# Male Sexual Rite of Passage **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240 "2005-10-07T20:45:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/21 "2005-10-08T09:41:21Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > This thread makes me wonder though: When did it suddenly become “cool” to admit you actually masterbate? December 12, 1992. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/22 "2005-10-08T12:15:58Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > That type of thing was downright common in my rural hiigh school. Guys would masturbate at the urinals, in the locker rooms before games, etc. I did it a few times. It wasn’t homoerotic at all at least for me. We would do things like race to see who could get off first. We also had highly publicised longest and shortest dick contests (seperate) that had a surprising number of students of both sexes and faculty present. There were some circle jerks to although it was strictly roll your own. My high school wasn’t very typical in most ways so YMMV. :eek: Uh, dude…that wasn’t high school…that was a porno you were in. Seriously, I’ve never engaged in any of the practices with other males mentioned in this thread. I’m very comfortable with myself, but I don’t see the need to jerk off as part of male bonding. I guess it’s where I live, but I haven’t ever really heard of guys my age doing anything like this. You never even saw a penis in the locker room in high school. Either way, I’d prefer to watch a football game or shoot pool (though those are vaguely homoerotic as well :P). Adam ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/23 "2005-10-08T15:44:12Z")
> [@](#): > > When did it suddenly become “cool” to admit you actually masterbate? I seem to remember the Beavis & Butthead era ushering in a new era of openness about jerking off. Which probably wasn’t too far from Dec. 12, 1992. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/24 "2005-10-08T16:09:08Z")
> [@The Composer](#): > > Guys, if a very good male friend of yours approached you and mentioned masturbating together, would you take him up on the offer? Why or why not? > > What if it were a group of friends- I guess something like a “compare yours to mine” session? Never happened to me, and I’d have laughed in somebody’s face for suggesting it. For the record, I went to a ordinary middle-class middle school and high school in western Washington state and was involved in no organized sports. (Just in case location and/or extracurricular activies are relevant.) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/25 "2005-10-08T16:38:37Z")
My wife tells me that the football team at her affluent Boston suburb high school had a well-known tradition of “pre-game activities”. Those consisted of circle jerks and other sexual rituals and she claims that it wasn’t always roll your own. I always thought that thing was pretty common. There is a more simple version of this. Your best friend walks in and pops in a porno at your place. Do you both of just sit there and watch it solemnly or whip it out and masturbate like a mother-fuck? I know what I would do and did. If you you think otherwise, then I think it is time to evaluate how close your friendship really is. People are acting like this is rare when experience tells me otherwise. Here is a related question: Have your friends felt comfortable having sex in front of you and vice-versa? ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/26 "2005-10-08T17:01:05Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > “Mushroom” is probably _not_ a euphemism you want to cultivate … unless you just support truth in advertising. 😉 You obvioulsy haven’t gone wild mushroom hunting. Boletus frequently are over 13-15 inches in diameter and weigh several pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/27 "2005-10-08T17:27:01Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > There is a more simple version of this. Your best friend walks in and pops in a porno at your place. Do you both of just sit there and watch it solemnly or whip it out and masturbate like a mother-fuck? I know what I would do and did. If you you think otherwise, then I think it is time to evaluate how close your friendship really is. > > People are acting like this is rare when experience tells me otherwise. My husband says basically ‘no never’ and that he’d never have considered it. We’ve also watched porno with other people but other than a little cuddling, never done more than given it the MST3K (obnoxious commentary) treatment. > [@](#): > > Here is a related question: Have your friends felt comfortable having sex in front of you and vice-versa? :eek: Uh, about a decade ago when both couples were really drunk, my husband and I had sex in a swimming pool when another couple (good friends) were going at it on the other side of the pool. **Way** over on the other side. And both couples were quiet and relatively subdued about it. These days? Hell no, I don’t **want** to see any of our friends naked, much less screwing, and I sure don’t want them to see us doing the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/28 "2005-10-08T17:34:57Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It got so out of control that one guy even screwed a dead deer (female thanks) to win a bet. That’s awful! But maybe he needed the doe. