You were this close to owing me a new keyboard for that one.
Well, if you’d put the lotion in the basket, you wouldn’t have gotten the hose.
That ‘contract’ left me more confused than disgusted. What the hell are the GBTs supposed to be used for?
Basically allowing her to wear a nightgown when it’s -15 below out?
Part of me says that if any woman actually agrees to an arrangement like this, they have no room to complain about it.
That said, any girl that I know that would have this presented to her would laugh, and emasculate the man so much that he would subsequently become a homosexual.
Even if this guy had theoretically found somebody fucked up and damaged enough to want to submit to this kind of sadistic fantasy, why would it make the guy himself any less contemptible and vile and pathetic?
Anyone who wants to degrade another person to this level is a disgusting excuse for a human being regardless of whether anyone else “consents” to it.
There are women who passively “consent” to being battered. Does that make the battery any more excusable?
:dubious:
I’m guessing that by the time this was presented to her, he already had her under his control-abusers don’t start out by abusing-they build up to it over time.
And of course that’s exactly the same reasoning people use to define homosexuality as abnormal. Can you categorically state that no one dominance and submissiveness in sexual relations is pathelogical? Not that I’m an expert on these types of things, but I think there are more submissives out there than dominants. A lot more. Who’s to say what is normal and what is not? On the face of it, homosexuality looks patently abnormal.
I’ve got no problem with two people doing anything they want to together, as long as both of them want to do it. For some people anal sex is sick and wrong. This guy’s kink happens to squick some of you. Cutting and piercing, really violent sex, and scat, to name a few things people are into, squick me. That doesn’t mean I’m willing to judge people as twisted and pathetic because they want to engage in those behaviors.
You posters who are ready to pound on this guy for his kinks ought to be a little more open minded. Are you sure your parents would be okay with knowing what kind of stuff you guys do in the bedroom? How about your bosses? I’m pretty confident that most of you have done stuff in the bedroom that you’d be uncomfortable with other people knowing about, and some of it might even be shocking to the public at large.
If consensual, there’s no problem with this contract. It’s definitely more extreme than anything I’d want to be involved in, but that’s not my kink. If the bondage was non-consensual and the contract was drawn up, but not signed by his wife, then there might be a problem here. The problem would not be with the contract but rather his behavior in the relationship. If what his wife alleges is true, then he is guilty of sexual assault. That is completely independent of any BDSM behavior. I’m sure that for every sexual assault case that involved a bondage contract, you’d find about a hundred instances of plain old vanilla (and all too common) nastiness and violence.
A contract has to be agreed to by both parties before it is valid. I can draw up a contract binding you to selling me your soul, but if you don’t sign it, it’s a piece of paper. My hypothetical contract has no power to do anything to you unless you agree to it and endorse it. His wanting to be with someone who would enter into this contract with him is not wrong, but forcing someone to participate when she was not willing is wrong.
While I personally am not into anything beyond a bit of light bondage every once in a while, I sympathize with the BDSM community. I’m sure there are quite a few BDSMers who are profoundly pissed at this guy for violating one of the watchwords of their community, “consensual,” and for causing some really bad publicity.
The thing is, though, it was NOT a contract. He presented to her with no option to refuse. It was, “this is how it’s gonna be.” Did you not read the part where he says if she refuses, he’ll tie her to the bed and do whatever he wanted-pretty much rape?
That’s pretty fucked up. It doesn’t sound like she agreed to it either.
No it isn’t. Not even close.
I can categorically state that sexual sadism is pathological and that the level of desired control and lack of empathy expressed in this “contract” is highly suggestive of a psychopathic personality.
Homosexuality does not involve dehumanization, control, sadism, submission, etc.
You know we don’t have to be SO “enlightened” that we can no longer recognize a plain old sick fuck when we see one.
