# Males, if you found out you were pregnant right now, what would you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 1, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724 "2005-07-01T17:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/1 "2005-07-01T17:22:44Z")
It seems unfair to restrict the question to one sex. Not to mention all that onus about abortion or not. Guys can feel comfortable that _they_ don’t have to make that decision (or, at any rate, that it doesn’t affect them as closely). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/2 "2005-07-01T17:24:41Z")
I’d go on Oprah, get a book deal, sell the video rights, give the kid up for adoption on a Reality Show that I owned half of, and then use the proceeds to live the rest of my life in peripetetic sybarism with a neverending succession of 19-24 year old concubines. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/3 "2005-07-01T17:25:49Z")
I’d be really confused how all that beer turned into a baby. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/4 "2005-07-01T17:33:16Z")
I’d blame Danny DeVito. ---
**Author:** ![deadeyesdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@deadeyesdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deadeyesdad)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/5 "2005-07-01T18:02:42Z")
Count the cash ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/6 "2005-07-01T18:11:24Z")
I’d be relieved, just for a moment, that I wasn’t just badly constipated. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/7 "2005-07-01T18:26:05Z")
Make sure I had a ceasarian. Because, um…OW. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/8 "2005-07-01T18:28:36Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > Make sure I had a ceasarian. Because, um…OW. Worst. Kidney stone. Ever! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/9 "2005-07-01T18:42:58Z")
Get a second opinion. If still pregnant call a good doctor, lawyer, and priest. I think I would be very happy, though quite concerned as to who the other partner was? Maybe divine intervention or self cloning would be the cause of the pregnancy. I would cary the pregnancy to completion unless the fetus is badly damaged or unviable. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/10 "2005-07-01T19:19:30Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I’d blame Danny DeVito. There’s an image I did not need. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/11 "2005-07-01T20:17:46Z")
[Mr. Lee Mingwei](http://www.malepregnancy.com/) should get a mention here. ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/12 "2005-07-01T21:00:00Z")
Obligatory Life of Brian quote: Judith: [on Stan’s desire to be a mother] Here! I’ve got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’ - but that he can have the _right_ to have babies. Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother… sister, sorry. Reg: What’s the _point_? Francis: What? Reg: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can’t have babies? Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. Reg: It’s symbolic of his struggle against reality. /OLoBq ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/13 "2005-07-01T21:17:59Z")
“Shoot, there goes my anonymity” ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/14 "2005-07-01T21:22:19Z")
Drink heavily. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/15 "2005-07-01T21:41:39Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > There’s an image I did not need. Ever see the movie? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/16 "2005-07-01T21:44:14Z")
Join The Navy! ---
**Author:** ![fubbleskag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fubbleskag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fubbleskag)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/17 "2005-07-01T22:04:23Z")
i would pay a friend to punch me in the stomach. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/18 "2005-07-01T22:07:35Z")
Call _Ripley’s Believe It Or Not_. Definately. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/19 "2005-07-01T22:17:50Z")
Hysterics. Most inquiries: GET. THIS. FUCKER. OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW! Solicitations about my well-being: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL? GET THIS FUCKER OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW! Meeting new people: YOU. ARE YOU THE ONE WHO’S GETTING THIS THING OUT OF ME? GET THIS FUCKER OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW! Pain: AAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAArgh!! Fuck. Jesus. It hurts… GET THIS FUCKER OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW! Sleep talking: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. get this thing out of meeee… now… zzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724/20 "2005-07-01T22:46:06Z")
Find the father, beat the crap out of him. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/males-if-you-found-out-you-were-pregnant-right-now-what-would-you-do/310724.md?page=2)