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/29 "2005-10-08T17:47:54Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > Uh, about a decade ago when both couples were really drunk, my husband and I had sex in a swimming pool when another couple (good friends) were going at it on the other side of the pool. **Way** over on the other side. And both couples were quiet and relatively subdued about it. These days? Hell no, I don’t **want** to see any of our friends naked, much less screwing, and I sure don’t want them to see us doing the same thing. First not that I am not promiscuous in the least. I think that some people just aren’t disclosing what happened when they were younger. My best friend growing up and his girlfriend (now wife) used to have sex in front of me all the time. The standard drill was for him to pull his Ford F-250 over to the side of the road and tell me to drive. Blowjobs and hillarious sex would insue but I just drove and tried to ignore them. Freshmen year of college, I lived in a typical freshmen door room about 10x12 square with beds about three feet apart. My girlfriend (now wife) and I had no qualms about having sex in front of my roommate and he didn’t either although I didn’t appreciate it as much because his women were always not very hot. Sophomore year. My roommate always got less hot women than roommate freshman year one so I usually excused myself to go throw up. Junior Year - 4 female roomates. Two of them had sex in front of me. They didn’t seem to mind but their guy pickups thought it was weird. My roommates were kind of hot but I never touched them. After seeing them naked around the house enough times ,it kind of wears thin (like being married). In all, I would say that I have seen over a dozen different couples have sex in front of me. It was a very diverse group and I didn’t seek out that kind of thing so it has to be very common. I have had sex in front of probably 10 people or so. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/30 "2005-10-08T17:49:09Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > “Mushroom” is probably _not_ a euphemism you want to cultivate … unless you just support truth in advertising. 😉 But implying it’s shaped like a bishop is fine and dandy? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/31 "2005-10-08T17:51:02Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > But implying it’s shaped like a bishop is fine and dandy? Hey, there’s no beating the bishop analogy. Every play chess? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/32 "2005-10-08T18:09:14Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > In all, I would say that I have seen over a dozen different couples have sex in front of me. It was a very diverse group and I didn’t seek out that kind of thing so it has to be very common. I have had sex in front of probably 10 people or so. Heh, even in college I don’t know of anyone who had sex “in front of” their roommates unless (sometimes) they thought their roommates were dead asleep, or better yet, passed out. And even then, if the roommate woke up, typically he or she was pissed. I always made sure I had the room to myself and my boyfriend. And even when I roomed with guys, I never even walked around naked, much less screwed in front of them. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/33 "2005-10-08T18:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > On the other hand, maybe it is more common than I think. I work in a video store right now, and we have a big adult room in the back. It’s pretty common for pairs of guys (more common, even, than male/female couples) to go back there and rent (straight) porn together. (An even more distubing pair went back there once, but I’ll save that for another day – and no, it wasn’t a minor.) Enquiring minds need to know. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/34 "2005-10-08T18:51:34Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I think that some people just aren’t disclosing what happened when they were younger. Do you have any evidence that people are lying or are you just making a baseless blanket accusation? Given the history of people confessing to weird shit on these boards I’d say you’d have a long way to go to prove that people are somehow holding back. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/35 "2005-10-08T19:18:46Z")
The more hypermasculine the culture, there will often be some homoerotic testing ritual meant to prove (ironically) that one _isn’t_ a homo, as well as to work out the ever-present male dominance/submission issues. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/36 "2005-10-08T19:25:01Z")
**Shagnasty** : when you say “have sex in front of you” does that mean you were in a bed in the room, ostensibly asleep, or were you sitting on your bunk with a tub of popcorn and a cold one? Maybe some good 70s porn music playing in the background. I’ve seen a lot, personally, and I’ve never seen someone (that I knew) having sex in front of me, at least in the “theater in the round/porn experience” sort of sense. ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/37 "2005-10-09T00:03:47Z")
\*\* Happy Lendervedder \*\* said > [@](#): > > I imagine there was a “prettiest pussy” contest too? :eek: The mind reels. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/38 "2005-10-09T00:59:00Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > First not that I am not promiscuous in the least. I think that some people just aren’t disclosing what happened when they were younger. Well I saw a lot of people have sex before. Me and my friends did all that stuff and I never thought it was weird. It was more like the necessity of not having privacy. We had a hard enough time finding places to go let alone to be choosy about nobody seeing. The whole reason we went out in groups was to drink and as soon as we were drunk we were all horny and the only real thing was that you were not exactly supposed to stare at people openly and it would be creepy to show some type of arousal from looking at another couple have sex. But what can I say, we did it all the time and sometimes we didn’t even cover ourselves. The settings would be: someone’s mom’s rec room, camping, in the car, in the woods at a field party, etc. Mostly we were all already couples, not just on some spree of free love. It was just a matter of not caring if someone could see, but not necessarily wanting them to be staring at you the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/39 "2005-10-09T01:15:13Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > Seriously, I’ve never engaged in any of the practices with other males mentioned in this thread. So, you HAVE engaged in some of these practices with males NOT mentioned in this thread? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240/40 "2005-10-09T02:03:53Z")
On a certain 6th grade camp trip, there might have been all-male strip poker and a bit else. One person might have stayed in his bunk, horrified. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/male-sexual-rite-of-passage/325240.md?page=3)