# Mall-Wart forbids employee reading in the can-employee goes medieval **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592 "2004-05-28T23:11:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/41 "2004-05-29T21:24:27Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > No one’s really mentioned yet that the real thing that should have been Pitted is the crazed SOB who thinks it’s valid to start slicing up people like Christmas hams because he was _reprimanded_ - not fired, not docked pay, but just reprimanded. I think the map should have been pitted. The geographic siren used it’s charms on a victim who was helpless to avoid it’s charms. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/42 "2004-05-29T21:31:09Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Holy cow. A criminal slashes three people with a stiff blade, and what gets pitted is his company’s break policy. Well, yes. Because “Don’t slash up your boss with a razor,” isn’t going to generate much debate, and hence lead to a very short lived thread. “Should Wal-Mart conduct poop checks on its employees?” is, as you can see, a much more fertile subject. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/43 "2004-05-29T21:35:17Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > However, we were forbidden to read while smoking. I didn’t get it - I’m not doing any work at all while smoking; am I somehow doing less that zero work by reading while I smoke? That makes sense to me. If one gets engrossed in the pictures, one might not be as aware of ones surroundings as one should be. I’m trying out a new policy of using “one” instead of the general “you”. On rereading that last sentence, doing so may be a mistake. That reads pretty insufferably pedantic, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/44 "2004-05-29T21:37:21Z")
> [@Asylum](#): > > [The map wasn’t his.](http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/index.php?sty=22222) I think that’s why they cornered the guy, not because of an anti-reading policy. I think you’re right. They were probably going to go after him for stealing (WAG, of course), never expecting to get slashed in the process. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/45 "2004-05-29T21:40:58Z")
Hey, I already predicted it! (And before anyone says he wasn’t leaving the store, taking merchandise into the restroom if it’s not paid for is forbidden in most places. Plus, would YOU want to buy a map or a magazine that some guy had been reading on the shitter?) Is it just me, (and I hate to say this), but um, does he look developmentally disabled? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/46 "2004-05-29T21:44:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Plus, would YOU want to buy a map or a magazine that some guy had been reading on the shitter?) Which of course, brings us back to the _Seinfeld_ episode. “I’m sorry, this book has been flagged.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/47 "2004-05-29T22:50:46Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Well, um, sarcasm aside, that’s pretty much it, isn’t it? He’s not there to read maps and if he’s not on a break he shouldn’t be reading, whether it’s in the restroom or elsewhere. There’s plenty more about Wal-Mart to be pissed off about; this is a total meh. Well it depends. At my job, which is in your standard office environment, I wouldn’t get up from my desk in the middle of the morning or afternoon, and take obviously recreational reading material into the john. But if I’m on my way in or out, or coming back from lunch and I happen to have a novel with me that was reading, or plan to read on my break, then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reading it while I sit. We don’t have a stipulated anti-reading policy. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/48 "2004-05-29T23:01:28Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Well, um, sarcasm aside, that’s pretty much it, isn’t it? He’s not there to read maps and if he’s not on a break he shouldn’t be reading, whether it’s in the restroom or elsewhere. There’s plenty more about Wal-Mart to be pissed off about; this is a total meh. Every time i need to do number 2 (at home or anywhere else), i take some reading material with me to the bathroom. Having this reading material does not in any way increase the time that i spend on the toilet; it simply makes my stay more interesting. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s ridiculous rules like this that serve no purpose except to make an employer look like a cheap, controlling sonofabitch. ---
**Author:** ![Tower\_Dweller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tower\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tower_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/49 "2004-05-30T00:12:39Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Yes, on assembly lines. Aside from regularly scheduled and strictly timed breaks, you are moving every single second. About the only thing you can do is try to “work ahead” a few units so you can take a breather while the line catches up. If you aren’t busting your butt all the time, they either speed up the line or give you extra stuff to do. > > I did it for about three weeks as part of a company training program when I used to work in the automotive industry. I don’t know how long it takes to get used to, but it’s longer than three weeks, I guarantee. 🙂 It actually took me about 3 weeks to get used to it, when I worked at a cabinet factory. You almost made it! Damn line never stopped moving, and if you fell behind it was all sorts of not good. And barring emergencies, you couldn’t really use the rest room until it was time for your break. Makes Walmart almost seem benevolent. But I agree, the policy would make more sense as a time limit, not a “you can’t bring stuff into the bathroom.” The only exception would be unsold merchendise (gross). ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/50 "2004-05-30T04:38:51Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > This is interesting, from **Asylum** ’s link:So he slashed the three managers and ran away, and the police showed up just as he was exiting the store? That has to be the fastest police response in history. Let’s see, slash, run from office to front of store, get arrested. Not necessarily. I work in a grocery store and we always have fast response times from the cops. The reasons for this are many: our parking lot is one of the places cops meet up and do whatever cops do when they pull next to each other in a parking lot; the police station is less than a mile away; the neighborhood directly behind our store has an above average crime rate; and finally a lot of the cops shop at our store when off duty or on break and have become friendly with a bunch of the staff, which makes me wonder if they respond faster just because they like us personally. Any of the above reasons could be responsible for rapid police response, and that’s assuming it wasn’t just luck that the cops were passing by. And for the record, I hate Wal-Mart and don’t shop there, so it’s not like I really wanna go out of my way to defend them. