=36)