# Male expressions of affection make me melt **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359 "2003-06-30T15:27:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/1 "2003-06-30T15:27:25Z")
Yeah so I was sitting here at my desk and this cute worker guy comes over to get some coffee (the coffeemaker is by my desk). I look at him and smile to acknowledge his presence and he winks at me. And I turn into a 11 year-old cheerleading jellyfish. And it made me realize just how insanely exciting those little straight-male-expressions-of-affection are. I mean, he was just being his masculine self and winked at me… How hot is that? It’s also like when a mechanic shakes your hand or someone calls you “man,” or “chief,” or something like that. They all do it in this naturally masculine way. Hmmmm this is hard to explain. Things like that always make me kind of sad that I’m not straight and have never partaken in locker room hijinks or campouts with football buddies, late-night car-fixing parties, etc. I’ll never be able to do a masculine I’m-winking-at-you-as-some-sort-of-acknowledgement-that-we’re-both-manly-men-and-I-respect-your-existence without feeling some sort of sexual tension. And that’s kind of sad to me. I think I want to marry a straight guy. Like Cary Grant or something. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/2 "2003-06-30T16:21:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Things like that always make me kind of sad that I’m not straight and have never partaken in locker room hijinks or campouts with football buddies, late-night car-fixing parties, etc. Or all-night D&D sessions, or screwing around with a camcorder late at night on a golf course because your pal collects the golfballs from the ponds, or annoying folks at a local restaurant because we’re beligerantly arguing about comic books! Well, that’s what _we_ did, because we never did any of the “guy” stuff you mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/3 "2003-06-30T16:28:30Z")
Um, are you sure the guy is straight? I don’t mean to belittle your gaydar, but winking at other men isn’t a common practice for us (not non-existant, but pretty rare). ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/4 "2003-06-30T16:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*Or all-night D&D sessions, or screwing around with a camcorder late at night on a golf course because your pal collects the golfballs from the ponds, or annoying folks at a local restaurant because we’re beligerantly arguing about comic books! > > Well, that’s what _we_ did, because we never did any of the “guy” stuff you mentioned. \*\* Hey, hey, there. This -IS- guy stuff! So long as on the golf course you did something monumentally stupid with a golf cart. I swear to ghod the doctors don’t take ‘run over by a golf cart’ as seriously as they should! 😃 Stand up for your geekness, dude! It’s not anything ‘less’ masculine! ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/5 "2003-06-30T16:50:05Z")
No, no, no. See, the point was **Qazzz** only made mention of those stereotypicsl “guy” things, and I was pointing out his mistake. See. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/6 "2003-06-30T17:24:04Z")
I spend three nights a week in karate/sword class in the company of five other guys who are monumantally heterosexual. It gets kind of wearing after a while. I need to hang around with more gay guys. Or lesbians. Anybody but those five guys, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Mith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mith)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/7 "2003-06-30T17:31:44Z")
Qazz, I’m a girl and I feel that way! don’t get me wrong, I’m included in lots of boyish activities with all my male friends… but I can’t help but wonder how my presence as a female might change their natural behavior. They all seem pretty natural around me… but I do wish I was a guy sometimes… just to hang with them without ANY sexual tension at all. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/8 "2003-06-30T17:48:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I think I want to marry a straight guy. Like Cary Grant or something. Nah. In my experience, they won’t suck your dick. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/9 "2003-06-30T17:58:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Nah. In my experience, they won’t suck your dick. \*\* Have you tried waiting till they’re drunk? lol. Just kidding! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/10 "2003-07-01T03:12:03Z")
Yeah, but there’s rumors that Cary swung both ways… Mmmm…Cary Grant… ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/11 "2003-07-01T04:05:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Nah. In my experience, they won’t suck your dick. \*\* [I’m sick and tired of all these homosexuals sucking my cock.](http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html) ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/12 "2003-07-01T12:04:04Z")
There’s nothing wrong with a gay fella winking - either at a gal or another fella. My best friend used to wink and treat me like a princess. Boy was he lovely… ::sigh:: I miss him. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/13 "2003-07-01T15:55:56Z")
It’s not a gay guy wink, but a straight guy wink **Qazzz** is talking about. I agree with **Mithh** though. Do you know this guy is straight, and does he know you are gay? It is very rare for a straight guy to wink at someone except as a signal of a shared joke or knowledge (a wink between conspiritors). Maybe… If he is Straight and knows you are gay, he sees that your smile is affectonate, and the wink is a sort of conspiritorial ‘thanks, if you were a woman I’d ask you out’. Maybe he isn’t 100% straight, and the wink is a thank you or even a come-on to you. Maybe he got something in his eye. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/14 "2003-07-01T15:58:19Z")
Ooppse I meant **Munch** not **Mithh** above. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-expressions-of-affection-make-me-melt/185359/15 "2003-07-01T16:08:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qazzz \* > **It’s also like when a mechanic shakes your hand or someone calls you “man,” or “chief,” or something like that. They all do it in this naturally masculine way. Hmmmm this is hard to explain.** I’m surprised you can’t still do it - i’ve got several good mates who are gay and I/we do the “dave, mate! its your round!” thing which my girlfriend always tuts at for being “sooooooo male” all the time.