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/51 "2004-05-30T06:40:19Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > This is interesting, from **Asylum** ’s link: > > “The other two managers were cut when they tried to help their boss. Owens ran away, but was arrested by police officers who had just arrived, Franzen said.” > > So he slashed the three managers and ran away, and the police showed up just as he was exiting the store? That has to be the fastest police response in history. Let’s see, slash, run from office to front of store, get arrested. > > Somebody’s not saying something. It sounds to me like the police had already been called before Mr. Owens was called into the office. I think that three people cut and bleeding all over the place are most likely to try to stop the bleeding before calling the police. I think you might need to pencil in a few more minutes for “psychotic ranting.” If I were angry enough to assault my boss with a box cutter, I’d probably have a whole lot of issues I’d want to get out in the open air with him before I left. I wouldn’t just cut and run. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/52 "2004-06-01T17:52:56Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Is it just me, (and I hate to say this), but um, does he look developmentally disabled? …and I hate to say this, but…“What does developmentally disabilities have to do with this?” To tell you the truth, looks are deceiving either way. Very rarely do people with dev. disabilities resort to violence unless there is a dual diagnosis of developmental disabilities and a form of mental illness. Certain mentally ill people are more likely to be violent, with or without a developmental disability. I too am guilty of looking at maps and calculating mileage for potential vacations while on the can. Thankfully though, I am very regular and do it at home in the right after I wake up in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/53 "2004-06-01T18:27:09Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I wouldn’t just cut and run. Boooo. ---
**Author:** ![\_zz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/47e85d/32.png) [@\_zz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_zz)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/54 "2004-06-01T19:37:03Z")
> [@Asylum](#): > > Not necessarily. I work in a grocery store and we always have fast response times from the cops. The reasons for this are many: our parking lot is one of the places cops meet up and do whatever cops do when they pull next to each other in a parking lot; the police station is less than a mile away; the neighborhood directly behind our store has an above average crime rate; and finally a lot of the cops shop at our store when off duty or on break and have become friendly with a bunch of the staff, which makes me wonder if they respond faster just because they like us personally. There is a reason that the convenience store I worked at gave the police free coffee and reduced pastries. They were always nearby. I pity the unlucky shmuck that decided he was gonna knock over that store. Kinda like deciding it would be a good idea to hold-up a firearms shop at gunpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/55 "2004-06-01T19:50:21Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Why does anyone need to look at something while on the toilet? Seriously, I have never understood this. To distract me from thinking about the fact that half the fat, hairy, sweaty buttocks in my company have pressed their assflesh against the seat I’m currently using. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/56 "2004-06-01T20:32:08Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > This fellow [takes a map](http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/0527WalMartStabbing27-ON-CP.html) into the bathroom, and upon his exit receives a reprimand from supervisors. I can think of a circumstance where the reprimand would be justified (and frankly, fairly light): if he “borrowed” one of the maps/books/magazines on sale at Walmart and took it into the bathroom with him. Yuk. I don’t want to buy a magazine/map/book that someone else has covered with [aerosolized poop](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990416.html). (I’m not expecting things to be 100% “boy in the plastic bubble” sanitary, but still) _IF_ it was the store’s book/magazine/map (the article didn’t make that clear), _I_ woulda made him buy it. Other than that one circumstance, it’s a total bullshit rule. Fenris, toilet reader (and who doesn’t object to his _own_ aresolized poop…just other’s) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/57 "2004-06-01T20:43:54Z")
At first I wondered who in the hell needs a map to take a shit but then figured he was probably just getting his jollies by sticking to map scale bar up next to his privates. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/58 "2004-06-01T21:20:20Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > At first I wondered who in the hell needs a map to take a shit but then figured he was probably just getting his jollies by sticking to map scale bar up next to his privates. Nah, it was on his “to do list” 1.) Get map and plan out escape route 2.) Slash managers while alerting fellow employees that managers are actually spies for Martha Stewart and her advance fleet of reptilian lifestyle consultants. 3.) Flee store following preplanned safe route and flag down passing UFO from the Nordic aliens in order to inform them that Martha Stewart’s moving in ahead of schedule. His problem is that he didn’t count on the police being so closeby, thus thwarting his escape. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/59 "2004-06-02T00:36:56Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > I think the map should have been pitted. The geographic siren used it’s charms on a victim who was helpless to avoid it’s charms. 😃 It was a map of Eastern Pennsylvania. The area around Climax. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592/60 "2004-06-02T06:08:12Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > I can think of a circumstance where the reprimand would be justified (and frankly, fairly light): if he “borrowed” one of the maps/books/magazines on sale at Walmart and took it into the bathroom with him. Yuk. I don’t want to buy a magazine/map/book that someone else has covered with [aerosolized poop](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990416.html). (I’m not expecting things to be 100% “boy in the plastic bubble” sanitary, but still) If you’ll look on the first page, I already noted this. Although if you think about it, at least it was a map, and not _Cosmo_. :eek: (Oh, btw, I finally read _The Dispossessed_, which you reccomended me after I read _Atlas Shrugged_. GREAT book!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mall-wart-forbids-employee-reading-in-the-can-employee-goes-medieval/247592.md?page=4)