# Male Dopers: How do YOU masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031 "2009-02-09T08:29:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/41 "2009-02-09T23:24:03Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > It’s actually quite annoying that most male masturbation toys are vagina shaped - us gay guys aren’t really into that. Really? I’ve browsed a few sex toy websites (pretty stimulating reading, at that) and there seemed to be a surfeit of opening made to look like mouths and anuses. I agree that most (more than half) were vag-oriented. That’s okay by me. I’m straight. For those too shy to browse an adult toy store, you can find solace in the kids’ toy store. Look for _Sock’Em Boppers._ “More fun than a pillow fight,” the package promises. The idea is a pair of inflatable boxing glove thingies. Each one is about the size of a basketball, with a closed sleeve in one size for the kid’s hand to go into. When it’s firmly inflated, that sleeve gets really snug. Bumping against it increases the air pressure’s grip on you. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/42 "2009-02-09T23:49:13Z")
A lot of times I’ll use my left hand with the palm facing down, which feels interesting since my penis curves a bit to the left. I’ve never used a tissue, I catch my ejaculate in my foreskin and walk over to the toiler. A lot of times I’ll peel back my foreskin and use 2-3 index fingers and my thumb on ONLY the shaft, this can take a good long time to get an orgasm (25 min to a couple hours depending on mood, my ability to be multi-orgasmic that day, and various other factors), but it’s nice since you can get a good 30-45 second orgasm before you actually ejaculate, and that’s if you DON’T contact your muscles down there to stave off ejaculation and orgasm again, each of which last just about as long. If it’s night time and I’m in bed I hump some slightly balled up sheets or just the covered mattress, oftentimes with pants on so I can just change my underwear and sleep instead of having a wet spot that needs to dry beforehand (this is actually how I first “discovered” it too and I didn’t know you could even USE your hand until several years after). ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/43 "2009-02-10T00:00:55Z")
Straight guy. I am right handed, but have a preference for using my left hand. Using the right hand provides different stimulation, the one thing I am ambidextrous in ;). Most of the time the hand I start with is the hand I have to finish with, but I am more likely to start with right and switch to left than to start with left and switch to right. And my nipples do nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/44 "2009-02-10T00:14:11Z")
Usually just grip in one hand, with an up and down motion. 23 bisexual. Nipples don’t really do anything for me. ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/45 "2009-02-10T01:23:04Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > For those too shy to browse an adult toy store, you can find solace in the kids’ toy store. Look for _Sock’Em Boppers._ “More fun than a pillow fight,” the package promises. The idea is a pair of inflatable boxing glove thingies. Each one is about the size of a basketball, with a closed sleeve in one size for the kid’s hand to go into. When it’s firmly inflated, that sleeve gets really snug. Bumping against it increases the air pressure’s grip on you. This is the sort of priceless pre-Valentine’s information that I’m here for. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/46 "2009-02-10T01:57:50Z")
Count me in and as a guy who loves to have his lady drag hers (nipples) across his… stop… and lower her mouth to the very tip-top of my nipple and start to tease with her teeth. It’s even better if the air’s on high, and all those little erogenous zones are at “attention”. Just very short "nips’ at first, then little “darts”, and then the full aureola and total suckage while fondling me beneath the nether regions of that little place between the anus and where the nut sack is, just little strokes back and forth, back and forth while whispering, “Don’t put it in me yet! Let’s see how tall it can get, baby…” By that time everything should be nice and wet and slick and everything that **should** be erect **is** erect, and… Your turn! And?.. Q PS: Hey! **Idle Thoughts** started it! I’m just answering stuff! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/47 "2009-02-10T02:49:17Z")
> [@gytalf2000](#): > > I never liked using my hands; tried it a few times, it just didn’t do anything for me! > > I have always just rubbed against my mattress, instead. > > How unusual is that? I’m not a guy, but I’ve had male friends who admitted to doing this. Female, too, for that matter. > [@HolyFreakingMoly](#): > > That brings up a question for me too… Too shy to start a whole thread about it… How many straight guys (but hey, gay guys, feel free to chime in too) require nipple stimulation? My dude HAS to have it. My experience is the exact opposite–it seems like guys are kind of bothered by it. Either the guys I’ve been with haven’t liked it, or it hasn’t made enough of a difference for them to request it. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/48 "2009-02-10T03:35:12Z")
Well, what do you know? There’s a benefit to being uncircumcised that **Jack Dean Tyler** didn’t even mention! I didn’t know you could use a foreskin as a…receptacle. Cool! > [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > It’s actually quite annoying that most male masturbation toys are vagina shaped - us gay guys aren’t really into that. Couldn’t you just close your eyes and think of England? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/49 "2009-02-10T03:54:06Z")
> [@jakesteele](#): > > I do it by telekinesis when I’m thinking naughty thoughts. That way I don’t get any on my hands. Best handle/thread match of the week (almost as good as [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10779189&postcount=60) in the ladies’ thread). Oh, and 50/50 split between the pillow method and the choking the chicken method, moderate speed (with lotion-never grokked how you could ever get off with no lubricant). Porn has always turned me off, tho a hot babe in a magazine if she fits my type can do it. Oh, now I remembered the name of the thread I wanted to start… ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/50 "2009-02-10T04:31:26Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Your post reminds me of that Neil Diamond album cover for (I think) “Hot August Night”, where he made that motion with his two hands and arms like he had a huge “woodie” goin’? [This one?](http://cover6.cduniverse.com/MuzeAudioArt/Large/47/96847.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/51 "2009-02-10T04:37:40Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Oh, and 50/50 split between the pillow method and the choking the chicken method, moderate speed (with lotion-never grokked how you could ever get off with no lubricant). I don’t use lubricant. I really don’t like the feeling with lube when I masturbate. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/52 "2009-02-10T05:40:13Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > [This one?](http://cover6.cduniverse.com/MuzeAudioArt/Large/47/96847.jpg) Yeah, but let’s ol’ **Oak** wonder about that, shall we? 😉 Dude likes to brag about his prowess, so how 'bout we whittle that ol \*\*Oak \*\* down to something a bit more … uh… shall we say…_manageable?_ :’ The above is supposed to be a dick with 2 balls. I seem to have lost the ability to create links to images or images here, dammit. Sorry! 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![gladtobeblazed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@gladtobeblazed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gladtobeblazed)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/53 "2009-02-10T13:28:13Z")
I use my right hand and I use spit for lube. I also like to smoke cigarettes while I do it, I find that the nicotine enhances the pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/54 "2009-02-10T19:13:01Z")
Dude! That’s hard-core, right there! 🆒 I guess you don’t open your mouth to groan at orgasm, then, huh? Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031/55 "2009-02-10T20:37:11Z")
There’s a little comical “nod” to your thread on my blog! Thanks Quasi [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-dopers-how-do-you-masturbate/485031.md?page=2)