For the record, I’m not commenting on BDSM in general or consensual role playing which involves those elements. I’m talking about a guy who wants to go beyond role playing in fantasy and try to actually, for real, no fooling move into wanting to completely dominate every aspect of another person’s life. dehumanizing them, literally enslaving them- not as fabtasy but for REAL- and completely divorcing themselves from any concern or feeling for the wishes of the other person. There are lines, you know. There is a point at which a relationship moves from “kinky” into exploitation.
In all honesty, I presume that you’re right. Obviously, if he presented something like this at the first date, odds are that there’s no way that she would have gone along with it.
I was trying for tongue-in-cheek, I think I achieved tastelessness instead.
This is how it reads to me:
Contract
You will EITHER…
a) …obey a long list of obnoxious requirements that you would find extremely tiresome and annoying…
…OR…
b) …keep clean shaven and ask me to rail you up the ass twice a month. (Thereby earning 28 days of Good Behavior Days, which involve no requirements of you other than keeping clean shaven.)
Weird fixation on the body hair, IMO. I guess I just never got that whole clean shaven thing. I mean, clean shaven is nice and all, but I’ll take natural over razor bumps any day of the week.
And WTF was up with that bit about shaving her chest? Do women actually do this?! (All I can think of is Austin Powers: “She’s a man, baby!”)
Haven’t you already being pitted enough for diagnosing people as fucked up and damaged on scant evidence? :dubious:
Yes, I find this contract totally eww, and I don’t eew lightly.
However, I think this contract is this guy’s private fantasy, put to paper, and it is now used by his ex-wife as a weapon in the divorce.
Think of it. The couple was married for nine years, yet the “contract” was never signed. If it was meant as a sort of sicko version of a pre-nup, (“sign this or no marriage!”) it would have been signed, and there would have been more legalese in the wording.
If the guy was a true domineering male, he wouldn’t have had to spell his wishes out. After nine years of marriage, a true dom-guy would have domineered his wife into such submission, that just raising an eyebrow would have been enough, if she didn’t get into her garterbelt fast enough after putting the kids to bed. He wouldn’t have the need to sit behind his computer and put up elaborate fantasy contracts.
The fantasy-aspect shows in the almost lusty detail of the wording and the elaborate lettering, and in the fact that there aren’t any details on what his duties and obligations are.
So besides competely eew, the contract is also completely pathetic. He couldn’t have handed his ex a more deadly weapon. I’d almost feel sorry for the guy.
Almost, but not quite.
…and as a control fantasy gone public, this “contract” reminds me of that website where a guy offered money to any woman who would allow herself to be impregnated by him. He’d have strict demands on how the kid would have to be raised and such. All his demands he stated on his website, including a few akward but seriously intended naked pictures of himself to show the women what he brought to the gene pool.
I’d be obliged if anyone could link to that site, if it still exists on the Net. It was so fascinating and so sad.
I’m guessing that East Wichita Ag Tech has opened registration for online degrees in psychology?
Dio, you are the worst type of idiot imaginable. You take what could have been a valid point and pervert it into absurdity with your inane hyperbole and frothy-mouthed invective. I can almost see the spittle on the inside of my screen. You are ignorance with a capital IG, and are quite likely the most deranged active poster. Go put your keyboard in the blender, please.
What does this one guy’s weird list of requirements have to do with ‘male sexuality’?
It’s one guy!
It’s cool. I didn’t read it as a veiled slam on all men, although (as you doubtless know) I do think your heart is in the right place. 
I was right then and I’m right now. Fuck you. That goes for Waverly too. It’s not ok to treat women like shit. Treating women like shit is not just another color on the palette of human sexuality, it’s fucking abuse. Try not to be so open minded that your brains fall out.
No you’re not right. I’m divorcing this from the specific case because I just don’t have enough information to know what really went on there. Just because you don’t “get” BDSM and slavery doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just another lifestyle that you don’t get. You probably won’t ever get it, but that’s ok, because you don’t have to do it. Don’t go telling people who ARE into it that they are mentally ill, because, you know what? They aren’t, they just have a different kink than you do.